Do You Have A Friend Of The Opposite Sex

"No" for both of us. IOW, wife doesn't have any and I don't either. Just the way we like our marriage. None of the "Girls" or "Boys" "Night Out" thing in our marriage either. Actually we only know one "never been married" lady and she WAS best friends with my wife until I came along. I took my wife places, like pro-rodeos, that the girlfriend didn't like or wasn't interested in. My wife and her still talk on the phone a few times a year, but she lives States away from us.

Funny, but a girl, some 20 years younger than me and with whom I had had a relationship with, including sexual, that I knew for a few years, wanted to stay friends with me after I met my wife. I told her on the phone, "Sorry, absolutely not. I'm not going to ruin a good thing I have going now." The girl didn't really like hearing that, but........."oh well".

I have no buddies/male friends and wife doesn't have any girlfriends. Don't need them when both of us love doing everything together.

We do know a married couple we go out to dinner with sometimes. My wife has known her since high school and him since they got married back in the 70's.
 

What I'm wondering is........do the people who are married let their spouse know that they are corresponding with a person of the opposite sex?
 

You wrote: Good grief Treeguy, what are they if not the opposite sex. They are gay women. But if you are talking transgender going from woman to man then I suppose we are talking opposite sex at that point.


Heavens to Murgatroyd, Mizzkitt, gay women are not the "opposite sex," when it comes to all preconceived notions concerning male/female interactions.
 
treeguy64 said:
You wrote: Good grief Treeguy, what are they if not the opposite sex. They are gay women. But if you are talking transgender going from woman to man then I suppose we are talking opposite sex at that point.


Heavens to Murgatroyd, Mizzkitt, gay women are not the "opposite sex," when it comes to all preconceived notions concerning male/female interactions.
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Interesting, to me, sexual preference does not affect my perception of gender. I have male friends who are straight, bisexual, gay, and one who is asexual. None of it matters to me in the least. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes, different personalities, etc. Unless I was looking for a mate, their sexual orientation would be irrelevant. My interest lies in their minds, hearts, spirits, not *******ia.
 
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Shalimar said:
Interesting, to me, sexual preference does not affect my perception of gender. I have male friends who are straight, bisexual, gay, and one who is asexual. None of it matters to me in the least. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes, different personalities, etc. Unless I was looking for a mate, their sexual orientation would be irrelevant. My interest lies in their minds, hearts, spirits, not *******ia.
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There again, that's YOU! It's pretty obvious that not everyone is like you and definitely doesn't want to be. What you are, and it's totally fine, is like a "big city" person who absolutely loves anything and everything about "big city".......the "anything goes" type, I guess. But, that's you.
 
ClassicRockr said:
There again, that's YOU! It's pretty obvious that not everyone is like you and definitely doesn't want to be. What you are, and it's totally fine, is like a "big city" person who absolutely loves anything and everything about

"big city".......the "anything goes" type, I guess. But, that's you.
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Why such a vehement response? I am not looking to convert anyone. Each to their own. I am not a big city person, I live in a

small town, very close to rural areas. Lots of dairy farming around here. Llamas and Alpacas also. Even Gypsy Vanner horses are raised nearby. As for “anything goes,” that is a pretty big assumption, considering you do not know me. I deal with many different types of people in my line of work, most pouring out their hearts, looking for respite from

emotional agony. It doesn’t get any more real than that. Someone might not like their looks, approve of who they sleep with, but, in my experience, being gay or lesbian does not stop you being a man or a woman, and I view them as such. My post was in response to Treeguy and his post.
 
Shalimar said:
Why such a vehement response? I am not looking to convert anyone. Each to their own. I am not a big city person, I live in a

small town, very close to rural areas. Lots of dairy farming around here. Llamas and Alpacas also. Even Gypsy Vanner horses are raised nearby. As for “anything goes,” that is a pretty big assumption, considering you do not know me. I deal with many different types of people in my line of work, most pouring out their hearts, looking for respite from emotional agony. It doesn’t get any more real than that. Someone might not like their looks, approve of who they sleep with, but, in my experience, being gay or lesbian does not stop you being a man or a woman, and I view them as such. My post was in response to Treeguy and his post.
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I guess I was reacting to your personality concerning LGBT people. Gee, what can I say, I'm a former "farm boy" from northeastern Indiana and wasn't raised to be the way some folks are today. And, actually, I refuse to change. My wife is the same way. There are those in this forum who think exactly the way I do...........wish they come to my defense! Oh well.

I don't know anyone on this forum, but can be very good at understanding how some are.

I'm sorry if I took you wrong, but wife and I are definitely not like you. When I hear/read words like "live and let live" or "to each their own", I just don't know. Have never been like that. When I lived in a part of Southern California, I was really kind of ridiculed for my former "farm boy" attitude. They sure didn't have the "to each their own" or "live and let live" thinking. I couldn't wait to move out and go somewhere where people understood me. Anyway, our Faith in Christianity basically rules our lives, thinking and feelings. ​
 
ClassicRockr = "When I hear/read words like "live and let live" or "to each their own", I just don't know"

I believe in that. I wouldn't want anyone to tell me how to live my life, whom I can be friends with, what religion I should believe in, and how I dress (as long as I'm not dressing obscenely). As long as people do not abuse or kill people and animals, I'm okay with them.
 
Shalimar said:
Interesting, to me, sexual preference does not affect my perception of gender. I have male friends who are straight, bisexual, gay, and one who is asexual. None of it matters to me in the least. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes, different personalities, etc. Unless I was looking for a mate, their sexual orientation would be irrelevant. My interest lies in their minds, hearts, spirits, not *******ia.
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I feel the same way. Sexual preference does not affect my perception of gender. I’ve also had male friends who are gay, straight, bisexual and asexual. And actually gay men make fabulous friends. I’ve also had gay women friends and been ok with that, as long as they didn’t hit on me but those rules apply to all people no matter what their gender or sexual preference.

Sexual preference is just part of who people are and should not define them. Like Shalimar states, the more important stuff is what’s inside. Being open minded doesn’t make a person more of a freak. It makes them more ‘tolerant’ of others and having tolerance of others shouldn’t be looked upon as a negative characteristic. Thank heavens for tolerant people.
 
PVC said:
ClassicRockr = "When I hear/read words like "live and let live" or "to each their own", I just don't know"

I believe in that. I wouldn't want anyone to tell me how to live my life, whom I can be friends with, what religion I should believe in, and how I dress (as long as I'm not dressing obscenely). As long as people do not abuse or kill people and animals, I'm okay with them.
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Exactky! Live and let live is more about ‘minding your own business’ and having tolerance for others. You don’t have to like and support what they do but you don’t have to condemn it either.

It reminds me of a saying I read that stayed with me.
********
I thought I was getting more tolerant in my old age but as it turns out,
I ‘actually’ discovered .... that I just don’t give a _____ any more.
********
I think people’s priorities change as they get older so most people don’t care about stuff that perhaps they used to.
It’s a good thing :)
 
Robusta said:
God, How insular you are! You and your wife actually have NO friends? Your entire circle is one other person? That is a sorry situation.
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Yes, I know, such a terrible thing isn't it, BUT, it works out GREAT for us.​
Our boat doesn't go on the water unless she is in it and I don't go to the range unless she is with me. However, I do go on errands during the week when she is at work.

Just to let you know, we'd love to have friends, but married friends ONLY. But, just can't find anyone close to our age that likes what we like. AND, we very particular about who we'd make friends with. IOW, one "particular" thing is, absolutely no smokers. But, since we can't find any and done have any, we totally enjoy each others company. It works out excellent for us.
 
How can two people be so dense as to totally miss the point I was making? When I am asked: "Do you have friends of the OPPOSITE SEX?" the implication, TO ME, is that I am being asked if I have female friends with whom I could get involved, if circumstances presented themselves. That leads to all kinds of situational scenarios. If I was asked: "Do you have any gay, female friends?" - - - THAT is a whole other kettle of fish! Comprenez vous? I doubt it! Spare me your oh so righteous indignation!

The OP, for the two who have missed the boat and are now treading water, in here: "Is it possible to keep an opposite sex friendship completely platonic?" NOW, do you two understand????? Again, I doubt it!
 
"Anyway, our Faith in Christianity basically rules our lives, thinking and feelings."


Well that explains allot............
 
Yes PVC--men feel insulted to be just friends when they want romantic. It looks like rejection,
and if the man even softly implies he ihas romantic interests, usually the women back away quickly. Or runs.
I have seen a girl literally run down the stairs fast.
 
Victor said:
Yes PVC--men feel insulted to be just friends when they want romantic. It looks like rejection,
and if the man even softly implies he ihas romantic interests, usually the women back away quickly. Or runs.
I have seen a girl literally run down the stairs fast.
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It may be a rejection but, IMO, it's not an insult about the man's attractiveness. I've met men that were very handsome and I was not attracted THAT way, and I've been attracted to several who were homely (Charles Bronson types). Chemistry is a puzzle, no one can pinpoint it. I could never be intimate with someone I didn't have chemistry with.
 
I remember, a few years before I met my wife, I met a lady at a Denny's. She was a little older than myself, but one thing I definitely knew from the beginning........I had absolutely no physical attraction to the lady at all, but that's not the way she felt. I wasn't seeing anyone at the time, so we exchanged phone numbers. I called her to see how she was doing and she asked me over to her house on a Saturday afternoon. I went over and we started talking and during the conversation I told her that my back hurt some from what I had been doing at work the day before. She offered to give me a back rub in her bedroom, but I could definitely tell that she wanted more that to give me that. She went to grab my hand and I darted up off of her couch, walked fast to the front door, open it and walked fast to my small truck. By the time I got in and started the engine, she was standing by the window and asked me what was wrong. I just looked at her and said, "I have to go and I mean now". She backed away and I took off. The next time I seen her, outside of Denny's, I stopped her and told her why I left her house so quick. She was disappointed when I told her I had absolutely no physical feelings at all for her. We stayed friends, somewhat, but I did find out, from her, that she'd been seeing (sexually) a married guy who was still with his wife. Guess she wanted me in order to break away from him. She was at our wedding and I've told my wife about what happened and we both laugh about it.

I have absolutely no communication with her anymore.
 
PVC said:
It may be a rejection but, IMO, it's not an insult about the man's attractiveness. I've met men that were very handsome and I was not attracted THAT way, and I've been attracted to several who were homely (Charles Bronson types). Chemistry is a puzzle, no one can pinpoint it. I could never be intimate with someone I didn't have chemistry with.
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I agree with you 100%. Chemistry is a puzzle, nobody can pinpoint what that is to all. Its so personal.
Trying to be intimate with someone who doesn’t do anything for you doesnt work, no matter how much others detest it. It IS what it is. People who push this end up in relationships that just don’t work in the long run.
Its just ‘my opinion ‘ also.
 
Keesha said:
I agree with you 100%. Chemistry is a puzzle, nobody can pinpoint what that is to all. Its so personal.
Trying to be intimate with someone who doesn’t do anything for you doesnt work, no matter how much others detest it. It IS what it is. People who push this end up in relationships that just don’t work in the long run.
Its just ‘my opinion ‘ also.
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I think chemistry works with female animals, too, but mostly with birds. I once saw a Nature show about land birds (grouse or something like that, they can't fly). The males all would have a certain area where they waited to mate with the females. There was one older bird and most of the others were younger. All the males strutted their stuff to attract the females, but the females all lined up to mate with the oldster. He serviced like 30 females in 30 minutes or so. The female the camera crew was following lost her first batch of eggs to a predator. She went back to the clearing and went straight to the oldster to be serviced again, not a look at the eager younger ones. The narrator said they had no explanation about her and the other hens's preference.
 
Mizzkitt said:
PVC....That's a long friendship. Just curious, I am assuming you start out with email and progress to skype??? I know of one lady that started out with an online long distance and different country friendship.She was from Ontario and he was from Texas. It progressed over time and they eventually married.
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That's how my wife and I met and began our relationship as well. She was also from Ontario and I from Mass. She was a friend of a friend on fb, I sent a pm to her regarding a thread we had both posted in and it took on a life of it's own from there. We will be married 7 years in December.

On a side note there is an awful lot of judgemental bs going on in this thread. Not sure why some people don't understand that not everyone thinks and lives as they do, some people are actually happy being different. But reading this thread wasn't a total loss, I learned that gay women aren't members of the opposite sex. :laugh:
 
JimW said:
That's how my wife and I met and began our relationship as well. She was also from Ontario and I from Mass. She was a friend of a friend on fb, I sent a pm to her regarding a thread we had both posted in and it took on a life of it's own from there. We will be married 7 years in December.

On a side note there is an awful lot of judgemental bs going on in this thread. Not sure why some people don't understand that not everyone thinks and lives as they do, some people are actually happy being different. But reading this thread wasn't a total loss, I learned that gay women aren't members of the opposite sex. :laugh:
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People will be judgmental, just the way many humans are. I see absolutely nothing wrong with being that way. Sometimes bad things can happen in life when a person isn't judgmental, which is basically associating with the wrong type of people. I think that there are just those that approve more of what many consider "normal" than other types of people. A lot of people have their own ideas of what "normal" is, while others might consider "normal" as just about anything. One person can say, "the person sure seems normal to me", while another person can easily say, "no way".
 
Charles Bronson is not homely IMO. Not at all. Woody Allen looks homely.

I think we all agree chemistry is crucial and that explains why people with seemingly
nothing in common and opposing types are couples. The rest is physical.
Then again, suppose you met a poor man with much chemistry for you. If he has no ambition or a lousy job
that would change your mind/

As we (or at least me) become seniors, our chemistry dissipates.
 
Victor said:
Charles Bronson is not homely IMO. Not at all. Woody Allen looks homely.

I think we all agree chemistry is crucial and that explains why people with seemingly
nothing in common and opposing types are couples. The rest is physical.
Then again, suppose you met a poor man with much chemistry for you. If he has no ambition or a lousy job
that would change your mind/

As we (or at least me) become seniors, our chemistry dissipates.
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That did, sort of, happened to me once years ago, way before meeting my wife. There was a lady at a local nightclub that I was very interested in asking her out. She was definitely good looking, actually TOO good looking for me. I was just about to ask her out and she turned to me and said "Don't even ask, because I will say no. I definitely know you can't afford me". Where some would find that rude of her to say, I really, really appreciated her saying that. She told me the truth............I really, really couldn't afford her! I had a $10 per hour job as a Stockroom Supervisor, temporarily living in a weekly motel room and driving an old truck.
 
ClassicRockr said:
People will be judgmental, just the way many humans are. I see absolutely nothing wrong with being that way. Sometimes bad things can happen in life when a person isn't judgmental, which is basically associating with the wrong type of people. I think that there are just those that approve more of what many consider "normal" than other types of people. A lot of people have their own ideas of what "normal" is, while others might consider "normal" as just about anything. One person can say, "the person sure seems normal to me", while another person can easily say, "no way".
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Having different points of view and being respectful in voicing them is one thing, being judgemental to the point of being insulting is another.
 

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