Just senior humor

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Fifty Shades of Grey by Pam Ayres




The missus bought a Paperback,

down Shepton Mallet way,

I had a look inside her bag;…

T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

Well I just left her to it,

And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor,

And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek;

But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;

She’s eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;

A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said

“I am a dominator!!”

Now if you knew our Mabel,

You’d see just why I spluttered,

I’d spent two months in traction

For the last complaint I’d uttered.

She stood there nude and naked

Bent forward just a bit

I went to hold her, sensual like

and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

My God what had I done!

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

“Step on the other one!!”

Well readers, I can tell no more;

Of what occurred that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,

Turned fifty shades of grey!
 
“I’m not saying I’m old, but my back goes out more than I do.”
“I finally got my head together… and now my body is falling apart.”
“At my age, ‘getting lucky’ means finding my car in the car park.”
“I don’t need a personal trainer. I need someone to follow me around and shout, ‘Don’t sit down!’”
 
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