@Autumn72 You have us! We're invisipeeps, but we're here, and we care.
@Kika After DH died, my kids pressured me/convinced me that moving here was the best thing to do. There were times when I thought it was the dumbest thing I ever did...
but 13 years later I'll admit that they were right.
I live in what I call The Hovel, a "granny flat" built behind DD's garage but still attached to their house. The Hovel has a separate entrance, full kitchen, tiny bedroom with a walk-in closet, equally tiny sitting room, full bath, even a small storage room. It's completely self-contained but with a connecting door for access to their back hall leading to a laundry room, then their house. Hey, I even have a teeny, tiny patio outside my door. I joke that The Hovel is so small that I go outside to change my mind. The whole place is just under 300sf. Thank heaven my brother designed it for the maximum efficient use of space!
DD/DSIL/g'kids always knock before coming in.
Now that I'm 13 years older and have given away my car, being here is helpful and convenient. DD takes me to and picks me up from work every day, takes me to medical appointments, bank, wherever I need to go. We do our grocery and other shopping together either on Sunday or Monday, my days off.
What I'm saying is that you might want to reconsider rejecting your son's offer to build a place for you at their house. If you do, just make sure that the ground rules for your living there are firm and understood by all. That is, you'll respect their space and their privacy and they will do the same for you.
I paid to have The Hovel built (at cost by one of my brothers, a residential contractor) so there's no rent, but I do give DD money every month for a share of the utilities, groceries, gas.
When DD and I communicate, it's usually via text because The Hovel is ground level on the west side of their house, and DD works from home...her office is upstairs on the east side. Too darned far to hike through the house and up the stairs to talk!
So...at 81 I don't worry about living alone, about getting sick with no one around to help, and if I feel lonely, there's almost always somebody home "next door".
Best thing? Their home is on a corner lot of a cul-de-sac and the back/side yards amount to almost a quarter acre that's mine to do with as I wish. The street side is wooded and left natural, but the rest is a sprawling flower garden that keeps me busy nine months of the year.
Do I wish I could live in a little house by myself? Yes. As my daddy used to say "Wish in one hand, sh!t in the other and see which one gets full first!" Would living alone be practical as I age? No.