Anybody have any wild and crazy family stories to relate?

G

GeorgiaXplant

Well-known Member
Location
Georgia
You know, the kind that wouldn't be on Jerry Springer because they're too wild and crazy?

Cousins who ran away and joined the circus? Brothers/sisters who forgot to divorce their spouse(s) and remarried? Relatives whose family gatherings are not-to-be-missed social events because you'd miss the next bizarre happening?

Do tell...
 

I never had a Jerry Springer family, but there were a couple of “characters".

I had an uncle who was somewhat of a drifter (and womanizer). He’s long gone, but I remember some stories.

He lived in various states and worked at various types of jobs. When I was in high school I remember once when my mom wasn’t home and I took a call from a woman saying she was a nun and that she was quite concerned about him. She left her phone number. When I gave the message to my mom and stepdad I saw some eyerolling.

Every few years he showed up he would stay with my grandparents or one of the aunts/uncles who were still speaking to him. When some relatives saw him coming (or got a warning call from someone) they would turn down TV, dim lights and :hide:

I remember once he was staying with an aunt whose husband was in Vietman. Shady uncle asked to use her car to go run some errands, and (you guessed it)…….never came back (until several years later) and the car was long gone. He had wild stories about hanging out with famous people, and how he “helped” so many people out. :yeahright: But after he left there were calls and mail from bill collectors. :lame:
 
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I had a cousin who was rather well-endowed. She was called Cousin Patsy Tripletits.

Surprisingly, none of my 13 brothers or sisters has done anything really newsworthy, at least so far.

Also had an uncle who met a long-legged, blonde hardbod, 30 years younger than he, while on a sNOwbird jaunt with my aunt to Padre Island, Texas. He sent my aunt home, went off to Mexico and got a quickie divorce, then married the young lovely. Only stayed that way for less than a year before getting another quickie divorce in Mexico and going back home to my aunt. They remarried and stayed that way for many years until they both died of old age.
 

My ex-wife who is a Marxist arranged unbeknownst to me for my 14 year old son to attend a young Marxist rally in North Korea. Afterwards when I questioned the wisdom of this folly, my ex-wife argued that it would look good on his résumé.
 
Holy crap! One hopes that you learned that she was a Marxist AFTER you married her:)

Look good on his resume? How? And did it not occur to your ex that it would NOT look good on YOUR resume?
 
My half sister was wild and crazy, I say was,as she passed away 9 years ago at 50 years of age ,from a blood related cancer which according to the doctors was more than likely caused by her drug abuse.
She spent time in prison,I was never told why and I never asked,,
She would go to car yard and ask to take a car for a test drive and never return,She would at times turn up in my drive way tooting the horn in the Stolen" car ..
She had a child at 15, which she told me about a week before her death, ( I already knew, but I was not living in SA at the time she had the child) I felt really sad for her on her death bed she was trying to trace the child a girl, and she discovered the hospital had a record of the birth, but no record of the child ever being adopted out, It's a mystery where the child went..?
As she was taken "home" a week after her birth.( She told me who the father was it was a case of family sexual assault)
Her twin sister organised for her not to have a funeral as she was allegedly married to someone in (Western Australia)at the time of her death (Passed away in S.A) and she requested he not be notified ( we never knew him as I don't think she had been with him long)
 
I forgot about my sister, who cherishes money and Things. Some years ago she was divorcing her second husband, and she asked one of our brothers to go to court with her for moral support. Our brother related the events of the divorce hearing. The judge said that since our sister couldn't agree on a division of property with her soon-to-be-ex, everything they owned had to be sold and the proceeds split 50/50. Our sister piped up and declared "I'll have it all or I'll have nothing!" Said the judge, "So ordered. Divorce granted."

She and her first and second husbands had no children.

She's divorced her third husband twice and remarried him twice. They have two grown children. For the time being, they are married...
 
I have a cousin who was a capo for the Lucchese family. The family decided that, because of a 1991 guilty plea in a RICO case he might turn, so they tried to kill him. In an attempt to keep him from becoming an informant, Gaspipe Casso ordered him killed. He was shot 12 times by Little Al D'Arco but he managed to survived. Since his wife and family were also threatened (something that was normally forbidden in the mafia) he became a government witness; he and his family were put into the witness protection. In 1997 he also testified against the Genovese family.
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
I forgot about my sister, who cherishes money and Things. Some years ago she was divorcing her second husband, and she asked one of our brothers to go to court with her for moral support. Our brother related the events of the divorce hearing. The judge said that since our sister couldn't agree on a division of property with her soon-to-be-ex, everything they owned had to be sold and the proceeds split 50/50. Our sister piped up and declared "I'll have it all or I'll have nothing!" Said the judge, "So ordered. Divorce granted."

She and her first and second husbands had no children.


She's divorced her third husband twice and remarried him twice. They have two grown children. For the time being, they are married...
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So your sister said "I'll have it all or nothing" and so ended up with nothing. That must have humbled her a bit?
 
Josiah...humbled? Certainly not! She's still incensed about it after all these years. After all, it wasn't HER fault that she got nothing; it was the unfair judge's fault.

Shirley, what? No discount for friends?
 
DoIt’s story reminded me of another one.

When I still lived in my hometown one of my brothers was a close friend of the guy who lived a few houses down the street. Nice kid, but he exaggerated’ a lot.

For example, he said he was dating a Playboy bunny (who we never met).

When the first Godfather movie came out in 1972, he was about 19 yrs old and he was completely entranced, and talked about it a lot (he often was at our house for dinner). Soon he ‘confided’ that he worked for a Mafia Don but couldn’t reveal the name. He really got into character – wore a hat similar to a Fedora with a brim, often looked to the left and right nervously as he left the house, and said he had a Maserati that he had to keep in an undisclosed location. (Meanwhile he drove a battered pickup truck). Kinda funny, but also pathetic. :rolleyes:
 
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Well. About 30 years ago,my niece married her boyfriend of about four years-she was 18,he was 32. My brother had found out about their relationship early on and flipped out so they were forbidden to see each other but did it on the sly anyway. Of course,once she turned 18,there was nothing he could do. I took some time,but after their son was born,he accepted him. Then my brother`s first wife (said niece`s mom) ended up falling in love with her son in law`s brother and they married. He was the younger brother of her son in law-so daughter was married to older brother,mom was married to younger brother,and they both got pregnant and had babies one month apart. Then my niece and husband moved to a hippie town just north of me and opened a bookstore. She became involved in community theater and met a guy and she ende up "marrying" him as well-not legally,of course,but in some kind of hippie ceremony. The three of them lived happily together on their mountaintop until about four years ago when she and "hubby" #2 broke up and then she and hubby #1 divorced. She then had a new boyfriend move in,that lasted about a year,and now she has a new man-the "love of her life". She sold the mountain house and is moving to the coast with her new love. We shall see. Oh,mom and brother in law divorced years ago,when their daughter was very,very young-he turned out to be an abusive guy.
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
DoIt...my goodness! Shot 12 times and lived to tell about it! Are they still in witness protection?
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He was brought out of the witness protection program in 1997 to testify in the Genovese RICO trial, and that's the last I ever heard anything about them. He was/is 4 years older than I am so he may very well have since died.
He was morbidly obese-somewhere around 450 pounds or more. In an odd twist of fate, it was all the excess fat that saved him when he was shot 12 times.
 
This is an old thread revived because I find it interesting .
My husband’s great grandfather was a doctor. He became a doctor by walking on the beach, finding a chest of doctors books and equipment so read the books and appointed himself a doctor. He became the town doctor.
 
My dad had a married cousin who was messin' around with a married woman, whose husband promptly shot him dead.

Come the funeral, the cousin's wife (who was a big ol' country gal) was escorted into the church and seated in the front row. Just as the funeral started, the girlfriend entered the church, dressed in black with a long black veil, and sat about half-way down the aisle.

The funeral started and the girlfriend started mourning...."Oh Bud, you were too good for this earth! Oh Bud, the Lord always takes the good ones! Oh Bud, what am I going to do without you?"

Bud's wife stood up, flipped back her veil, walked down the aisle and snatched the girlfriend out of the pew. She knelt on her, grabbed her hair and proceeded to bang her head on the floor. HARLOT!! HARLOT!!"

I was about 4 or so and vividly remember standing up on the pew while my mother was trying to pull me down and seeing the wife's dress flipped up from her exertions and her very large very girdled rear end up in the air as she pummeled the girlfriend.

After the initial shock wore off, several male relatives pulled her off and got her back into her front pew. They hustled the girlfriend out the doors. The funeral proceeded.

This a good reason why my family does.not.have.funerals.
 
Keesha said:
This is an old thread revived because I find it interesting .
My husband’s great grandfather was a doctor. He became a doctor by walking on the beach, finding a chest of doctors books and equipment so read the books and appointed himself a doctor. He became the town doctor.
Click to expand...

That seems to have been common back then. I had a great uncle who was a lawyer. He never even graduated from high school but "read law" with a local lawyer and then hung up a shingle and practiced "country law".

They were probably as good doctors and lawyers as those who went to school.
 
Josiah said:
So your sister said "I'll have it all or nothing" and so ended up with nothing. That must have humbled her a bit?
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It is NEVER a good idea to pop off to a judge! We once had a client who was prone to outbursts. I had to go along with the trial team every day to court and it was my job to keep him from doing it -- I'm sure his shins were black and blue from my kicking him under the table every time it looked like he was going to open his big fat mouth. And there was one client who called the judge a stupid b*tch in open court. That did NOT go down well -- got him some extra months at sentencing plus a stint for contempt.
 
All that I can say is that our family, all with gray hair at this point has had more Springeresk drama in their latter years than many younger immature 20-30 year old adults experience much earlier. Family politics have made things extremely dicey for everyone. Some have already cut off all conversation and communication even at funerals or in hospitals.
 
Started a relationship with my next door neighbor who is 35 years younger than me. Prior to that, I never dreamed or even considered of being with a guy more than 2 years younger. We are now engaged and planning to get married in the summer.
 
Wild and crazy family ? I'm thinking my Mom came from a family of 11,my Dad a family of 8. I must have over 80 first cousins because my Mom's brothers were very busy having many wives and children. Did I mention my family is also Italian, so you know many many crazy things went on.:yes::pepper::pepper:
 

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