Trouble with Job

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
As some of you may know, I work delivering meals to the elderly and shut-ins. Recently I had an upsetting experience with on client. Up until then, he'd been friendly and talkative, usually about his farm and pets. When I arrived and went to the door that day, I saw him standing with his back to the door. I knocked and it must have startled him to the point he turned around too quickly which caused him to fall on the floor. I wanted to go in to see if he was okay, but the door was locked. He did finally get up and instead of opening the door to accept the food, he walked into another room out of sight.

I continued to knock, but he did not re-appear and neither could I enter. I had no choice but to go back to my car with his meal. I had just reached the car when I heard his door slam and he came running out flailing his arms and yelling. I thought he wanted his meal so I held the tray out for him. Instead he kept yelling that I didn't have an ounce of brains to bang on the door when his back was to it (even though there is a sign on the door saying "Knock Hard - my ears don't work very well") and that I did it on purpose. He continued in an agitated manner and said to get off his property and he never wanted to see me again - all the time waving his arms and shaking his fists. I though he was going to strike me, but, fortunately that's one thing he didn't do. Suddenly he just turned around and started walking toward his barn, so I left with his meal undelivered.

Of course, if there is a problem with a client, it has to be reported to the meal agency, which I did. Now I am just wondering why he fell down when I knocked and why he became so angry at me. It seemed to me his reaction was overstated.
 

Everybody has a bad day now and then, my assumption is that he was startled, frustrated and embarrassed.

Unless your manager tells you otherwise, I would go again and act as if nothing happened.
 
Since are required to report it and you did, it should be up to your supervisor to follow up to find out why that person reacted the way he did. I would expect you to accompany the supervisor or the supervisor accompany you when & if the supervisor follows up.

People can have a different version so you should be there to hear that version.

Given the reaction [as you described it sounds like misplaced rage] I wouldn't expect for you to have to deliver anything until that was resolved .
 

Knight said:
Since are required to report it and you did, it should be up to your supervisor to follow up to find out why that person reacted the way he did. I would expect you to accompany the supervisor or the supervisor accompany you when & if the supervisor follows up.

People can have a different version so you should be there to hear that version.

Given the reaction [as you described it sounds like misplaced rage] I wouldn't expect for you to have to deliver anything until that was resolved .
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I agree. Certainly you did nothing wrong by knocking on the door, and I'd even imagine he was probably expecting you to come and deliver his food. Sounds to me like he has some kind of mental issues to provoke that display of rage.

I, personally, would not go back there unless I was accompanied by a supervisor. You shouldn't have to put yourself at risk of harm or verbal abuse just to deliver a meal to someone.
 
I would be frightened to go back, especially since it seems like he might have a mental problem. It's wonderful of you to volunteer your time to help others, but your own safety is more important.
 
debodun, I can understand why that was a distressing encounter for you. The gentleman in question appears to have some mental issues (perhaps early dementia), but you certainly did nothing wrong. I agree that you shouldn't go back there unaccompanied by a supervisor or person in charge of the program, for your own safety and to assess whether the gentleman needs some kind of professional help.
 
They called me today to fill-in for another meal driver (however, I couldn't do it because of a previous commitment). I took the opportunity to ask them if they had looked into the situation and if it was resolved. They agent would only say that "this client has been removed from the delivery list for now." I can only surmise they found a problem which necessitated removing him.

BTW - I know his wife - she attends the same church that I do and she also has a weekday Bible study in her apartment. She moved out of their home about a year ago, so now I may have found the reason she could no longer stay there. I also assume they contacted her about what happened as every client must have an "emergency contact" that the agency can call in case of a problem. At yesterday's study, she did not mention it and neither did I. I guess as long as he's been taken off the delivery route, they did work out something.
 
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As dementia progresses many people suffer what looks like unreasonable,unprovoked raging.
Probably the decision was made in the best interest of the volunteers.
I just hope he has the ability to get food for himself.
I worked for 10+ years in an alzheimers unit of a nursing home.
 
Certainly sounds like dementia, maybe Alzheimer's, especially since until then he had been friendly and outgoing. This man is crying out for help. Volunteers bringing food or whatever should not put themselves at risk. They should try, if possible, to get the name of a family member or close friend, and tell them what is going on.
 
debodun said:
It's a JOB whether I get paid or not - it's something I work at.
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Absolutely right...It's more of a 'job' in the sense of the word, IMO...because not only is volunteering for no money doing the same work as someone who is being paid, but often it's a thankless position...yet you offer your time for no recompense .. JOB it is...paid or not!! No difference whatsoever apart from the financial aspect. ...and without people like you Deb, working hard in jobs for no pay, many people would be left hungry, and homeless . Thank you for your service!
 
Sunny said:
They should try, if possible, to get the name of a family member or close friend, and tell them what is going on.
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It is not the responsibility of the meal bringer to deal directly with the families of the clients. We are supposed to notify the meal agency of a problem and THEY take the correct steps. That's just the rules. He certainly has a strange way of asking for help by verbally abusing people trying to help him.

It is just amazing to me that it's the day I have to deliver that I get the clients on their worst days. Earlier this year I walked in on a man having what looked like an epileptic seizure. A few years ago a woman was laying in her bed with a large gash on her leg and begged me not to tell anyone, but of course I had to do what I thought was best for her welfare. Last year I had to help a woman that had fallen outside her house waiting for her meal and she couldn't stand up - limp as a rag doll and I had to call the rescue squad. The man with the seizure had been off the delivery route since that day. The woman with the gash was put in assisted care and has since passed. I am still delivering to the last person - come to find out, she was just severely dehydrated. She was treated and sent home where she still is.
 
Sunny said:
Certainly sounds like dementia, maybe Alzheimer's, especially since until then he had been friendly and outgoing. This man is crying out for help. Volunteers bringing food or whatever should not put themselves at risk. They should try, if possible, to get the name of a family member or close friend, and tell them what is going on.
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Thats what I'm thinking also, especially frontal lobe dementia.

http://www.alzheimers.net/frontal-lobe-dementia/
 
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