Anyone joined a dating site what are your experiences?

@dilettante,it seems obvious that someone broke your heart and your trust. You still suffer from pain and loss, I think. It is not necessary to have a love in your life. You are very funny, sometimes though to a point you could hurt somesone's feelings. I have realized it is not your intent.

Your seem very kind and devoted to those you love. I also see that you are missing have that special person. At this age, sometimes it is not worth it for many. To me it is much better to have a tight circle of friends that you can count on. To go out to dinner, movies, even group trips and most of all people that will show up should you get sick. I wish you could find that.
 
Murrmurr said:
Yeah, I don't think it's a good idea to include too many details in ones profile.

A whole lot of women I met on online dating platforms got messages from men who just wanted an American bride so they could get their citizenship faster and cheaper...plus get benefits.
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I watch 90 day fiance... and I tell you there's far more Foreign women looking for an American ..or British man just to get a green card..or the UK equivalent ...than men
 
hollydolly said:
I watch 90 day fiance... and I tell you there's far more Foreign women looking for an American ..or British man just to get a green card..or the UK equivalent ...than men
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About 20yrs ago US immigration services totally deleted the law that granted instant citizenship based on marriage to a natural citizen. (through congress)

But I think children still automatically become natural citizens if they're born here. They have all the same rights as a citizen from the get go.
 
hollydolly said:
I watch 90 day fiance... and I tell you there's far more Foreign women looking for an American ..or British man just to get a green card..or the UK equivalent ...than men
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So true, but it seems to me that American men are looking for foreign women that would be submissive and obey just to have a better life. Of course, once they get their green card they can divorce and do what ever they want. Even then, they still want a man with money.
 
hollydolly said:
..all the negativity tbh...I just have been through too much strife and stress with my Soon 2 B X...to put myself into a precarious position with a stranger..especially one that comes with a lot of baggage
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Has he filed for divorce now? If so, be sure and have a good lawyer/barrister to make sure you get a more than fair settlement. After all, he is the one that committed adultry. If he is so easy to do that he should have no problem making sure you have a secure future. I just hope this new woman has not already drained his finances. If that is the case he will have to sell, give up his fancy things and high life to pay for the choice he alone made.
 
Blessed said:
So true, but it seems to me that American men are looking for foreign women that would be submissive and obey just to have a better life.
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I'm not sure how that would appeal to seniors.

Younger men might be interested in starting a family with a woman interested in a more traditional role. As opposed to behaviorally "mannish" women with reproductive organs too rotted out for that from decades on birth control hormones and more interested in a career outside the home.

These women want the foreign women as servants instead... illegal immigrants even better because they can be held under the thumb more easily. That frees them to engage in their narcissism.


How's that for sour? :ROFLMAO:
 
Blessed said:
Has he filed for divorce now? If so, be sure and have a good lawyer/barrister to make sure you get a more than fair settlement. After all, he is the one that committed adultry. If he is so easy to do that he should have no problem making sure you have a secure future. I just hope this new woman has not already drained his finances. If that is the case he will have to sell, give up his fancy things and high life to pay for the choice he alone made.
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I don’t know about the laws in Britain but in the states divorce has been no fault for decades so it doesn’t matter if the spouse was cheating.
 
Blessed said:
Has he filed for divorce now? If so, be sure and have a good lawyer/barrister to make sure you get a more than fair settlement. After all, he is the one that committed adultry. If he is so easy to do that he should have no problem making sure you have a secure future. I just hope this new woman has not already drained his finances. If that is the case he will have to sell, give up his fancy things and high life to pay for the choice he alone made.
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we're going through the Divorce process right now.. and despite him being the adulterer. there is no fault divorce here.. so much as I;d like the court and the world to know what a low life he is, I won't get that chance..
 
dilettante said:
I'm not fishing. I gave that up over 15 years ago. No, I was contacted here.

But the same applies no matter where you are. It can be physically right down your street. There are a lot of broken people out there.
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I'm not surprised you were contacted here, because there are certain people here who are known to be fishing for any man who comes along ( not being disrespectful to you ).. however they are known, and what they don't realise is those same men are quite happy most of them to tell the rest of us who these women are because they mostly find it highly amusing...and are happy to tell many of us about it.

What I am surprised at is that they jumped on you so soon.. given that you've barely been here a few months.. they were already from what you wrote.. demanding much of you.. that would have scared the living daylights out of most people..:eek:
 
I won't give the user name, I don't think it would help anyone. In this case I suspect there is a behavioral issue that might be resolved through therapy. So I feel it was honest aside from her evasiveness and trust issues which led to a series of ever more extreme blowups.
 
I should add that most of what I think is true about this individual might not be at all.

However I'm pretty sure that things like "widow support groups" tend to spin off covens of serial abusers who troll all of social media looking for victims and sharpening their knives. All of the time believing they are good people and actually superior to others.
 
hollydolly said:
we're going through the Divorce process right now.. and despite him being the adulterer. there is no fault divorce here.. so much as I;d like the court and the world to know what a low life he is, I won't get that chance..
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Well, you should at least get half when everything is reviewed and sold or he makes you a settlement for half the value of the belongings, the home in Spain, the boat, his car. I hope they are considered community property and half of his retirement funds.
 
dilettante said:
Pictures? Pictures?

Seniors are highly likely to have been divorced or widowed. Not many have lived so long without a permanent relationship that they have lost - unless they're married and cheating. Quite a few probably haven't had the time to grow past the aftermath of grief and loss. As a result you should expect some "white water" to navigate:
  • Fishing for more and more information, but never volunteering same. Your failure is "you should ask me questions" but if you do then either answering is evaded or anger flares: "How dare you ask me that? I'm a private person." Count yourself lucky if you ever get to see an actual photo, much less a phone number.

  • When they're upset every aspect of your past, present, health, or prospects is levied at you as a weapon. If your financial situation isn't as comfortable as theirs expect to be labeled as "out for the money" or at best "a low class person" like everyone from your past and perhaps even living family.

  • They have a crippling fear of abandonment, immense trust issues, and a need for absolute control. Constant vigilance for "cheating" which includes forum posts you may give a "hug" or a "heart" to, or any text deemed "too flirty."

  • Make one PM post that is deemed "out of context" and it gets taken as "an obvious message for some other woman misposted to the wrong thread of conversation" and you're convicted without a hearing. They've already exacted a promise not to PM anyone else, but constantly suspect you are disobeying.

  • They'll break away in anger or hurt, only to come back and wheedle apologies out of you for your "offenses." At some point they find "a better" victim or decide they have "better" prospects out there and that particular flight into bizarre behavior is the last one you will see. It's over.
If you come out of that and enter a real face-to-face relationship do things get better? How? Does the leopard suddenly change its spots?

Expect your mail, papers, computers, phones, car floor, and on and on to be subject to explicit and surreptitious rifling for "evidence" of your inevitable wrongdoing. After all, you are in their life so you must be guilty. If you are still working, expect the workplace to be snooped as well. After all, you actually leave the house for hours on end! "Where were you? Who are these friends?"

Kathy Bates' character in "Misery" was not pure fiction, but instead a composite drawn from senior dating.
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OMG....Foooorget It! Oh how I love being SINGLE!. Think I'll stay that way!, lol
 
hollydolly said:
I'm not surprised you were contacted here, because there are certain people here who are known to be fishing for any man who comes along ( not being disrespectful to you )..
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:ROFLMAO: If there is anything I've learned from this, it's humility. Don't worry about disrespect, any idiot should have caught on quickly.

I suspect I was targeted as innocuous, having been pretty open about myself with consistency on the forums. Many of the guys here are married or probably come off as a bit more potentially hazardous.

But: Fool me twice, shame on me.
 
birdy said:
That's a shame HollyDolly. I think you should try it. It's far better to meet organically but I wouldn't rule out a dating app, even though I am not too familiar with them. Have you used any apps in the past?
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NO, never have never needed to, I was married until 2 years ago when he decided that his life lay with other women
 
It's funny to me that there isn't much feedback from guys on this. Either they're too embarrassed having been snagged before themselves, embarrassed that a fellow man let himself get caught up in this, intrigued at their potential prospects here, angry but too smart to comment, or chagrined that they are currently under the thumb.

Of course many are in a stable relationship and have no reason to care. Then there is the possibility that some are acting as fishermen with (1.) nefarious goals or (2.) their own trust baggage and insecurities.
 
dilettante said:
I won't give the user name, I don't think it would help anyone. In this case I suspect there is a behavioral issue that might be resolved through therapy.
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Well shoot... if you don't give a name or a hint, I'll spend waaaaay too much time trying to figure it out. :oops: I must be the most naive person on the planet to have not realized that stuff is going on here... in this FORUM??!! Well, okay, there was something really weird going on with that Christmas gift thread, but ...
 

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