Happiness in Living Alone

I've lived alone for most of my adult life and I'm content with it.

IMO it takes a great deal of energy to live with people in a respectful way.

At this point, I'm not sure that I would be able to do that 24/7.

It may be selfish but living alone is just easier and more comfortable for me.
 

I can't even process happiness and living alone in the same sentence. I don't know if I'll ever feel that way.
Sometimes we are not given a choice when the unexpected happens, and we are thrown into an uncomfortable situation. So, to live alone is definitely not a choice I would make, if having the option of living with a compatible significant other or roommate.
Guess we can build up a tolerance to anything, if we do it long enough, but that's not living to me, it's more like just existing.
We are all unique in our preferences, and reasons for feeling the way we do.
If you have a good social circle and/or a close family, I'm sure that would make a world of difference too.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I've lived alone for most of my adult life and I'm content with it.

IMO it takes a great deal of energy to live with people in a respectful way.

At this point, I'm not sure that I would be able to do that 24/7.

It may be selfish but living alone is just easier and more comfortable for me.
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Oh for sure, SELF is #1 and when there are others to interact with, good grief...even a triangle of 3 is more difficult than 2.
 

CindyLouWho said:
I can't even process happiness and living alone in the same sentence. I don't know if I'll ever feel that way.
Sometimes we are not given a choice when the unexpected happens, and we are thrown into an uncomfortable situation. So, to live alone is definitely not a choice I would make, if having the option of living with a compatible significant other or roommate.
Guess we can build up a tolerance to anything, if we do it long enough, but that's not living to me, it's more like just existing.
We are all unique in our preferences, and reasons for feeling the way we do.
If you have a good social circle and/or a close family, I'm sure that would make a world of difference too.
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In my case, I didn't expect to be left by the man I thought would be my life partner. Stuff and life happens.
 
jaminhealth said:
In my case, I didn't expect to be left by the man I thought would be my life partner. Stuff and life happens.
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You're right, jaminhealth, life happens. I'm sorry for what happened to you..We just never know what's around the corner.
I'm just ready for a "sign", of something great to happen in my near future and to lift my spirits. I've done the hard part, so ready to live again. I just turned 56, divorced a few years ago and the years sure
do go by fast!
 
CindyLouWho said:
You're right, jaminhealth, life happens. I'm sorry for what happened to you..We just never know what's around the corner.
I'm just ready for a "sign", of something great to happen in my near future and to lift my spirits. I've done the hard part, so ready to live again. I just turned 56, divorced a few years ago and the years sure
do go by fast!
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One thing from my divorce experience, it was tough at the time and for some yrs BUT, a big but, I grew so much, learned so much I would have never gotten under my belt in the marriage. I know this to be true...absolutely. I was mid 30's and had been moved to CA by the husband and what a big big world CA was for me to explore. And explore I did. But never wanted re-marriage...I really don't want to take care of anyone. So good can definitely come from divorce...jam

If you have children, they are NO. 1 so give them a good life and have FUN too...
 
I believe living alone is not for everyone. But if you are alone, you can make it be what you choose. Happy or not. My father was heartbroken when my mother died after 60 years of a very happy marriage. But he still did all the things he enjoyed, gardening, working on various types of motors and cars, shopping and watching out for his grandkids (who were a handful, even grown) and he was into his guns and did reloads in the evenings. Always busy.
 
I used to have very little time for myself. Now, living alone, I'm able to really soak in the simple things in life. I can now quietly use all my senses to appreciate the earth and all of God's creation. I never had time to really feel the gratitude before...not with the intensity I feel now.

I'm relaxed. I'm quiet. I listen to what the earth is telling me and I take good care of it by not using more resources than I need, recycling, planting and watering. Now I'm able to be more mindful of not taking any blessings for granted small or large. I'm very happy living alone.
 
Had a pitiful romantic life and decided just to enjoy life alone. Had many hobbies and a great family and friends. Then in 1977 I was "pushed" into getting married. I know I had a choice, but I made the wrong one. I took marriage very seriously. It is a promise before God and man. Within a few years we had a house 2 cars and 2 daughters. After 7 years she got bored and walked away leaving me with the house and 2 daughters. My family had money, but she did not understand it was not my money, and she found a guy who had more than me. After my daughters were grown and gone, I realized how much I liked living alone. I could not imagine having to live my life around the wants and needs of another person. I am now able to retire and have several hobbies and my youngest daughter lives not too far away raising my grandson, so I spend time with them. I cannot wait to have the freedom to pay the bills and not have to be a slave to my job. Once liked my job , but it has become as sad as my marriage was toward the end.
 
Lara said:
I used to have very little time for myself. Now, living alone, I'm able to really soak in the simple things in life. I can now quietly use all my senses to appreciate the earth and all of God's creation. I never had time to really feel the gratitude before...not with the intensity I feel now.

I'm relaxed. I'm quiet. I listen to what the earth is telling me and I take good care of it by not using more resources than I need, recycling, planting and watering. Now I'm able to be more mindful of not taking any blessings for granted small or large. I'm very happy living alone.
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Amen to that! .. I'm right there with you Lara.
 
For me the choices and opportunity of working in different places in the world have been great and have met some great people. But your circle of friends tends to be a long way away once returning home. I've always been solitary but had a few good friends. My ex and I were sort of a social group to ourselves. she was a lot less social than i.

Now retired and living alone is a bit of an adjustment. I live out in the country and seeing plants and trees grow and change is fantastic. The 4 seasons in Ontario are all quite different and I can enjoy them alone or with someone else. Winter a time for reflection, clearing snow, putting wood in the stove. Spring planting and watching for germination. Listening to the birds and animals. Summer enjoying a nice breeze while having a coffee. Fall is the best time of year. Nature provides some companionship.

It would be better to have someone or small group i could sit and chat with on occasion but with some luck that will come in time. I do enjoy my solitude but we are social beings and lacking that consistently is at times the thing i miss the most.

Life is as it is ,most of where I am in life is from the choices good and bad made in the past. So i do try not to dwell on what it would be like to have a spouse again or children and grandchildren . I enjoy what is and take what comes at this point
 
Lived alone for the last 17 years and was fine--but the Covid shutdown and recovery from knee injury meant over a year of truly being at home alone for weeks/months. Now I am sharing my new space with a friend I have known for 40 plus years. Nice to have another set of eyes and ears and a different perspective.
 
I think maybe it is easier to live alone in a city than in the country (unless you have neighbors close by). I am alone in my apartment but if I feel like interacting with others, I just open my door. Some people leave their door open as a sign for others to stop in to say hi. I don't do that. Living downtown means just walking down or across the street and there are people everywhere. The library is directly across the street so that is an option too.

Of course, I think of the internet as my link to others and that is where I interact the most. I never feel lonely, but I know many people who do not use a computer at all. They have no interest in it. I would probably feel lonely without it. I tend to think of my online friends as my real friends. I have come to know them better, maybe due to writing instead of actually talking.
 
i think it depends greatly on the person. i've lived alone much of my life. i'm one of those people who treasures my solitude but when i am 'with' people' i'm fully 'present' and attentive. My daughter lives with me but she's a solitude lover too---so we each get a good bit of time to ourselves. She works full time, a 2:30 to 9:30pm shift, so i get lots of time to myself i'm usually in bed an hour two after she gets home but she's up for several hours so has that alone time. On one of her days off, we usually watch some TV/Movies together and talk about stuff going on, but we give each other space. i'm sure her being here is reassuring for my sons who live in other states as i get older. i live in the country, mostly talk to neighbors when we're down in the village, unless they're cleaning the irrigation ditch we all share, then we chat a bit. However, the once or twice we NEEDED Help---they magically appeared. That works for me!

i've lived in NYC and Honolulu and a few other big cities, but i want as much peacefulness as possible at this stage of my life. i totally get that others may need to feel people are closer by.
 
Living alone makes you "master of your domain". You do what you want, when you want and if you want, yet as a social animal, we need others so it's a balance. Living together had better be the right one though or it's misery. I've had both, and as someone who is a bit of a loner anyway and tend to be introspective, alone works for me at this stage of my life.
 
I think being alone or with someone both have their good and bad points. Each individual is and couple is a pretty complex system. I tend to believe we go through life with numerous choices but its the decisions we make or don't make that take us on our journey. Difficult at times to accept being with someone or being alone but we have to enjoy each day and what comes our way as best we can. Would have been wonderful to settle down with the "right" companion but just never seem to happen for me. Onwards
 
feywon said:
i've lived in NYC and Honolulu and a few other big cities, but i want as much peacefulness as possible at this stage of my life. i totally get that others may need to feel people are closer by.
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I lived in Honolulu back in the early 1990's and nearby in Kaneohe.

This was a place I used to go to, called "Chinaman's Hat":

Kaneohe-Hawaii.jpg
​
 
Time Waits 4 No Man said:
I lived in Honolulu back in the early 1990's and nearby in Kaneohe.

This was a place I used to go to, called "Chinaman's Hat":

Kaneohe-Hawaii.jpg
​
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I was there off and on in the 70s. Remember that island. Lived in Manoa Valley, then in neighborhood up behind the Zoo and Queen's Rose Garden.
My retired (after 20 yrs service)Navy son was stationed at Pearl Harbor for 16 yrs and stayed on Oahu after retiring. He flew my daughter and i out there for his retirement ceremony in January of 2014.
The traffic! Daughter had been watching the new Hawaii Five-0 series and we were like 'Do they film the car chases at the crack of dawn? Cause most of the day no way you could weave in and out of traffic that fast.
 
I do not like living alone. Never have, never will. I'll move in with a niece or nephew if and when my hubby passes.

I lived with my mother til I bought a house while still single.

Living alone in a house was not what I expected. I had many sleepless nights as I had never been alone before. It was tough, but somehow I managed being alone. I'd begged my mother and/or someone from my extended family to stay with me. I don't know why I am this way; but, I am. I am a big chicken. Bawk....
 
As you can see from the posts here, we are all different. Some people cannot imagine living alone and some are very comfortable in doing so. Now I can honestly say, this is the happiest I have ever been and I know that is not saying much for my whole life. But it is what it is. I was married 3 times to the wrong men I guess. I will never live with someone else again.
 

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