Anyone Else Love Someone on the Autism Spectrum?

fureverywhere

fureverywhere

beloved friend who will always be with us in spiri
Location
Northern NJ, USA
This isn't meant to be a serious thread really. You have to find humor in any situation. My family has a bunch of jokes about being "special"..." Oh there's the short bus!"..." Do the dog voice, do the radio dial voice, do the radio voice, do the tire voice, do the squirrel voice, do the..." and yes we can laugh. An explanation behind those two references. Regular school bus are big, the transportation for special needs is half that size. Oh and one of my girl's favorite things is pretending to give things voices. N' you know I'm a pretty creative writer, so yes I can give the radio dial some interesting dialogue.

I was just reading a book by parents of kids on the spectrum. One mom was talking about making an escalator cake. When her son was young his thing was escalators...so an escalator themed birthday...PERFECT. I smiled remembering my daughter it was the refrigerators at Best Buy. If she got lost I always knew where she would go after the video games. I remember you had to go to each one and open all the doors. If we missed one we had to go back. Then there was a game where she would put keys in a drawer and I'd have to pretend to look for it...in each fridge. I have to hand it to the salespeople though.

We were there almost every day and some of them knew her by name. The guy at the mobile phone counter was sweet. She would sit and chat there quite often. One day he gave her a promotion t shirt and she was so proud wearing that. It was easier when she was small. But even now, you'd be amazed how many people step up to bat to make her happy. You still get the pity stare sometimes. Oh and nevermind temper tantrums in pubic eeesh. But at Target where they happen most often...once again security and sales have gotten friendly with her so they let me handle it.

To onlookers it almost looks like two adults going at it...she's taller than me now. But it doesn't happen very often and I've learned to appreciate what she can do, not so much worrying about what she can't.
 

No, I don't know anyone who is autistic. I think you would have to have a sense of humor for survival. It's how I deal a lot also.

((((((big hugs))))) for being a loving mom
 
A funny story...one day we were at Game Stop. There were a bunch of teen boys playing the demos and she wanted to play. They decided to be nice and let the little kid have a try. It was Mortal Kombat and she beat the pants off these guys, you should have seen the disbelief on their faces, it was priceless. Did I mention she has two big brothers?
 

Fur, sounds like you are a great mom! I think humour is a good way to deal with it.

I really admire my hubby's cousin who has a son who is autistic. In his 20's now and his parents get him into every programme available and he seems to enjoy himself. He can't have a conversation but will use a few words. His parents are very patient and do everything possible to give him a quality of life.
 
oohjarwatsit said:
Asperger's syndrome can be a big plus for helping a person to get on in life.
Click to expand...

Please explain how? I do know autistic young people and their parents and an aquaintance who is majoring in the treatment of autistic disorders. They are painfully aware of the differences between themselves and others who do not have borderline personality disorders. It causes much conflict and personal pain for these individuals. A sense of humor may help the parents. So far, I haven't seen it help the autistic.
 
My oldest son is on the spectrum. He is intellectually functional (quite brilliant, actually), but he is what you might call "quirky". Not the word I would think of when he was young and demonstrating some very bizarre behaviors. And it was far from quirky when he talked about suicide at the age of five. Forty years ago, his doctor couldn't tell me what was *wrong* with him, but he could tell me there wasn't any treatment for it. However, that doctor, an angel named Dr. Stone, was very reassuring. And it might have simply been only in his tone, but I determined to keep my son at home, and basically let him (my son) teach me how to help him become a man.

He and I both know now that he falls somewhere on the autism spectrum, but neither of us concern ourselves with where on the spectrum. Today, he is 42, and doing very well. He's married to a woman who understands his "quirks", and actually finds some of them charming; like when he has to touch the head of any nail he sees sticking out from a wall, or won't hold a sandwich in his hands...it has to be propped up on the back of his fingers while he eats it. Because he is brilliant at math, he earns six-figures as a metals construction engineer. But when he has to take time off from work due to sensory overload, for as long as two months, again, his wife is very understanding. She knows he'll go back to work when he feels "empty enough" (his words). And she wouldn't mind if he stopped working altogether.

He's successful, but more importantly to me, he's happy and he's very loved.
And an aside to Chic - he has a great sense of humor, which has helped him get through some really rough times. In fact, he is the most quick-witted man I know. :love_heart:
 
chic said:
Please explain how? I do know autistic young people and their parents and an aquaintance who is majoring in the treatment of autistic disorders. They are painfully aware of the differences between themselves and others who do not have borderline personality disorders. It causes much conflict and personal pain for these individuals. A sense of humor may help the parents. So far, I haven't seen it help the autistic.
Click to expand...

Providing the person with autism is highly intelligent like Bill Gates who apparently has the condition it can be an advantage, as I know from personal experience. Two close relatives have it and it has severed them well.
 
Something I was thinking about last night. In some ways my girl might be luckier than some "normal" kids. She doesn't realize she has a disability. I'm sure that gives her more confidence. She talks a mile a minute and our schools have terrific special ed programs. She has friends, a blessing, I get some peace from the Shopkins chatter.

Something else too...imagine if you lived in a bubble. But you didn't know that. Elections, taxes, terrorism, all the things we stress about weren't there. All you had to do was remember bits and pieces of the past and live fully in each day. We think of it as a disability but maybe she has the advantage over those of us stressing ourselves silly.
 
My lovely Grandson is autistic ( and very intelligent) but life is so difficult for him.We don't know what the future holds, or if he will ever be able to work or have a relationship.He attends a wonderful school and has loving parents and we help as well, but it's so hard for parents.He does have a sense of humour though, and I feel he will need it.
 
I'm sorry oakapple, but I commend you being supportive. My Dad never quite grasped what was up with her. In the past he'll go on tirades of she doesn't need special school, if I just worked with her and gave her extra tutoring she'd fly right. Yup Dad, gotcha...You should hear the two of them together. He kind of talks at her. The usually things you would say to a kid almost in high school. How are your classes? What are you studying now? Oh Egypt? Ask your mother about when we went in to see the King Tut exhibit now I read something new about Cleopatra the other day very interesting that they just uncovered...

Emmy is looking at him totally clueless. Then she starts her own conversation about her new Monster High doll and Season five Shopkins might be coming out soon and Callie was really cute this morning, he's still talking she's talking...neither one is listening but hey it works.
 
Bill Gates? HE has autism?...I mean there's high functioning, but f'real? Then again Asperger's is a horse of a different color, but still on the spectrum. But no I didn't know that.
 
OCD is considered an anxiety disorder so is not autism. Although someone with autism can have it. I feel the repetitive behavior of autism can come from trying to keep order as one understands it. Best buddy's nephew had a thing for following lines. They wanted him to be in a wedding. Try as they might he was not going to walk down the aisle carrying the rings. Then someone had a light bulb moment. They put a length of cord down the aisle. He was thrilled to have a line to follow and did a great job. I know such things sound wacko if you've never lived with it, but you do adjust.
 
fureverywhere said:
OCD is considered an anxiety disorder so is not autism. Although someone with autism can have it. I feel the repetitive behavior of autism can come from trying to keep order as one understands it. Best buddy's nephew had a thing for following lines. They wanted him to be in a wedding. Try as they might he was not going to walk down the aisle carrying the rings. Then someone had a light bulb moment. They put a length of cord down the aisle. He was thrilled to have a line to follow and did a great job. I know such things sound wacko if you've never lived with it, but you do adjust.
Click to expand...
Thank you for answering my question. I really do not know who they can find to judge what wacko is ..but it won't be me. I'm a very odd person.
 
fureverywhere said:
Bill Gates? HE has autism?...I mean there's high functioning, but f'real? Then again Asperger's is a horse of a different color, but still on the spectrum. But no I didn't know that.
Click to expand...

Autism does not always include decreased cognitive function, however, disrupted cognitive function is always present. My son had problems in school - his teachers assumed he wasn't paying attention because he didn't make eye contact and didn't seem to be attentive at all. But when tested, it turned out he not only heard every word, he had perfect recall. He could remember the most inconsequential stuff, things his teacher just said in passing. The school went from recommending "special school" to "Special School" after he was tested. lol

I did not send him to the school for gifted children, as they recommended, because he was so backward socially and emotionally, was so very happy at his school, and looked forward to seeing his classmates every day. And he tended to become dangerously depressed quite easily. I was concerned it would do more harm than good to change schools at that point.

He was very destructive with his toys - taking them apart and experimenting with them. But I saw that as a positive thing. The wisest purchase I ever made was this big box of Legos that I got him for Christmas one year. Playing with Legos increased his attention span (from about 3 seconds to about 15 minutes!!), improved his dexterity and organizational skills...understand, these were changes taking place within his brain. As incredible as it sounds, I know that box of Legos changed his life.
 
Legos save the day!!!! I can just imagine. Like you say they can have hidden gifts that pop out when you least expect it. My girl needs prompting to count past thirty. But remembering details and names of things she's passionate about she's amazing. Maybe a hundred Shopkins figures and she knows the name, the season, if it's a rare one or not. Something else I just discovered, she can do gorgeous nail art. She used to just fool around and get sloppy. She's done my nails twice in the last month. Strangers are asking where I got them done...proud to say " Oh my daughter did them":):):)
 
I have met one of my friends college roommates who has Asperger's. I don't recall noticing anything different about him but living with him my son did. My son introduced him to his wife because he thought they would get along well together. Their second child (a son) had my son's name as his middle name.

I saw a great show last night called Love on the Spectrum on Netflix (there are four episodes) about people on the autism scale looking for love or those on the spectrum who have already found their partners. I learned a lot about people on the autism spectrum and the show made me realize I should be more understanding if I meet people who have quirks I find annoying.
 
Judy, you ain't one of them czar police are ya?
BlunderWoman- you done left, now you back-good!
OP-a topic of great interest to me, will have to return and read it slower.

Special Ed. teachers. The job requires a 'mental gymnastics' which none can
do. We have destroyed a lot of 'special ed kids' as we could not find the key to
their behavior.
It is a magic job (when you find the key on a child), we don't know how to find
the magic key on most of these kid.
They are forever locked in their world of one
 
Yes I know two women who have Aspergers Syndrome and they are both brilliantly intelligent who cope very well. They are awkward and don’t quite get social cues like most people do and I actually find those with Aspergers very interesting and unique individuals.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top