Adult Child Complaining Parent Didn't Leave Enough Inheritance

PVC

Active member
Location
Southern AZ
Well the bitter child continues to stew over no big life insurance policy. Keeps on complaining it's unfair the children(1/2 century old) should have to pay for their deceased parents bills yet he's stayed at and continues to store stuff in the house and used the utilities which haven't been disconnected yet. When its all said and done his payout will be close to 6 figures and yet he is still bitter, disappointed, angry and/or resentful.

He went off on another rant on how the family or even some lifetime/'good' friends didn't help him 'enough' during his bankruptcy years. He always had a place to stay, shower, do laundry, store things etc though. Even had his cell phone paid for by others for over a half year which he complained it wasn't a higher end smart phone/plan. He blames everyone else but himself for years of personal issues & bad decisions. If you didn't support 1000% no matter the circumstances you are a family or lifetime friend traitor. For some reason he's always felt he missed or is owed something by the entire extended family and some lifetime friends. Unbelievable.
He sounds like a narcissist, everything is about HIM and the world and its people owe HIM.
 

WhatInThe

Well-known member
Original Poster
He sounds like a narcissist, everything is about HIM and the world and its people owe HIM.
Not only does he whine about the way he gets treated or viewed upon by others mostly with cause it's his constant berating of the deceased parent. The only "financial' decision he pushed the parent to do was to get full renovations instead 'wasting' money on functional/practical repairs. In other words not only was he counting on a cash inheritance he wanted more money out of the house.

The pos apparently was counting on inheritance and I think he started making serious plans for it about 15 years ago which is around the time the parent really started aging/getting sick and some of his financial issues flared up. He's always looked for the big score and think he saw inheritance as it. Knowing richer friends who lost parents didn't help and then when family got a cash settlement for their half a house less than 10 years ago it was blatantly obvious what he was planning.

He needs to remember there are others are part of the estate as well. Unemployed he's even arguing on appointment times to take care of associated business although he's always hated making special trips but he expects others to. It's always about his convenience. The parent let him use the house as a mailing address yet he frequently wanted his mail dropped off to him.

It's frustrating to see him complain about the selling house yet he is still using it and playing the victim for having to pay the bills he's generating other than the deceased debts. He uses it like a second home.
 

WhatInThe

Well-known member
Original Poster
another

Now he's grumbling about family wanting to take some things for themselves for which they and he are allowed. He wants as many items left so a bigger lot of stuff is left to be sold as a lot to a buyer. That and he just wants the entire process done asap so he can get his money. He also wants his friends to handle several item individually. He wants all this control but other than him talking to the lawyer on occasion or maybe more he's done little in that house. He normally a 'delegator' to his own detriment spending himself into at least bankruptcy in the past.
 

toffee

Well-known member
Location
uk
reading these posts does really annoy me some - bloody kids being greedy about the parents money ' how was these kids raised i wonder ? god help my sons if i heard any of this ' respect seems a no go area with most of todays youngsters -but not all pleased to say, nothing worse than greed ' I would say b---off ime leaving it all to a animal home 'and if u need it' go earn it like we did ……………………..
 

Pinky

Well-known member
Location
Toronto
My parents had to work hard to keep a roof over our heads, feed and clothe us kids. We never thought of what would be left to us. It shouldn't be of any concern to adult children,
even if they are named in their parent's Will. As mentioned in the above post .. go earn
your own living and don't be greedy.
 

treeguy64

Hari Om, y'all!
Location
Austin, TX.
I never expected, or received, a penny from my folks, after I graduated from college, plus I worked my way through college, so I didn't need any money from them. I was told not to plan on them ever supporting me (as an adult), when I was still very young, and I took them at their word, with no hard feelings, whatsoever. My daughter does very well, with her family, and she has my business sense, as she is growing her own business, so I don't worry about leaving her anything. If I haven't used up my "millions" on wild living and constant partying (fat chance), I certainly will leave her something in my will, but that has never been my raison d'etre in life.
 

WhatInThe

Well-known member
Original Poster
reading these posts does really annoy me some - bloody kids being greedy about the parents money ' how was these kids raised i wonder ? god help my sons if i heard any of this ' respect seems a no go area with most of todays youngsters -but not all pleased to say, nothing worse than greed ' I would say b---off ime leaving it all to a animal home 'and if u need it' go earn it like we did ……………………..
I agree but sometimes even "adult" children can fall in with the wrong crowd. Apparently here he had enough richer friends in child and adult years where money solved a lot of problems. Money is also party fuel. He never wanted the party to stop. Now as an adult with fading & graying hair he realizes he needs money to maintain his lifestyle which one could say is just as much an addiction as a chemical. He was frequently facilitated or enabled but his peers seemed to grow out of their party phase decades ago. He didn't and before you know it bars, fancy restaurants, cars etc became a daily necessity. Hanging with richer people and trying to justify/rationalize his need for money is contorted because his richer friends have alot of money, he does not and their strategies probably won't work with non millionaires. But so and so said so.
 

WhatInThe

Well-known member
Original Poster
This 'child' is apparently mad the parent's house will be sold and he will have to move stuff he's been storing there since childhood. Apparently he never did a clean out of his things. He also has accumulated alot of stuff as an adult using the house as a second home/storage unit. God forbid he has to rent a storage unit or move into a bigger place. He has a place with spare bedrooms-what the heck.

He also uses the house/address for mail, does personal & work there along with storing a lot of stuff. And of course using it to sleep off a night at a local bar. Yet the same person who couldn't wait to get the house sold and/or have his share bought out is now whining the house will indeed go up for sale.

He'll even get money but I guess he wants free storage cake too.
 
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Patnono

Active member
Location
Whittier,Ca
I use to train as a CNA of Course in a convalescent home. I was told that relatives come to the nursing homes and argue with their parents about money. Some of their adult kids may not realize that when their parents go to live in a convalescent home they become a ward of the state and cannot have Any money, property...in other words DESITUTE. I told my kid's I doubt im leaving anything, caus living in California is expensive. My boyfriends parents said their not leaving Anything, they mean it. They've been going on expensive vacations, new cars, etc. The kids act like their entitled to what WE earned??? It's ours to spend and I'll do just that 🙃
 

Patnono

Active member
Location
Whittier,Ca
I can say having a will does NO good they can be challenged regardless what it says. My ex-husband had a friend who had money and property unfortunately No will, in this case it could have helped the son with Down syndrome? She had 7 kids one of them had Down syndrome because she had No will, her other children had him institutionalized... Money before Family???
 

WhatInThe

Well-known member
Original Poster
I can say having a will does NO good they can be challenged regardless what it says. My ex-husband had a friend who had money and property unfortunately No will, in this case it could have helped the son with Down syndrome? She had 7 kids one of them had Down syndrome because she had No will, her other children had him institutionalized... Money before Family???
Money before family. Yep, I've seen it. Money or the potential for lots of money lets you see people's true colors. And they were probably dropping hints or showing signs their entire life if you think about it.

The adult child here was complaining before the parent was buried about the lack of inheritance, berated them for their finances and lack of a will. Most saw this coming because he was making plans for the house they was going to flip years prior. Unwieldy sense of entitlement for decades. He also expected family to do things for him no questions asked because you were family. Things like drive him and from the bar or not question his drinking.
 

Patnono

Active member
Location
Whittier,Ca
It's such ashame that money is literally destroying Families 😖. My mom thank God has nothing to leave us, their are 8 of us. The thing that will come up is when God decides to take my mom her funeral expensesare being questioned? She's going to be 90 and has dementia. When my father died no one helped me pay for his funeral. I never threw it back at them, but with the possibility of my mom dying? I don't think I should help pay for hers, I'm retired now with several health issues. Don't know how their going to take it???
 

WhatInThe

Well-known member
Original Poster
What a selfish b*tch! That adult child was enabled and spoiled rotten. I hope Karma bites him or her in the a*s!
The parents and others enabled hoping time and age would mature them. It did not. They enabled by not giving notice or confronting the child on various issues especially money like asking for a payment of anykind on borrowed/fronted money-true the child probably couldn't have paid off the debts but by completely ignoring it and not at least having a talk with them the child thought they didn't care or notice. Throw in falling in with the wrong crowd several times including several as a full fledged adult their attitude towards money(a borrowed item like a pen never to be returned) became a way of life. Throw in drug and alcohol abuse among other things the kid is one step above a grifter. What stands out to me is them complaining they have to pay for the funeral, not how will they get the money to pay but the fact they even have to pay for the funeral.
 

WhatInThe

Well-known member
Original Poster
And the waste that accompanies his greed.

Part of the reason he graves money he always wants new/latest and greatest. Only the best for him. Champange taste on a beer budget pure and simple. He wanted all metal in the home thrown into a pile and sold for scrap. Were talking useful items like pots, pans, tools/boxes, cabinets, fans etc, ANYTHING metal, I mean stuff with useful life, not outdated. Even wants some antique or vintage items scrapped that might make more sold as is. He never seemed to mind using or benefiting off many of those items for decades.

Shouldn't be surprised. He loves new and shinny. He says people who take care of and hold on to things for awhile are outdated. 'you have to get with it in modern times'-that rationalizes his behavior. This is the same person with at least one bankruptcy, failed businesses and career and is always looking/plotting for more money. Even his enabling girlfriend calls him out of much of his waste and she's picked up alot of his attitude over the years. He lost other girl friends when he hit her parents up for money under the guise of a business venture.

In the meantime he thinks he's the only one that thinking/doing things right. He's scrapped the advice of a paid family lawyer and now using strategies from bar stool lawyer & accounting friends who undoubtly don't have a full accurate picture.
 

Patio Life

Active member
I have several friends, in their 50s, who are waiting for a parent to die - so they can have all the money. They do as little as possible in the now, just waiting.
All of them have had at least one home purchased outright for them. And bills paid when they cry broke. They brag about their future wealth and what they will do.

When my dad passed away, my mom called all of us kids asking about what to do with all the money she now had. Did we want her to put it away for us? All of us (5 adult kids) told her to spend every dime. She traveled and enjoyed her life. We inherited no money from either parent and are fine.
 

WhatInThe

Well-known member
Original Poster
I have several friends, in their 50s, who are waiting for a parent to die - so they can have all the money. They do as little as possible in the now, just waiting.
All of them have had at least one home purchased outright for them. And bills paid when they cry broke. They brag about their future wealth and what they will do.

When my dad passed away, my mom called all of us kids asking about what to do with all the money she now had. Did we want her to put it away for us? All of us (5 adult kids) told her to spend every dime. She traveled and enjoyed her life. We inherited no money from either parent and are fine.
That's what he did. He was talking about flipping the parent's house years before they passed. He told his siblings the house would have to be treated like a flip to make money? He complained when the parents only got things repaired rather than completely redone. As-is they will make money. He was crying about money before the parents were in the ground saying how unfair it is for the hiers to have to pay for the funeral. He doesn't want to pay money but doesn't seem to mind collecting.

He's constantly complaining about the way the parents handled their finances. Well they didn't declare bankruptcy, have stuff repossessed, lose jobs or couch surf because of the way they handled business. His bar stool buddies get him all ginned up on could've should've.

And yes it is/was the parents right spend their money anyway they want to. He likes to talk about all the technicalities, legalities etc yet doesn't quite understand that the parents are not obligated other than by default to leave or give anything to their children. It's that sense of entitlement that really gets me.

Even guys like Buffet and Gates are only leaving a fraction of their wealth to their children. Sometimes not so rich but successful parents over do it on their adult children ie with insurance policies, accounts, homes, possessions etc. . He has a lot of richer friends(even got mad at them because they wouldn't loan or give him money for his business ideas) that got a lot more than he will get but he won't accept the fact that was for several reasons including more financial success, not more generosity.
 

WhatInThe

Well-known member
Original Poster
We have investigated people who have helped the situation along by murdering their parents to hurry the inheritance payout.
Would not put it past him especially after observing the way he's always angling for money and plotted out other things in his life. In the end it's what ever he can get away with. It's like a Lifetime movie except it's not a movie.
 


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