Adult Kids with Disabilities

P

Patnono

Member
Location
Whittier,Ca
Does anyone have adult kids with disabilities? I have 2 with deslexia 1 of them I was told would not be employable. She is 35 at 6th grade learning level only working PT. She’s dependent on me to live. I don’t give her money, the other daughters is mild and is doing well. I’m retired with health issues Diabetes and also a blind disease immaculate degenerate. Living on social security and savings which is running low. Because of her disability she’s hard to get through too. Does anyone know of any organizations that can help with this?
 

RadishRose said:
Pat, we helped you with this already. Here is the thread:

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/help-for-learning-disabled-daughter.45497/
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RadishRose said:
Pat, we helped you with this already. Here is the thread:

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/help-for-learning-disabled-daughter.45497/
Click to expand...
Sorry, I’m not doing well emotionally
Forgot what I’ve written about this.
Patnono said:
Does anyone have adult kids with disabilities? I have 2 with deslexia 1 of them I was told would not be employable. She is 35 at 6th grade learning level only working PT. She’s dependent on me to live. I don’t give her money, the other daughters is mild and is doing well. I’m retired with health issues Diabetes and also a blind disease immaculate degenerate. Living on social security and savings which is running low. Because of her disability she’s hard to get through too. Does anyone know of any organizations that can help with this?
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As well as our three birth daughters, we have two adopted sons, the older one, now 47, has moderate learning difficulties, the younger one, nearly 35, has Down's Syndrome. The older one is in sheltered housing, the younger one is in an excellent care home where he is very happy.
 
pleinmont said:
As well as our three birth daughters, we have two adopted sons, the older one, now 47, has moderate learning difficulties, the younger one, nearly 35, has Down's Syndrome. The older one is in sheltered housing, the younger one is in an excellent care home where he is very happy.
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Thanks for sharing, it’s that she’s out in the real world and makes mistakes that I end up having to help fix. This is very stressful for me don’t know what’s coming? People give her incorrect information sometimes
 
I guess the pressing question here is, what is the long-term plan? None of us can count on sufficiently good health to lend assistance to another, and we sure don't live forever.

How is this daughter going to survive without your help, and what are you doing now to transition her to that eventuality? Will her sister pick up the burden of her care?

You say you don't give her money - how are she and her child surviving in So Cal on part-time work? Are you picking up all the rent? What will happen to them when you are no longer able to do this?

IMHO it's well past time to work with government agencies to see if she can qualify for Section 8 housing, a group home, or another safety net. I know you don't want to imagine that she'll end up homeless, but that's what's happening to a lot of people in her situation who haven't set things up in advance. They're one disaster away from eviction and living on the streets. Sorry to say, your daughter appears to be in that very situation right now.
 
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Years ago when our oldest son rode the little yellow bus to school we had the same concern about what will happen to him when we aren't alive to care for his needs. With that concern we spent our time helping him get to where he could function & get a job he was capable of doing.

From that he was able to improve & now at age 55 he owns his own condo, has a retirement portfolio that puts capable people to shame. Our early fear of what will happen is no more. We recognized & early on did what we thought would help him.

He has two brothers that would have watched out for him but that isn't necessary. As parents that didn't have the kind of government support systems that are in place now we are happy we dedicated our selves to doing what he needed.
 
Knight said:
Years ago when our oldest son rode the little yellow bus to school we had the same concern about what will happen to him when we aren't alive to care for his needs. With that concern we spent our time helping him get to where he could function & get a job he was capable of doing.

From that he was able to improve & now at age 55 he owns his own condo, has a retirement portfolio that puts capable people to shame. Our early fear of what will happen is no more. We recognized & early on did what we thought would help him.

He has two brothers that would have watched out for him but that isn't necessary. As parents that didn't have the kind of government support systems that are in place now we are happy we dedicated our selves to doing what he needed.
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How Wonderful for your son and family, I’ve been trying to get her government help since she was 18. She’s 35 now about 3 years ago she finally did get assistance. When she was first diagnosed I was told she would be Unemployable, I was Devastated, I refused to accept this. She has been working since she was 16. I kept working with her since. I have to admit I was protective of her at times. My youngest daughter had the same disability not as severe. Last year obtained her Bachelors Degree. So I’ve learned to Never give up. Thank you for a successful story, I m sure he has nothing but continued Sucess in the Future 😊
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StarSong said:
I salute you, @Knight. Your son is a lucky man to have been born into your family.
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It might have been genetics that showed up in our 1st born. My youngest brother was slow not retarded which was the case with our son. The difference I think is my parents kept my brother "protected" so there was no social interaction or exposing him to jobs. IMO they were trying to do what they thought was best but were harming him. I ended up being responsible for getting him the help he needed to survive on his own. I intentionally said survive since living his best life wasn't possible after years of being hidden.
 
@Knight, I have known families who took strategies similar to your parents' and some who took yours. The results for the child and family were about as you described.

That's why, in my earlier post, I said that I salute you.
 
Patnono said:
Does anyone have adult kids with disabilities? I have 2 with deslexia 1 of them I was told would not be employable. She is 35 at 6th grade learning level only working PT. She’s dependent on me to live. I don’t give her money, the other daughters is mild and is doing well. I’m retired with health issues Diabetes and also a blind disease immaculate degenerate. Living on social security and savings which is running low. Because of her disability she’s hard to get through too. Does anyone know of any organizations that can help with this?
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My adult daughter has been on disabillity for 15 yrs because of an immune disorder and bipolar. Her son was homeschooled a few years before getting his GED, but has bipolar and some social anxiety so part-time work is all he is able to handle right now.
My husband and i provide alot of emotional and financial support. I love them dearly but it can be emotionally draining at times. I'm sure alot of seniors are dealing with the same problems.
 
Rosemarie said:
Yes, I thought it seemed familiar. Obviously her situation hasn't improved. There are so many people out there struggling because of their isolation. When people live in small communities, they help each other out. In cities, no-one seems to care.
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I disagree with this, @Rosemarie, having lived for long periods in very small towns and then in large neighborhood suburbs. (Pat and I live in fairly similar LA suburbs, neither of us is anywhere near downtown LA.).

People are the same everywhere; some are deeply caring, some less so. To have friends one must be a friend. To get support one must also sometimes provide support. Since folks aren't gossiping about each other's lives, when we need help we must also be willing to explain our situation, and then follow through on advice lest folks feel like they're wasting their breath.

In urban and suburban settings people aren't all up in your business and don't know the specifics of your life unless you share them. But please don't confuse that with being uncaring.
 


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