75 and in retirement community. Most everyone here looks 85 and on walkers.

It wouldn't be so bad here if I had friends on the outside the building to go out with. These grandmother's go out with their families and have fun. This community is not their whole world. I only have 2 older ladies to help me and I don't see them too much. They have their own family problems. I do not drive. Some people here do.
There is resentment here because I am youthful looking and most look very old.do you think if I asked. M Y priest
My hometown is only 5 miles away and I would like to have friends from there to go out out with.

Do you think if I asked my priest he ight know any ladies who are !lonely and want a friend?
 
Since they (your friends) live only 5 miles away, can you call one who drives and invite her to lunch to talk about "old" times? I think confiding this to your priest is a good idea. Can't hurt!
 

timoc said:
I am a youthful, debonair, and good looking 84.75 year old who occasionally fibs, far too young to live in those places, they're full of old people you know, and they f*rt a lot like me. ;)😊
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That's OK, they fit you out in adult diapers that the staff euphemistically call, "the crap pads."
At least you can tell your friends, when they ask where you are, "Southampton's for the Continent, but I'm in Bournemouth, for the in-Continent."
 
Tara said:
It wouldn't be so bad here if I had friends on the outside the building to go out with. These grandmother's go out with their families and have fun. This community is not their whole world. I only have 2 older ladies to help me and I don't see them too much. They have their own family problems. I do not drive. Some people here do.
There is resentment here because I am youthful looking and most look very old.do you think if I asked. M Y priest
My hometown is only 5 miles away and I would like to have friends from there to go out out with.

Do you think if I asked my priest he ight know any ladies who are !lonely and want a friend?
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I'm a little confused. It sounds like you don't actually have friends from your hometown that's five miles away and are hoping your priest can facilitate some meet-and-greets. Am I getting that right? If so, why not ask your priest if the church sponsors various social clubs or events for women? Or for people in general? Or if the community does? Internet searches might help with that.

My advice:
If I were in your situation I'd stop worrying about areas where I don't fit in within your retirement community and figure out where I DO fit in. So what if other residents are mostly 10 years older than you? By the time people are over 70 they've had a wide range of interests and experiences, some of which you'd surely have in common.

Unless you've aged better than Jane Fonda (who had plenty of help), other women are probably a whole lot less focused on your make-up and appearance than you are. When I meet people roughly my age it doesn't dawn on me to consider whether they look more or less youthful than I do. Close up, none of us in our late 60s and beyond look 22 anymore. Or 32. Or 42. Or even 52.

The best way to have a friend is to be a friend. Be interested in what other people are doing and saying. Join in your community's activities, even if they don't particularly interest you. You don't have to love bingo, music trivia, jigsaw puzzles, various outings, walks around the block, bird watching, whatever, to participate. Focus on the goal of connecting not the activity vehicle that gets you there.

I wish you luck.
 
StarSong said:
Unless you've aged better than Jane Fonda (who had plenty of help), other women are probably a whole lot less focused on your make-up and appearance than you are. When I meet people roughly my age it doesn't dawn on me to consider whether they look more or less youthful than I do. Close up, none of us in our late 60s and beyond look 22 anymore. Or 32. Or 42. Or even 52.
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😭
 
@StarSong Thank you! If I were better at expressing myself, it's precisely what I'd have said. @Tara appears to be so focused on what isn't that she can't see what is.

@Pepper LOL! You mean at 81+ I'm no longer youthful looking? Blue hair and tattoos haven't disguised me? I'm no longer a nubile young maiden? No longer a long-legged hard bod? I'm gonna join you😭😭😭😭
 


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