What's on your Christmas list?

I've written my annual letter to Santa:

Dear Santa:

This year please bring me a slim body and a fat bank account.

Please don't get them mixed up like you did last year.

Thanks,
Jujube

Oh I love your letter. Do you mind if I send one like this to Santa too !
 

Homemade peanut brittle

Oh, and that nog you got the neighbor girl to make me last year
Only, make it two mason jars this year

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Please

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Oh, and more beer
served by buxom ladies

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and various beer

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served with cleavage


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that's pretty much it
 
Dear Santa, :christmas1:
Do you think this year you could find me a new, better, dream job,....oh and can it be in a beautiful, quaint, little mountain town...oh, and one more thing, if I can be so greedy, maybe a sweet, kind, funny, caring, outdoorsy loving kind of a man.
Sorry Santa, I know it's alot to ask, but I think I'm overdue for something good!
 
I don't really need anything but since I'm on this gluten free diet ,and not by choice, I really appreciate gluten free food. Especially cookies! I don't buy them for myself. They are a bit on the expensive side and I sure don't need the extra calories and all that sugar. Yet, it is so nice to just grab a box of already made cookies and enjoy without having to make them. Easy for the family members who have no idea what to get me.

Last year my stash lasted me into the summer.
 
Santa doesn't even slow down when he flies over my house!

I pick up a few little treats like premium coffee, chocolate, a poinsettia, etc...

I picked up my first treat of the season the other day, these will last me until the new year if I'm careful!
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I focus so completely on the kids and grandkids over Christmas, I'm always taken aback when my family asks me for MY Christmas list! I've started an Amazon list to make it easier for everyone, not that there's much on there, but it helps that it's online and all in one place.
 
No real need to make a list or to have Jolly Old Saint Nicholas to come by......I've got a good woman that for some odd reason loves me, we've got a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, food in our bellies and dollar or two socked away for a rainy day.

*me smacking self on forehead*........but then again if he's got a extra bottle or two of good scotch in the sleigh he's more than welcome to ease that down the chimney.

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I don't really need/want anything but people often insist. I'm perfectly happy with things like a book of postage stamps, a package of copy paper, a couple of scratch off lottery tickets, a gift certificate to get the oil changed in my car or things that are warm and colorful...like socks. There is nothing better than a pair of soft, warm socks.
 
Cordless climbing saw, charger, extra battery. Please deliver it on the first night of Chanukah, via your special services delivery operation. If you don't, I'll just buy it. I need some write-offs.
 
I would lose my beer, and anything else I had in my system, if I turned and saw the top of those two bald-headed guys hiding in that woman's bustier! I detest silicone/saline balloons masquerading as boobs. YUCK!

My feelings, precisely. (Except for the 2 bald-headed guys thing. :D)
 


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