Grandson Behavior

P

Patnono

Member
Location
Whittier,Ca
I'm a first time grandmother who's daughter n her son live with me. He's going to be 4. Problem is he's becoming a Brat, nothing new there, but my daughter is doing a Bad job of disaplining him. She keeps threatening him with time out. She doesn't follow threw.
She gets upset if I complain about his behavior. I don't let him get away with it. So now she tries to leave the disaplining to me. I'm retired and don't have the patience or energy to deal with this. I already raised my kids. I want to talk to her that if this continues I'll be moving out. My nerves can't handel this much longer?
I feel bad through because I know she can't afford to live alone. I'm sure other grandparents have the same problem, how are you handling this???
 

Sometimes not a good idea to move in with your kids. You and your daughter need to have a frank discussion and if your daughter is working then you are the one left to set the rules when his mother is not there to do it and your daughter needs to let her son know that grandma is in charge and should be obeyed along with mom.

If you are firm in telling your daughter your intention to move out unless there is improvement leaving her in the position of financially cutting back things could change. Good luck.
 
She's always lived with me. He's in preschool. I only watch him for 4 hours on Monday's. She only works PT. I have my own space upstairs. When you come in you know a child lives here. We have had that conversation. The hold up is, her older sister us taking her in, she's not ready for that yet. She next year, so will have a talk about getting along till then. Thanks for your support
 

I believe you said in another thread that you pay the rent on the place, is that right? If so, it may be time to tell your daughter to make other living arrangements so that you can have some peace in your life.
 
Who is paying the rent? If you are, and she isn't paying, then you have "controlling interest". Plus, if she is leaving the discipline up to you, she has no right to get upset. If she continues to get upset, just tell her she will have to find someone else to keep him and stick to it if you aren't allowed to discipline him. She won't find many if any that will keep one without being able to discipline them when they need it.
 
Things have gone from too much discipline (straps and sticks and beatings), to being afraid to give a wack on the bottom for fear of being reported to the police. I'm glad I'm not a parent of small children these days. Like others have said, if you pay the rent she has to follow YOUR rules or go find another place to live. You don't deserve to be stressed out. I feel sorry for the kid if she allows him to behave badly, he'll have problems getting along in society by not getting limits to his behavior now. If her older sister is like her, the kid will be a juvenile delinquent later on or at least be a difficult teenager/adult. Be strong and assertive, it's your place and your rules.
 
AprilSun said:
Who is paying the rent? If you are, and she isn't paying, then you have "controlling interest". Plus, if she is leaving the discipline up to you, she has no right to get upset. If she continues to get upset, just tell her she will have to find someone else to keep him and stick to it if you aren't allowed to discipline him. She won't find many if any that will keep one without being able to discipline them when they need it.
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I strongly agree.
 
Sometimes when people are suffering from anxiety/depression communication can be difficult, as can seeing things clearly, and making decisions. When it hurts to breathe, everything seems overwhelming.
 
Yes, being a parent now is tough, everything they do is under a microscope. I too I'm glad my kids are grown. My grandson behaves pretty well in school. He knows he can get away with things with his mom. Kids are smart that way
Her older sister n husband wouldn't allow his misbehaving. He has spent time with them. Im pretty firm with him in speaking to him. I've never believed in hitting kids, just mean what you say. That's the problem with my daughter she doesn't follow though. I've told her I'll be moving if things don't change. This works on my nerves.
 

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