Finding True Love in older ages

Ruthanne

Ruthanne

Caregiver
Location
Midwest
Does anyone think it's worth it? I think I am very set in my ways and it's so hard to find someone compatible. The last man I dated used the F word every other word and it really got on my nerves. Seems immature to me to have to constantly use that word. He never had any thing good to say about me yet it was easy for him to criticise everything about me. I am just getting over the effects of what that did to my self esteem and self image.
I have had subscriptions at various online sites for meeting someone. I only went out with 2 guys from those sites in all these years. That didn't work out and I am disappointed in those sites now.

Does anyone know a good way to meet someone compatible? I am ready to give up, I'm getting too old for this!:(
 

I met my second hubby when I was 40 ,after being single for 12 years ,we married a year latter ,that was 30 years ago however even way back then it was a real minefield weeding out the weirdo's ...I tried a few dating company's ( no internet dating in 1986 to my knowledge ) I eventually struck up the courage to put an add in the city newspaper ,in Adelaide ,where you were supplied with a box number to include in your add, so any suitors could reply to the add ....The newspaper then forwarded on all the replies to me (155) some of the replies were really weird ,some contained naked photos, some of other body parts :eewwk::eewwk:
I'm from Australia ..I'm glad I'm not out there "looking" for a partner in 2016 .There has to be good geninue potential / friends partners out there it's just finding them.
I took on teaching a 53 single man how to use a computer about 12 months ago his main interest to be able to use the computer was to sign up to Internet dating sites, I watched on a he was contacted by many scammers, sure there has to be geninue people on these sites however he didn't have any luck and eventually gave up hope and refused to even try on the net again.
Im like you Ruth I hate that "f" word I have never used it in my life ,my hubby could swear as good as anyone while working but I have never heard him use a swear word
 
Ruth - only 2 guys over several years? Forgive me for saying this, but are you sure you're not expecting too much? Are your standards that high?

Or are there simply not that many eligible guys in Ohio? :D

As Kadee said, there are good people out there - you just have to spend the time filtering out the crazies, but don't set your filters TOO high - a little crazy is sometimes a good thing! :eek:
 

How do you find the right love for you? Just stop trying to find him...and let him find you. :)

I never did understand why we think we have to try and find someone...unless they are lost. If destiny has another true love out there for you, y'all will meet each other when destiny decrees it. On the other hand if you were just to start living and enjoying the life you have been given right at this moment in time...you may both end up meeting each other alot sooner. I believe if there is someone out there for you just get out and about and y'all will find each other.
 
Babsinbloom65 said:
How do you find the right love for you? Just stop trying to find him...and let him find you ...
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While this is the conventional line - almost Taoist in its wisdom - I imagine that people begin to get ... well, desperate ... and want to hurry up the process.

Totally understandable. That's how these dating services have become such monsters - they play off of basic human needs and fears.
 
SifuPhil said:
While this is the conventional line - almost Taoist in its wisdom - I imagine that people begin to get ... well, desperate ... and want to hurry up the process.

Totally understandable. That's how these dating services have become such monsters - they play off of basic human needs and fears.
Click to expand...

Well this is such a hurry up world these days that it seems that no one likes waiting for anything to happen...they just want to make it happen and in forcing things...they often end up with the wrong choice and just have to start all over again anyway.
 
I've never lived alone. I went from home to college to married to single mom to married. Heaven forbid I outlive hubby...but I know I could find another partner again. Love me, my dogs, cats, and books and I'm pretty easy to get along with.
 
Kadee46 said:
I met my second hubby when I was 40 ,after being single for 12 years ,we married a year latter ,that was 30 years ago however even way back then it was a real minefield weeding out the weirdo's ...I tried a few dating company's ( no internet dating in 1986 to my knowledge ) I eventually struck up the courage to put an add in the city newspaper ,in Adelaide ,where you were supplied with a box number to include in your add, so any suitors could reply to the add ....The newspaper then forwarded on all the replies to me (155) some of the replies were really weird ,some contained naked photos, some of other body parts :eewwk::eewwk:
I'm from Australia ..I'm glad I'm not out there "looking" for a partner in 2016 .There has to be good geninue potential / friends partners out there it's just finding them.
I took on teaching a 53 single man how to use a computer about 12 months ago his main interest to be able to use the computer was to sign up to Internet dating sites, I watched on a he was contacted by many scammers, sure there has to be geninue people on these sites however he didn't have any luck and eventually gave up hope and refused to even try on the net again.
Im like you Ruth I hate that "f" word I have never used it in my life ,my hubby could swear as good as anyone while working but I have never heard him use a swear word
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Thanks for your feedback. I'm glad you found your husband. Your experience with the weirdos is a lot like mine. At this point I am tired of looking for a man.

SifuPhil said:
Ruth - only 2 guys over several years? Forgive me for saying this, but are you sure you're not expecting too much? Are your standards that high?

Or are there simply not that many eligible guys in Ohio? :D

As Kadee said, there are good people out there - you just have to spend the time filtering out the crazies, but don't set your filters TOO high - a little crazy is sometimes a good thing! :eek:
Click to expand...
One of the problems I've had is worrying some of these guys are dangerous. A lot of them set off a red flag for me. A lot of them were not from my area and I can't travel to meet them out in the boondocks. My car is very old and I don't trust it to go out of the city much. Many of them also come on real strong suggesting sex right away. Then some of them have just plain been undesirable. I have my standards and I don't feel they are too high.

Babsinbloom65 said:
How do you find the right love for you? Just stop trying to find him...and let him find you. :)

I never did understand why we think we have to try and find someone...unless they are lost. If destiny has another true love out there for you, y'all will meet each other when destiny decrees it. On the other hand if you were just to start living and enjoying the life you have been given right at this moment in time...you may both end up meeting each other alot sooner. I believe if there is someone out there for you just get out and about and y'all will find each other.
Click to expand...
Well, actually I don't get out a lot or enough. I do go for walks with my dog, though, and meet some nice people that way.

SifuPhil said:
While this is the conventional line - almost Taoist in its wisdom - I imagine that people begin to get ... well, desperate ... and want to hurry up the process.

Totally understandable. That's how these dating services have become such monsters - they play off of basic human needs and fears.
Click to expand...
Yes, that's the problem that a lot of guys want to hurry the process and if you are not perfect to them they just go on to the next one. I don't think the dating sites are a good idea any more. I used to go out to singles dances but have not in a long time. I may try that again one day.

Shalimar said:
Gloria Steinem got married for the first time at 76. We are not our parents or grandparents. I believe love is not about age, but about sharing.
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Thanks for that!
Babsinbloom65 said:
Well this is such a hurry up world these days that it seems that no one likes waiting for anything to happen...they just want to make it happen and in forcing things...they often end up with the wrong choice and just have to start all over again anyway.
Click to expand...
That is a big part of the problem!

fureverywhere said:
I've never lived alone. I went from home to college to married to single mom to married. Heaven forbid I outlive hubby...but I know I could find another partner again. Love me, my dogs, cats, and books and I'm pretty easy to get along with.
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I'm pretty easy to get along with. I have a dog and 2 parakeets and it is important a man love them. The last guy I was with was nasty to one of my birds and that is one of the reasons we are not seeing each other any more.

I know I said that I only dated 2 guys from the dating sites over some years but I have also dated some who are not from the dating site. It seems the guys on the dating sites are pushy and seem to want one thing!
 
RuthJD said:
One of the problems I've had is worrying some of these guys are dangerous. A lot of them set off a red flag for me. A lot of them were not from my area and I can't travel to meet them out in the boondocks. My car is very old and I don't trust it to go out of the city much. Many of them also come on real strong suggesting sex right away. Then some of them have just plain been undesirable. I have my standards and I don't feel they are too high.
Click to expand...

Understood.

Not having had any "dates" nor even relationships for many years (hence my self-proclaimed "monkhood :D) I'm out of the loop. Plus, I'm a guy, so I have a bit of difficulty empathizing with the feminine point of view - it must be scary these days on those sites.

Yes, that's the problem that a lot of guys want to hurry the process and if you are not perfect to them they just go on to the next one. I don't think the dating sites are a good idea any more. I used to go out to singles dances but have not in a long time. I may try that again one day.
Click to expand...

Probably a good idea - the in-person approach has worked for centuries, and you can get a better idea of someone up close and personal.

I'm pretty easy to get along with. I have a dog and 2 parakeets and it is important a man love them. The last guy I was with was nasty to one of my birds and that is one of the reasons we are not seeing each other any more.
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I've never trusted anyone who is cruel to animals of any kind.

I know I said that I only dated 2 guys from the dating sites over some years but I have also dated some who are not from the dating site. It seems the guys on the dating sites are pushy and seem to want one thing!
Click to expand...

Hmph ... they should do a study on those guys, but then they would probably never admit to their true motivations.
 
For me books are my great passion. If I wanted to meet a gentleman of a certain age, I would frequent the coffee area in the local Barnes and Noble. After a while you know the frequent flyers who are just there to type the next great novel. But perhaps someone who just shows up weekly to read. Especially if they shop like me, browse twenty and buy three. Chat them up about books...Key questions Are you unattached? Do you like companion creatures? How about meeting me here next week sailor?
 
fureverywhere said:
For me books are my great passion. If I wanted to meet a gentleman of a certain age, I would frequent the coffee area in the local Barnes and Noble. After a while you know the frequent flyers who are just there to type the next great novel. But perhaps someone who just shows up weekly to read. Especially if they shop like me, browse twenty and buy three. Chat them up about books...Key questions Are you unattached? Do you like companion creatures? How about meeting me here next week sailor?
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Ah, yes, but we are soulful creatures who are quite loving and kind and passionate and WILL DESTROY ALL THE NON-BELIVERS WHEN MY NOVEL IS FINALLY PUBLISHED !!!

... ahem ...
 
See that would work for me too...you type your epic novel and I have a dog head and several cats trying to get in my lap...and the pile of books beside me...doesn't get better than that:)
 
fureverywhere said:
See that would work for me too...you type your epic novel and I have a dog head and several cats trying to get in my lap...and the pile of books beside me...doesn't get better than that:)
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Cats, canines and coffee-table books - yep, works for me too.

Now if only I can get rid of this flea infestation in my ponytail ... *itch, itch, itch*
 
Shalimar said:
Ewwwwwwwww.
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But I've trained them! They ride on the little Ferris Wheel, roll the little ball with their front legs ... I'm going to tour as Philly's Phlea Phenomenon!

fureverywhere said:
Advantix, nape of your neck once a month and no worries
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I don't have to wear a collar? I really LIKE wearing a collar!

And scratching my neck with my leg - is that kosher?
 
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