Agree with Ashleigh Banfield (HLN) - this accusation is BS

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Recently a woman identifying herself as "Grace" accused actor/comedian Aziz Ansari of sexual misconduct. When I read about it and saw something on TV, I was on the fence. But now I agree with Ashleigh (HLN) that this is BS. She had a bad date that didn't work out. So now she's trying to put herself in the same category of the women who actually have been abused, harassed, and assaulted.

“Dear Grace,” Banfield began, using the woman’s pseudonym in the story. “I’m sorry you had a bad date. I’ve had a few myself. They stink.”

The host acknowledged that it’s “hard being a victim,” but that was clearly not how she was viewing her in this case. “Let’s take a moment to reflect on what you claim was the ‘worst night of your life,’” she added. “You had a bad date. Your date got overly amorous. After protesting his moves, you did not get up and leave. You continued to engage in the sexual encounter.”


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(full article and video)

https://www.thedailybeast.com/ashle...nsari-accuser-what-you-have-done-is-appalling
 

AliceNWonderland said:
I certainly do not agree with that! There are Rape Crisises all over full of women who will tell you different.
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I didn't say "rape" I noted "date-rape"....Big difference . When it is a claim made days / months / years later of "date-rape" and there is absolutely no evidence . That is when i say BS !!
 
Rape is a crime and as Banfield said (I saw that show, too) report that to the police! Sexual harassment is an insidious thing because it's hard to prove which makes it all the more apt to happen and continue to happen. Which is why it's so important for women (and men, too--they can get sexually harassed, as well) not to scream harassment for every little thing and thus making real harassment easy to dismiss by saying it's exaggerated.
 
AliceNWonderland said:
Date-rape is a form of rape. The person's word for it is evidence. It is not BS whenever the claim is made.
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That is pure BS..."date-rape" is a claim, an accusation, nothing more...he-said / she-said. No evidence, no way of being proven.

"The persons word" Really?...which person ? what makes one more believable than the other? Hence the need for evidence / proof.

Show me proof of a crime?....let's prosecute...voicing an accusation?...don't waste my time.
 
Olivia said:
Rape is a crime and as Banfield said (I saw that show, too) report that to the police! Sexual harassment is an insidious thing because it's hard to prove which makes it all the more apt to happen and continue to happen. Which is why it's so important for women (and men, too--they can get sexually harassed, as well) not to scream harassment for every little thing and thus making real harassment easy to dismiss by saying it's exaggerated.
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Harassment is just too 'broad-brush' . What person "A" sees as harassment, person "B" sees as a flirt / a pass.

Just because one person may be incensed / insulted does make a crime.
 
rgp said:
That is pure BS..."date-rape" is a claim, an accusation, nothing more...he-said / she-said. No evidence, no way of being proven.

"The persons word" Really?...which person ? what makes one more believable than the other? Hence the need for evidence / proof.

Show me proof of a crime?....let's prosecute...voicing an accusation?...don't waste my time.
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Maybe that's a good reason to re-think casual sex.
 
rgp said:
That is pure BS..."date-rape" is a claim, an accusation, nothing more...he-said / she-said. No evidence, no way of being proven.

"The persons word" Really?...which person ? what makes one more believable than the other? Hence the need for evidence / proof.

Show me proof of a crime?....let's prosecute...voicing an accusation?...don't waste my time.
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I thought I covered that already. Harassment is not normally considered a crime. Rape is and should be reported to the authorities, which will investigate.
 
The View discusses the allegation: (scroll down to video)

[video]https://www.gossipcop.com/the-view-aziz-ansari-misconduct-video-sexual-assault-debate-watch/[/video]
 
rgp said:
I didn't say "rape" I noted "date-rape"....Big difference . When it is a claim made days / months / years later of "date-rape" and there is absolutely no evidence . That is when i say BS !!
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I believe some men who start out a date with a woman are capable of rape when they are denied what they want.
 
I'm not sure why rape is being discussed here.
The woman did NOT accuse Aziz Ansari of rape, or assault, or even harassment.
Her problem, according to her, is that he didn't read her "non-verbal cues", and she felt uncomfortable.
 
Olivia said:
I thought I covered that already. Harassment is not normally considered a crime. Rape is and should be reported to the authorities, which will investigate.
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I understand, & we agree...but! Harassment is often 'dealt' with on-job ,...with nothing more than the accusation. That is wrong IMO.

Yes rape is a crime, and indeed should be reported, but not a month or a year after the act.
 
I still say this sounds like no more than a bad date that didn't meet her expectations.

There is no workplace context or professional relationship here.

She could have ended the date after dinner and refused to go to his apartment.

Yes, (according to her account) he sounds a bit pushy, but if her non-verbal cues included mutual, consentual oral sex then I could see how he wouldn't get the message she is saying she tried to convey. I think the whole #metoo movement is great and about time, but let's get real, this was nothing close to assault.

This basically cheapens the whole #metoo movement to the point where women everywhere can just cry foul whenever they have morning-after regret over a poor choice. Now, if he had pushed himself on her after she said no, then yes, assault. It just sounds like he was being rather selfish but he had no problem calling her a cab, and he didn't try to block her from leaving at any point. They had both been drinking and no one is on their best behavior when that happens. I honestly feel kind of sorry for him because it really just sounds like she wanted revenge and to ruin his reputation when he didn't behave like the perfect gentleman she was envisioning. Her account is pretty graphic and embarrassing and now any future date he ends up having will have those details in mind. Considering he didn't intend to hurt her but was simply selfish, obtuse, and a bad lover, that's pretty brutal. The part at the beginning of her story where she complained about the color of the wine she was offered then took a picture and posted it pretty much set the tone as to the type of person she is. I mean, WTH was that?​
 
Good article from New York Times:

But the solution to these problems does not begin with women torching men for failing to understand their “nonverbal cues.” It is for women to be more verbal. It’s to say, “This is what turns me on.” It’s to say, “I don’t want to do that.” And, yes, sometimes it means saying goodbye.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/15/opinion/aziz-ansari-babe-sexual-harassment.html
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I agree with you, Applecruncher. From what I have read about this incident, it certainly doesn't fall into what the MeToo people are trying to shed light on. It was a date that went bad -- and as to nonverbal cues, I prefer verbal ones such as "NO!" Besides which, if she participated in mutual unforced oral sex, which she admits she did, that appears to me to be a nonverbal cue that it's OK.

This one is horsepuckey.
 
I know that rape is not an issue here, but I did find the two articles that I read interesting reading to say the least. As for any legal ramifications, it all depends on how the state's laws are written. I am not an authority on law, but IMPO, I really doubt if she has a claim of rape, statutory or otherwise, under any of our 50 state's laws. It sounds to me like both of them were making some bad choices as the night progressed. Maybe she should have been reading his cues and gotten the hell out of there.

I am still questioning as to why she just did not leave, if she was having feelings of being mistreated, or was feeling compelled to follow the man's directions. I have to agree that it was probably a date gone wrong, maybe on both sides. These two probably should should not have ever hooked up to begin with.

As for his being on women's side when it comes to being forced to perform against their will or being harassed and writing a book, etc., I have come to learn in my profession that some people are not who they pretend to be. I have sat and interviewed murderers that could charm you into making you believe that they are as gracious as Robert Young in the old TV series, "Father Knows Best", all the while he was being charged with killing his family.
 

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