Husband leaves wife in labour with first baby to play football for the team

[Warrigal]

Opinions please - is it praiseworthy for a sportsman to put the team and the boys first and leave his wife to give birth alone?

Bronco leaves wife in labour so he can play footy



Apr 29, 2016
Emma Manser Reporter



James Roberts was out on the field just hours after his partner went into labour.

Roberts' son was born on Sunday morning. Photo: Getty

Brisbane Broncos have been lambasted for applauding the “selfless” actions of their star centre player, who put the team before the birth of his child. James Roberts’ wife, Anna Jovanovic, was already in labour last Friday when he ran out on the field to play against the 12th-placed Rabbitohs at Suncorp Stadium. The top-ranked Broncos went on to wallop their opponents 30-8.

“Roberts was going to miss the birth after a making a selfless decision to put the team first and play against the Rabbitohs last Friday, after partner Anna went into labour only hours before kick-off,” the Broncos said in a statement.

But not everyone was as supportive of Roberts’ decision.

“To describe the actions of a young sporting star who chose to kick around a ball with a team of men over staying with his wife, and soon to be first-time mother, as selfless … well, that’s just selfish,” Vanessa Croll said in an article for News Corp.

One person commented online: “If my partner left me in labour to play football they would be not allowed back in the house.”

“Brisbane Broncos: disappointed to hear you supported James Roberts [to] play and leave his WIFE at home begging for support,” another said.

‘I wanted to do it for the boys’


Anna Jovanovic and James Roberts welcomed their son, Kirk, on Sunday morning. Photo: Facebook

Speaking after the birth, Roberts said he didn’t want to let the team down.

“She was begging me to stay and not go but I just wanted to come up and do a job for the boys,” Roberts said. “I am sure Wayne did [want me to play] but he didn’t say much, I think he was just avoiding calls from Anna.”

Their son, named Kirk after Roberts’ brother who suffers from muscular dystrophy, was born at 4am on Sunday morning.

Jovanovic later described Roberts as a “loving, caring and nurturing father”.

‘Damned if they do, damned if they don’t’

Parents were often heavily criticised for their decisions, a parenting expert told The New Daily.
“We are always quick to criticise, I think parents are one of the most criticised members of the population,” parenting expert Dr Rosina McAlpine told The New Daily.

“They are damned if they do, and damned if they don’t. If they stay they go: ‘great, he stayed with his wife, that’s fantastic’, and if they don’t they go: ‘oh my goodness, it is all about football, his poor wife’ … or if he stays he is seen as letting the team down.”

Tennis superstar Andy Murray said he would leave the 2016 Australian Open – even if he reached the final – if his wife, Kim Sears, went into labour before the tournament’s end.

Daniel Murphy, a second baseman with the New York Mets, was blasted for taking three days’ leave during the playing season for the birth of his first child in 2014.

 

[Ameriscot]

If it was some big championship game I'd say fine, go ahead. But not for regular game.

My husband's first wife went into labour when he was playing footy, but he wasn't a professional player. He was not happy about having to leave the match but he did.

 

[Shalimar]

What a jerk! The birth of a baby is a once in a lifetime thing. It can also be a frightening experience for a young woman alone. What kind of husband leaves his begging wife to not let the boys down? If my husband did that, he would be on the couch for months. Selfish prat. That is the polite word. I like Andy Murray's response! I look forward to a world where women are at par with men.

 

[Ameriscot]

What a jerk! The birth of a baby is a once in a lifetime thing. It can also be a frightening experience for a young woman alone. What kind of husband leaves his begging wife to not let the boys down? If my husband did that, he would be on the couch for months. Selfish prat. That is the polite word. I like Andy Murray's response! I look forward to a world where women are at par with men.

Love Andy. He said his wife and child were more important than a match and would have missed it if he needed to.

 

[Pookie]

There's too much crap put on athletes and I don't care who you are ... your family comes first. Know why? They'll be long after with you than your coaches and guys who toss you after your knee issues and failings.

Better start putting your love and feelings where your future is ... just saying.

I think it's a question of priorities.

 

[Butterfly]

I don't see how this is anybody's business but the couple's.

 

[Laurie]

This business of being present is a modern thing.

In our early years it was an all female thing, and men were sent packing.

When my son was born the midwife picked up my wife at 3.00am and took her off to hospital, and I went back to bed. If I'd gone to the hospital I'd have had to make my own way there, and I would not have been allowed beyond the front desk.

I went to work as normal and telephoned at half past eight, to be told she was still in labour. I telephoned again at 12.30 to be told of my son and then, and only then, did I set off for the hospital, with the congratulations and best wishes of my workmates, both male and female, ringing in my ears. They would have regarded this as the perfectly normal procedure.

Fathers were just about tolerated in the hospital as helping with the well-being of the mother. Babies got a little more consideration, for the same reason, but the whole shebang revolved round the mothers, they were queens in residence.

Rightly so, for back then that was likely to be the last rest she got for twenty years.

 

[Shalimar]

My son's father was with me when my son was born. He wouldn't have missed it for the world.

 

[Warrigal]

My husband wasn't allowed to be present when our children were born. There was not a single person present for either birth whose face I had ever seen before that day. It was horrible. I felt very alone, and for much of the time I was. For our first, my husband was in a state of anxiety from the time I arrived at the hospital, midnight, to 10 pm the next night when he learned that he had a daughter. I didn't see her until the 10 am feed the next day and he had to wait until afternoon visiting hours.

My dad was in the army when I was born and he had to wait for a telegram. He was on the opposite side of the country to my mother. He didn't see me until I was 8 months old.

My daughter had her third and fourth babies at home and She had the midwife, her husband and me, looking after the other children and providing food for everyone. It was a wonderful experience. The old ways are not necessarily better than the new.

 

[Falcon]

These "fathers" must have sand for brains; comparing sports with birthing.

 

[SeaBreeze]

I don't see how this is anybody's business but the couple's.

I agree Butterfly. If my husband was a professional football player I would expect him to play for his team in a scheduled game. If I was pregnant, I wouldn't be so selfish, I would encourage him to play and help the team win, and wish him good luck. It's not like she's alone in a cabin in the backwoods somewhere.

 

[Guitarist]

To answer your question, Warrigal, IMO it's not praiseworthy.

However ... what was the coach telling him to do? Is it a pro team? Was the guy afraid of getting kicked off the team -- losing his livelihood?

 

[WheatenLover]

Apparently his wife wasn't in labor yet and wanted her husband to play the game.

"I would like you to all know that it upsets me to see people talking about my husband in such a negative way. I told James to play that evening because I knew that our baby boy wouldn't arrive until after the game as I was not in 'early labour' at that point in time," she started out.

"James is such a loving, caring and nurturing father who was by my side the whole way through the birth of our very first son and never left my side!
"While James was at the game, doing what he loves and does best, I was surrounded by my extended family from Sydney and mother-in-law while James was at the stadium."
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/lif...-labour-for-broncos-game-20160429-gohusu.html

 

[Guitarist]

WheatenLover, you remind me of me, going and researching the story on your own and getting more facts.

 

[WhatInThe]

If he's a football star making lots of money and he took a penalty for missing a game I'd side with his decision. Living comfortably and the child never wanting because of a lack of money is better than a child having a parent that can't provide for their family. Because of his status the child will get the best schools, medical care and supervision/nannies etc.

 

[SeaBreeze]

Apparently his wife wasn't in labor yet and wanted her husband to play the game.

"I would like you to all know that it upsets me to see people talking about my husband in such a negative way. I told James to play that evening because I knew that our baby boy wouldn't arrive until after the game as I was not in 'early labour' at that point in time," she started out.

"James is such a loving, caring and nurturing father who was by my side the whole way through the birth of our very first son and never left my side!
"While James was at the game, doing what he loves and does best, I was surrounded by my extended family from Sydney and mother-in-law while James was at the stadium."
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/lif...-labour-for-broncos-game-20160429-gohusu.html

Thanks for that WheatenLover, I can't believe some of the drama queens who always want some poor woman to seem like a victim of a selfish man. When that's not the case, don't create the drama with lies and exaggerations. They look like a nice couple, hope their new baby is happy and healthy.

 

[Cookie]

I agree Butterfly. If my husband was a professional football player I would expect him to play for his team in a scheduled game. If I was pregnant, I wouldn't be so selfish, I would encourage him to play and help the team win, and wish him good luck. It's not like she's alone in a cabin in the backwoods somewhere.

If the husband was in in any other kind of work, he would probably have got leave of absence to be with his wife during the birth of their child. Even if he was professional sports player he could have got leave if he wanted to. What is it about sports teams that make them take priority above everything else.

It's not at all selfish to want the husband with you during the birth, since it is both partners' child, shouldn't the father share in the experience. To me it seems like the man is the selfish one, and sexist on top of it, to be out playing sports while his wife is alone and struggling giving birth. In the old days the women often had to face labor alone and with not much moral or emotional support, because men considered it women's business. In fact it is very much like being alone in a cabin in the backwoods if you are with a bunch of strangers during the birth. But since she was with her extended family, she was OK and not complaining, which she probably would dare not anyway, as that would look bad for her husband and his team.

 

[Shalimar]

I have a friend who at the tender age of twenty four had an aneurism while giving birth. Even in the twenty first century, childbirth is not without risk. Fortunately she was fine. I wonder how her husband would have felt had she died while he was away playing pro sports? There is nothing selfish about wanting the father of your child in

attendance while you are giving birth. I am flabbergasted that people might consider that attitude dramatic or diva like. Of course this woman will tow the party line, too much is at risk should she upset the good ole boys. Sexism is rampant in professional sports.

 

[Cookie]

I don't see how this is anybody's business but the couple's.

This is a post that is open to discussion and for us to express our point of view, in which case everything here is everyone's business or nobody's business, otherwise, what the point of this forum at all?

And SB, this is an opportunity to express an opinion and point of view about a situation that many here have personal experience in, so what is the problem with doing so, which is what we were invited to do. If this is a topic of discussion there will more than one way of looking at it. I am very disappointed by the name calling - drama queens and liars because we shared our opinions. I hope this does not happen again.

 

[Butterfly]

This is a post that is open to discussion and for us to express our point of view, in which case everything here is everyone's business or nobody's business, otherwise, what the point of this forum at all?

And SB, this is an opportunity to express an opinion and point of view about a situation that many here have personal experience in, so what is the problem with doing so, which is what we were invited to do. If this is a topic of discussion there will more than one way of looking at it. I am very disappointed by the name calling - drama queens and liars because we shared our opinions. I hope this does not happen again.

And, Cookie, what I was doing was stating my opinion that I didn't see how it was anybody's business but theirs. I still don't -- that makes me a name calling drama queen? How exactly does that work??

 

[Cookie]

Butterfly, you have misread my post as well as another one which I was addressing.

Only my first paragraph is in response to you.

My second paragraph was referring to someone else's post not yours. Try re-reading and see if it makes better sense to you.

 

[SeaBreeze]

Apparently his wife wasn't in labor yet and wanted her husband to play the game.

"I would like you to all know that it upsets me to see people talking about my husband in such a negative way. I told James to play that evening because I knew that our baby boy wouldn't arrive until after the game as I was not in 'early labour' at that point in time," she started out.

"James is such a loving, caring and nurturing father who was by my side the whole way through the birth of our very first son and never left my side!
"While James was at the game, doing what he loves and does best, I was surrounded by my extended family from Sydney and mother-in-law while James was at the stadium."
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/lif...-labour-for-broncos-game-20160429-gohusu.html

Thanks for that WheatenLover, I can't believe some of the drama queens who always want some poor woman to seem like a victim of a selfish man. When that's not the case, don't create the drama with lies and exaggerations. They look like a nice couple, hope their new baby is happy and healthy.

And SB, this is an opportunity to express an opinion and point of view about a situation that many here have personal experience in, so what is the problem with doing so, which is what we were invited to do. If this is a topic of discussion there will more than one way of looking at it. I am very disappointed by the name calling - drama queens and liars because we shared our opinions. I hope this does not happen again.

Cookie, I wasn't calling anybody here names. I was clearly responding to the information and the link above my reply, and I was talking about the media. The media who always exaggerates everything to get people all worked up and to make headlines. The wife/partner showed her disappointment with the media in talking about her husband in a negative way. Of course we all share our opinions here, and I never try get anyone to change their opinions, I always respect them whether I agree or not.

 

[Cookie]

Sorry, I misunderstood your post, SB. Of course you would not have been referring to anyone here. Thanks for your patience.

 

[SeaBreeze]

That's okay Cookie, no need to apologize, reading typed words can often cause misunderstandings. It seems that the news reports and newspaper headlines often emphasize a word or give an false meaning to the story, just for the added drama and attention it gets. Nowadays with social media, it seems to really start a snowball rolling downhill with emotionally charged comments, or so I hear. I don't do facebook or twitter, etc.

 

[Butterfly]

That's okay Cookie, no need to apologize, reading typed words can often cause misunderstandings. It seems that the news reports and newspaper headlines often emphasize a word or give an false meaning to the story, just for the added drama and attention it gets. Nowadays with social media, it seems to really start a snowball rolling downhill with emotionally charged comments, or so I hear. I don't do facebook or twitter, etc.

I don't either, SB.