911! Did you really do this? What do we tell the kids?

I'm pleading the Fifth, or maybe I'm drinking it. Either way, I ain't talking without my lawyer.
 
911, we're sorry but your lawyer had some "trouble" on the way to the courthouse. You can of course have access to a free one ... and here's some cold sliced turkey and mashed potatoes and some milk ...
 
When I was a Health & Safety Officer I did a formal written Risk Assessment for Santa.
.

This included safety harness for working at height, breathing mask for carcinogenic substances (soot), bacteriological wipes for the risk of E,coli handling animals, manual handling aids for parcels, no mince pies or drinks to be consumed without a licensed food handlers certificate, Criminal Record checks for working with children, sound checks on the volume of sleigh bells, special arrangements to be followed when employing people with dwarfism , using a tachograph and a delivery drivers' log of rest periods and several other bits of silliness.

I wish I hadn't. It was published in our in-house magazine and I received dog's abuse from people who took it seriously!
 
That's hilarious, Laurie - all the time I was in Health and Safety I never thought of doing that. :D
 

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