Anyone joined a dating site what are your experiences?

Murrmurr said:
When I met in-person with ladies I met online, I always asked "What do you do for a living?"

I didn't ask for too many details, but their general financial situation interested me because I wasn't going to be anybody's sugar-daddy.
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One can add that to their profile but I guess guys can use that against women too. The ones looking for a woman to support them.
 

Murrmurr said:
I was about a half-a-millionaire for a little while, and that was while I was using online dating sites (bc I was in a wheelchair).

That 60ft fall from off a ridge I've talk about?...that happened at a state park, and there was supposed to be guardrails and warning signs up there. Park administers had the old ones removed but didn't put up the replacements.

I won a lawsuit against them.
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Yikes, without knowing the facts, sounds like you should have gotten a BIG amount for that. And depending on the facts, I would have gone for a settlement in the millions if possible.
 
hollydolly said:
what ?...have you been hiding your millionaire status from us all this time ? :D
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Sadly, a millionaire today is not much to aim for. Inflation took care of that.

However, if a person can find a mate who has a million here and a million there and a few more million scattered about, then we are starting to talk real money.
 
Brookswood said:
Sadly, a millionaire today is not much to aim for. Inflation took care of that.

However, if a person can find a mate who has a million here and a million there and a few more million scattered about, then we are starting to talk real money.
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Oh I know that.. but when someone thinks they might be used as a sugar daddy then they have to be at least a Millionaire...
 
So much sourness, don't let it spoil the whole barrel of apples. I'm not sure why finances matter when the goal is any level South of cohabitation or marriage.

On the positive side there are all kinds of singles' penalties in the system, from health insurance costs to income tax rates. Two people doing "ok" in retirement could join and share expenses and move up to "secure" maybe even with a little money left to fund a more enjoyable retirement.
 
Not directly related to dating sites, but an adjacent topic. Interesting categorization of stages dating goes through:

His "Stage 2" is interesting, and maybe more relevant to the conversation in this thread.
 
birdy said:
One can add that to their profile but I guess guys can use that against women too. The ones looking for a woman to support them.
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Yeah, I don't think it's a good idea to include too many details in ones profile.

A whole lot of women I met on online dating platforms got messages from men who just wanted an American bride so they could get their citizenship faster and cheaper...plus get benefits.
 
birdy said:
Yikes, without knowing the facts, sounds like you should have gotten a BIG amount for that. And depending on the facts, I would have gone for a settlement in the millions if possible.
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It was sizable. It also included life-long medical coverage through the state, very similar to state-employee medical insurance. It only covers injury-related issues but it's been a godsend. I had a whole range of injuries that a bunch of subsequent and current issues can be related to.

I mean, if I develop migraines my Dr could classify it as injury-related.
 
hollydolly said:
I'm considering joining a Senior dating site for over 60's.. ..it's not that I want to find a long term relationship... I would just like to find a casual friend basically... Nowdays there's no going down the pub or to a dance hall and meeting a guy like we did in our youth.. and now o/h's been gone almost 2 years it's time for me to start thinking about having a bit of a life before I get too much older... but I have no experience of dating sites per se.. except for some of the horror stories you read about people meeting weirdos and potential axe murderers...

So.. has anyone joined a dating site.. what were your experiences.. and thoughts..
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I joined but had bad luck, my son joined one, met a woman, fell in love, and got married, she turned out to be a kook(had the whole family fooled), my ex joined one, got married and we were all friends till he passed. Just be careful!
 
hollydolly said:
I'm considering joining a Senior dating site for over 60's.. ..it's not that I want to find a long term relationship... I would just like to find a casual friend basically... Nowdays there's no going down the pub or to a dance hall and meeting a guy like we did in our youth.. and now o/h's been gone almost 2 years it's time for me to start thinking about having a bit of a life before I get too much older... but I have no experience of dating sites per se.. except for some of the horror stories you read about people meeting weirdos and potential axe murderers...

So.. has anyone joined a dating site.. what were your experiences.. and thoughts..
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Good for you Holly. It's great that you already know what you are looking for. When I was separated years ago - I gave it a shot but not long enough to give you my opinion. It was ok for the most part. Some people have had great success - it depends on the time you give it and not allow a few bad guys stop you from searching. I would try it again if I found myself single. If any of them ask you for $$$$ - that's a HUGE red flag to delete that person quick, fast and in a hurry!! You more than likely will meet a mix of guys - the good, bad and WTH was I thinking:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 
hollydolly said:
yes I've heard this... it's just ridiculous because immediately you're going to see their different when you meet them. Lie to me from the start and it's the last lie...
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I agree. I would ask them if it's a recent pic - if they lie and say yes, it's a wrap for me. If they say no, I would ask for a recent pic - if the conversation is going ok.
 
Pictures? Pictures?

Seniors are highly likely to have been divorced or widowed. Not many have lived so long without a permanent relationship that they have lost - unless they're married and cheating. Quite a few probably haven't had the time to grow past the aftermath of grief and loss. As a result you should expect some "white water" to navigate:
  • Fishing for more and more information, but never volunteering same. Your failure is "you should ask me questions" but if you do then either answering is evaded or anger flares: "How dare you ask me that? I'm a private person." Count yourself lucky if you ever get to see an actual photo, much less a phone number.

  • When they're upset every aspect of your past, present, health, or prospects is levied at you as a weapon. If your financial situation isn't as comfortable as theirs expect to be labeled as "out for the money" or at best "a low class person" like everyone from your past and perhaps even living family.

  • They have a crippling fear of abandonment, immense trust issues, and a need for absolute control. Constant vigilance for "cheating" which includes forum posts you may give a "hug" or a "heart" to, or any text deemed "too flirty."

  • Make one PM post that is deemed "out of context" and it gets taken as "an obvious message for some other woman misposted to the wrong thread of conversation" and you're convicted without a hearing. They've already exacted a promise not to PM anyone else, but constantly suspect you are disobeying.

  • They'll break away in anger or hurt, only to come back and wheedle apologies out of you for your "offenses." At some point they find "a better" victim or decide they have "better" prospects out there and that particular flight into bizarre behavior is the last one you will see. It's over.
If you come out of that and enter a real face-to-face relationship do things get better? How? Does the leopard suddenly change its spots?

Expect your mail, papers, computers, phones, car floor, and on and on to be subject to explicit and surreptitious rifling for "evidence" of your inevitable wrongdoing. After all, you are in their life so you must be guilty. If you are still working, expect the workplace to be snooped as well. After all, you actually leave the house for hours on end! "Where were you? Who are these friends?"

Kathy Bates' character in "Misery" was not pure fiction, but instead a composite drawn from senior dating.
 
dilettante said:
Seniors are highly likely to have been divorced or widowed. Not many have lived so long without a permanent relationship that they have lost - unless they're married and cheating. Quite a few probably haven't had the time to grow past the aftermath of grief and loss. As a result you should expect some "white water" to navigate:

If you come out of that and enter a real face-to-face relationship do things get better? How? Does the leopard suddenly change its spots?

Expect your mail, papers, computers, phones, car floor, and on and on to be subject to explicit and surreptitious rifling for "evidence" of your inevitable wrongdoing. After all, you are in their life so you must be guilty. If you are still working, expect the workplace to be snooped as well. After all, you actually leave the house for hours on end! "Where were you? Who are these friends?"

Kathy Bates' character in "Misery" was not pure fiction, but instead a composite drawn from senior dating.
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W😲W! OMG! I don't know where you've been fishing @dilettante, but you need to find a new pond! Good Lord!

I would never get involved with anyone who started out lying to me about anything. Without trust and mutual respect you have nothing.

Online dating has worked for some people but long ago, I decided it wasn't for me. It's an opportunists dream, a meat market, and a minefield. No, thanks.
 
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