Adult Niece's Unacceptable Behavior

I have had a close relationship with my niece since the day she was born. But today I'm ticked off because she's still declining my dinner invitations, insisting that with working full-time, caring for her baby & her household chores, it's too hard for them to come for dinner. Yet she & her husband make weekend plans with their friends & take time off work for long-weekend trips, with the baby, to visit college friends. I last heard from her weeks ago, when she said, we have to get together, because they still have my Christmas gift (I made sure she, her husband & the baby got their gifts) but with her busy schedule she wasn't able to set a date.

Yesterday I tried again inviting them to my home for dinner some weekend this summer & she sends me a text saying their summer weekends are booked up until after Labor Day! I've only seen the baby twice since he was born eight months ago. Her repeated excuses upset me (they don't seem to bother her Dad) & I know this wouldn't be happening if her mother was still alive. What's an Aunt to do?
Hi, i would let your niece know your feelings, it's down to her after that, jmho. Richie
 
My sons never come by anymore, they invite me to their houses when they have time. I usually get an invite to the grandkids birthdays and on holidays. Everyone else I cared about are dead. I miss our family stuff but that is over and done. I am sad sometimes but there are lonely people everywhere. Guess finding other company is what we need. Doesn't help either when people mention they haven't seen anyone at my house in a long time. People have no filters they just blab things out. Why are they watching my house anyway? Grr!

Young people would rather be around their own friends. so it's not unusual to be left out. At least your niece indicated the desire to get together. I would take that to mean she is stretched pretty thin with a job, a husband and a baby. Sometimes husbands demand as much time as the babies do, and depending upon what her job is, she may have to put in extra hours there.

My youngest son has a demanding wife where they have to be going somewhere every weekend. It's a status thing with her I think. I'm not going to involve myself in that. My oldest son is laid up with an injury, I think I could go over for a visit this weekend. I doubt he and his wife have plans, and we'll have something to talk about. I'll have to ask though, That's how it goes, got to take what you get and let the rest alone. Doesn't help knowing you're yesterday's meatloaf though. That's tough getting used to. Can't say I'm there yet.
 

That's the thing people's schedules and priorities are different and all parties need to understand that. This is why the perfunctory family gathering have little to no meaning anymore because they people come out of obligation and habit, not because they want to. Over time this wears and becomes apparent. I think it's better when you see or talk to people in non holiday or formal settings. Like many things family get togethers are just a show sometimes just to keep up with the Jones-Oh what did you do over the holiday-blah blah blah.
 
That's how I feel too WIT. My son, his wife and I had a nice relaxed visit Sunday. He got to tell me how he shoved his own kneecap back into place, not once but twice(!)... and everything else that went on afterward. I got to tell his wife not to do everything for him plus got to see the grandkids. Two hours we caught up, and I left. Nice.
 
I would not give her the time of day. If I have to beg someone or stoop to their level I would rather not have them as a friend if that's what you even call them.
 


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