Too Much Pun

Uncontrolable said:
You know, it gets tough when you throw out stuff like plane yogurt. I considered that one to be particularly deviant. Good Job yourself. Tag, your it.
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Oops, I goofed up the message. I absolutely hate this format. So I will say it again. You know, it gets tough when you throw out stuff like plane yogurt. I considered that one to be particularly deviant. Good job yourself. Tag, your it.
 

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"Yes, I got thru summer and fall," said Mr. Dumpty, but now its been 6 months, we are headed for winter, I am 5 weeks past my eggspiration date and I feel a little rancid." "But you have always been a good egg. What are you to do?" "Don't know," said Humpty. "I'm beginning to smell, I'm feeling pretty scrambled." "Then Humpty thought, "I know what to do. can't stop thinking about eggstermination!" Humpty ran for the wall, climbed up and went to the highest edge. Humpty's friend knew Humpty would jump so he yelled, "WAIT! "Let me get some water. You don't have to eggspire. We can make egg drop soup." But Humpty yelled back, "I would like to eggspress my last wishes. Go to the King's Men mortuary. They can pick up the peices." Then Mr. Dumpty rolled himself over easy and fell right off the edge. The people below heard a big SPLAT!, that left them feeling queasy.
 
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. We didn't see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.

How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
 
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