An On Going Journey In Texas

Hello GeorgiaXplant,
I am so sorry for the pain you have endured, and I hope that I can live up to your example of a true lady. May the Creator make me so.

I hope I can be as strong as so many of our SF friends are. And I wishes to extend my appreciating to all here for your support. Every one of you has extended so much good advise, and it has been a saving grace to me.
:praying::praying::praying:
 

Ina, it's nice that you got out to the mall and did a little something for yourself. Hopefully the gal did a good job with your trim, if you wanted more of a change there's always next time. :) All my haircuts are in the $15 dollar range, so the cost is rarely over $20 with the tip. I go to places like Cost Cutters, Great Clips, Classic Cuts....not sure if you have those places in Texas. Hope you're having a good day, always thinking of you. :love_heart:
 
Ina said:
All of you are sweet friends. I guess one of the first things I realized was that the world wasn't going to stop, and let me off.
Today I went to one of Houston's largest malls to get my hair styled. A girl took me to wash my hair, and then she turned me over to a stylist. This lady was 56, I asked her to give a style that wound suit my face. In short time she was done, the cost $72.00. It looks the same as it did before, except for the trim. I asked her what about the styling? She said the way it was, was the right style.
I walk around the mall for a couple hours. Being someplace where no one knew me was refreshing. I didn't have to talk to anyone about my how my life is. That was a releaf.
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I think that sometimes they do not want to cut much off when a person has long hair, because they can be sued if they cut off too much hair and you are upset.
I usually cut my own hair (free), but when I have gone to have mine cut, I went to the beauty school where it was cheaper than a regular beauty salon.
I have found that if you look for a style that you like and then show them a picture and say "this is exactly what I want it to look like", then they can look at the picture and cut it that way for you.
 

I have always been an early riser, but since Michael died, I've been waking around 5:00am. Now I go to bed around 8:00pm, watch TV untill 12: or 1:00am, then I can nod off for a few hours.

I will be having a get together after the memorial for those that wish to attend. So, major cleaning is happening in this old cabin. The cabin is now my living room, and it is 25'x26'. My whole house is just under 2500 sq., and the only sheetrock is in the bathroom and utility rooms, so of course all the walls are wood.

Today I will using floor wax to clean my walls. I know most people don't wash thier walls anymore, but our logs were never squared off. The old logs still have thier rounded form, and the logs collect a lot of dust. I have been cleaning them every six months since the 80's, and I don't see me quiting now. The logs are of red pine, and you don't see them around here anymore.

I need to go and purchase a better ladder. My family do not want to take any chances of falling, but no one is volunteering to help with cleaning. When my father-in-law died in '91, I cleaned my mother-in-law's house twice a week for two years, and never missed a day at my job. But it isn't as if I don't have the time.

I know I am rambling, so I truly hope I can find some activities to keep me busy. It is funny that after retiring in Oct. of 2007, we were trying our best to lounge around, and just be farmers. That was something we could do at our leisure.
 
You're not rambling Ina, you're just writing down the thoughts as they come into your mind...absolutely nothing wrong with that..this is YOUR dairy after all, and that's what it's for.. xx
 
I thought about you today, Ina. By now Michael's service is over and you've said your goodbyes. For me, it was a space of three weeks between the time my Joe died and his memorial service and a vast relief when it was finally over with. I can't explain that feeling. Not glad, certainly, but relieved.
 
Hello diary,
Well this is the day after Michael's memorial, and I am as pooped as I've ever been.

I spent three day from sunrise to sunset cleaning this old cabin. I didn't realize just how much this old place needed a deep deep cleaning. Because of Michael's COPD I had stoped using many of the cleaning supplies I normally used. When you consider this old home is around 2500 sq. ft., and all the hardwood floors, plus all the log and paneled walls, it does take a lot of effort to clean it with pledge floor wax. Then there is all the antique wooden furniture. But it did consume most of my thoughts, and it helped me get through this difficult time. Now I don't have anything to do for awhile.

Yesterday I was up at 4:00am. doing last minute stuff until 12:30pm, then I had to shower and dress for the memorial. At 3:30pm. about 35 to 40 people were at our home for a repass of drinks and food. I served seafood gumbo, chilli, ham and eggs salad sandwiches, and two large red velvet cakes with white chocolate icing, and for drinks there were ice tea, sodas, and coffee. I also served Southern Comfort to those that wished. It was Michael's favorite sipping alcohol.

The last guest left around 9:00pm.

So I'm totally pooped, and I've been nervously fidgeting around most of this day.

:holymoly:
 
Hi Ina! Sounds like you had a big job with the cleaning, but I bet it looks very nice. I love log cabins and hardwood floors, nice feel to them. I can understand your being pooped, you've been taking care of a lot of things, despite your sadness for Michael. I hope you can get some much needed rest, and have a better tomorrow. Take good care of yourself.

Butterfly-HUgs-.jpg
 
Well I guess I've jumped back into learning mode. There seems to be 101 things to do when a spouse leaves us. Yesterday I went our banking institute, and I closed out our joint accounts, and I had to open new ones for myself. Now other than withdrawing cash, I have to tell all creditors they have to wait until my new checks and banking card arrive in 7 to 10 days.

Michael's death certificate came through yesterday as well, so I will be heading to the SS office at 7:00am on Tuesday. I've heard so many theories I don't know what will the outcome of that. I am already on disability, and I have medicare as of the first of this year.

I will be traveling to Alabama to visit HappyflowerLady in the spring. So I will be putting myself and Izzy through some behavioral dog training classes. Because Izzy had to have three cataract eye surgeries before he was even 14 months old, I didn't push the early training that most of my furbabies recieved.

Michael left a list of things I needed to do for myself, and one of those was to purchase another vehicle. As it turns out, I can buy a new 2014 SUV for between 13 and $14,000 here in Texas right now. So Izzy and I will be driving to HFL's.

I will also be signing myself up for a couple of computer usage courses. It has been over 10 years since I took any courses on the subject. I went through 19 years of college, but computer were not my easiest subject. But as I really love to study, I should do ok.

One more day without my dear Michael.
 
You are doing sooooo well, Ina; the pain eventually lessens, the memories never do.
glad you are going to visit HFL...somebody to help you along a little.
 
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Very encouraging see how you are getting along Ina. Glad to see you getting on so well though I know the pain is still there. Michael for sure smiling on you with pride.
 
Sea,
That was all good advice, and most of it was provided by the funeral director or the city credit union, our banking institute. I think the best advice came from several SF members. Which was to be kind to myself. And go at an even pace. :wave:
 
Thank you Meanderer (Jim) for your kind words. I am trying to make Michael proud by doing what I know he would want.

My husband was an amazing man. He must have known that I was going to be confused by all this change. I didn't go to the Social Security office today, but I will be going at 8:am. in the morning. Today I ended up at his pension office to take them a death certificate. What I wasn't expecting was that in November Michael had taking steps to to set me up for his pension. I get the same amount monthly as he got. He took care of me for over 47 years, and it seems he still is.

I found a dog trainer that will help me and my little 8 pound chorkie monster. Because Izzy had three cataract surgeries by his 14th month, I wasn't able to give him his proper training. This trainer trains her six show dogs, so she doesn't keep an office, but she will be coming to my home every week for 8 weeks for our one on one training. Believe it or not the cost is only $350.
 
How are you doing, Ina? I remember finding myself kind of all at sea in the first months after Joe died, so if you're feeling a bit scattered maybe that's the way it is with new widows/widowers.

I'm glad you have Izzy for company and comfort. Has he had his first lesson from the dog trainer yet?
 
Good morning, Ina. Are you okay? After Joe's funeral when all was said and done and everybody gone back to their daily lives, nobody ever asked me. They'd say how sorry they were, tell me how "strong" I was, but never asked if I was okay. I hope you're getting used to your new normal. It takes a while. I've been thinking of you.
 
Thank you Jim, GeorgiaX, and AprilT too,
I had no idea just how much was involved in the death of a spouse. Although my family try to call every so often, no one has offered to help me with the tasks concerning Michael's affairs. I feel like a bouncing ball. I get one thing done, and another always seems to pop up.

I went three different times to the Social Security office, before I got that all straightened out. Two days at the bank. It is one month after Michael's death, and his life insurance is just now saying they are reveiwing his case.

I went to the doctor's office on the 26th. They want $800. to do tests on my heart, and they are talking nitro gleseren (Sp?) tablets.

I took Izzy in to his vet for yearly shots. The next day he went to the groomer's to make him all presentable. The following day his new trainer started training Izzy and me. He did every well with the sit, and we are working on come. I need to get him a crate so I can start feeding him in it. We want him to be comfortable in the crate, so he can travel to Alabama with me in April.

I went to get my car inspected, and it would not pass, so I went to my mechanic. They told me that it was the catalytic converter, and the brain governing that. That came to $1995.00. Even though I am giving the "05 Ford Explorer to my brother, he can not afford the repairs. He only gets just over $13,000.00 a year. I bought the car in June of 2012 for $4800., and last September, we put $4,000. into the engine, and now with this last repair, I have just under $11,000.00 in the vehicle.

I've been doing some gardening. I have been propagating the wild bulb plants I find out in the back area by the pond. So I decided to plant some yellow and pink Dinnerplate dahlias, some 28" mixed Dahlia Border bulbs, and some red and yellow/red gladiolus, followed by lots of golden daylilies. As they start growing well, I will transfer them around the two thirds of an acre that I am keeping for my on use after I sell the four and one third acres with a 2000 sq. ft., four bedroom home with a two story metal barn. It looks like I will have it sold by April.

So I'm tired. :chores::fingerscrossed:
 
Hi Ina, sounds about right that things don't go nearly as smooth as they should, but I'm glad you dealing with everything so well, one step at a time. That's a very expensive car repair for sure, can't believe how much money you've had to put into the car already! I bet Izzy looks cute with his new haircut, nice that he's learning the commands. Good luck with the sale of your house and land. Cool that you've been doing some gardening, I have a black thumb, not much luck with plants or flowers. Good to hear from you, I think of you often. :)
 
How many Texans does it take to transplant a Dahlia Border bulb? :) The answer: One named Ina! God bless you Ina in the days and weeks ahead! -Jim

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Thanks Sea and Jim, I'll take all the encouragement I can get. At least I stopped crying for awhile. I've lost 18 pounds since Michael passed, and I'm sure much of it was tears. The rest came off with my Gazelle Glider I'm sure.
 
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