Are All Men Looky-Loos?

Pepper said:
You guys have no idea how awful it is to have a conversation with a man who is staring at your breasts. It was a horrible feeling, embarrassing and disgusting.
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Based on your embarrassment and disgust, it's hard to understand why so many women choose to "enlarge" their breasts . It can't be because they are all "bad girls" - - -can it? tsk, tsk.o_O
 
DaveA said:
Based on your embarrassment and disgust, it's hard to understand why so many women choose to "enlarge" their breasts . It can't be because they are all "bad girls" - - -can it? tsk, tsk.o_O
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Augmentation or reduction, altering her breast size is a woman’s prerogative. It may or may not be a desire to attract men. I can certainly understand Pepper’s feelings of embarrassment and

disgust. A quick admiring glance is far different than being leered at. Not all men are fans of large breasts. Nor do all those men who leer confine themselves to ogling them. Over the years, leerers have ogled my breasts, legs, and derrière, it is not respectful. We are not pieces of meat.
 
Shalimar said:
There are people who are gold diggers, regardless of gender.
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Yes, so they claim. I, personally, have never met a man who is a gold digger. Nor have I ever known anyone who has mentioned a male gold digger.
However, I have personally had run ins with female gold diggers. Not much fun dating one. I quickly moved on.
I'd be willing to bet that for every male gold digger, there are dozens and dozens of female gold diggers.
 
DaveA said:
Based on your embarrassment and disgust, it's hard to understand why so many women choose to "enlarge" their breasts . It can't be because they are all "bad girls" - - -can it? tsk, tsk.o_O
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Shalimar said:
Augmentation or reduction, altering her breast size is a woman’s prerogative. It may or may not be a desire to attract men. I can certainly understand Pepper’s feelings of embarrassment and

disgust. A quick admiring glance is far different than being leered at. Not all men are fans of large breasts. Nor do all those men who leer confine themselves to ogling them. We are not pieces of meat. Over the years, leerers have ogled my breasts, legs, and derrière, it is not respectful.
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The men in this thread who are making remarks like the one above desire women but understand nothing and have no respect for women. It's not the women's fault that they can't control themselves.

It's good to know which men on SF are misogynists and which men are gentlemen. Very good. Thank you for showing us your true selves.
 
senior chef said:
Yes, so they claim. I, personally, have never met a man who is a gold digger. Nor have I ever known anyone who has mentioned a male gold digger.
However, I have personally had run ins with female gold diggers. Not much fun dating one. I quickly moved on.
I'd be willing to bet that for every male gold digger, there are dozens and dozens of female gold diggers.
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That might be difficult to prove. By the way, over the course of my career, I have met several. 😊
 
senior chef said:
Yes, so they claim. I, personally, have never met a man who is a gold digger. Nor have I ever known anyone who has mentioned a male gold digger.
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Do some research, you'll find plenty of male gold diggers. Nothing new or female about wanting more money...

"Two in 10 single adults can be classified as "gold diggers" saying that they would marry somebody for their money, according to DDB's Life Style Study. And 54% of these gold diggers are men. And young. Whereas gold digger women are more likely to be part of the boomer generation (40% are female vs. 27% male), gold digger males are significantly more likely to be part of the Millennial generation (40% are male vs. 25% female)."
From: Watch Out Ladies, Millennial Men Are Gold Diggers https://www.forbes.com/sites/lariss...lennial-men-are-gold-diggers/?sh=6a992e032904

and

The Most Egregious Male Gold Diggers https://www.ranker.com/list/the-most-egregious-male-gold-diggers/mark
 
Shalimar said:
Augmentation or reduction, altering her breast size is a woman’s prerogative. It may or may not be a desire to attract men. I can certainly understand Pepper’s feelings of embarrassment and

disgust. A quick admiring glance is far different than being leered at. Not all men are fans of large breasts. Nor do all those men who leer confine themselves to ogling them. Over the years, leerers have ogled my breasts, legs, and derrière, it is not respectful. We are not pieces of meat.
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I agree, women are not pieces of meat. However, men are FLOODED with testosterone. In fact, men have aprox 9 times more testosterone than women. Testosterone is what fires up the sex drive. From early teens onward, boys become obsessed with thoughts of sex.
Perhaps a poor analogy , but fry up some bacon and see how quickly your dog comes running. Then tease the dog. Waive the bacon around , but don't give him any. That is what it is like to be male and live in a world overflowing with women who tease us by dressing sexy: low cut blouses, ultra tight jeans, super high skirt hemlines, "hot pants" etc etc.
 
senior chef said:
I agree, women are not pieces of meat. However, men are FLOODED with testosterone. In fact, men have aprox 9 times more testosterone than women. Testosterone is what fires up the sex drive. From early teens onward, boys become obsessed with thoughts of sex.
Perhaps a poor analogy , but fry up some bacon and see how quickly your dog comes running. Then tease the dog. Waive the bacon around , but don't give him any. That is what it is like to be male and live in a world overflowing with women who tease us by dressing sexy: low cut blouses, ultra tight jeans, super high skirt hemlines, "hot pants" etc etc.
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If some men feel overwhelmed by their levels of testosterone, it must be very difficult. However, it is not a woman’s responsibility to cover up in order to make things easier for them. I would think that frank conversations with other men who seem to be comfortable with their response might be more helpful than pointing fingers at certain women.
 
Bella said:
The men in this thread who are making remarks like the one above desire women but understand nothing and have no respect for women. It's not the women's fault that they can't control themselves.

It's good to know which men on SF are misogynists and which men are gentlemen. Very good. Thank you for showing us your true selves.
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And I mistook this for a good natured topic and unfortunately posted what I assumed to be in jest.
I see that I was wrong and apologize to those who have been offended. Sorry for any misplaced humor.

Having met a beautiful young lady back in 1953, marrying her in '56, and still happily married to this day, I may be out of touch with modern day humor.
 
senior chef said:
From early teens onward, boys become obsessed with thoughts of sex.
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Yep, been there done that, most all males know the feeling.

However there is also good reason to believe that rape and murder are natural human instincts. As we have become civilized we have learned to control and live with these feelings, and not to act on them. I think most all men have thoughts and desires we suppress for the good of society and ourselves. Women too probably.

Being respectful to ladies isn't hard, and has its benefits.

Sociobiological theories of rape https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sociobiological_theories_of_rape

Why do we kill? https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/why-do-we-kill.htm​


Why do we kill? Controversial study blames our distant ancestors https://www.science.org/content/art...troversial-study-blames-our-distant-ancestors​

 
Shalimar said:
If some men feel overwhelmed by their levels of testosterone, it must be very difficult. However, it is not a woman’s responsibility to cover up in order to make things easier for them. I would think that frank conversations with other men who seem to be comfortable with their response might be more helpful than pointing fingers at certain women.
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I don't agree with it but Muslims have a way of dealing with women who would show off their bodies. It's called a burka.
No lookie loos there.

In any event, I am well past caring if women flaunt their bodies. However, if women DO flaunt their bodies, they should expect that men are going to stare.
 
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DaveA said:
Based on your embarrassment and disgust, it's hard to understand why so many women choose to "enlarge" their breasts . It can't be because they are all "bad girls" - - -can it? tsk, tsk.o_O
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I was relating my own feelings and not what other women do. My feelings. I was the young woman under the microscope. I was the one feeling embarrassed and even ANGRY. Remarks about other women have nothing to do what *I* felt.
 
Men are naturally wired to pay attention when an attractive woman is present.

Beauty triggers a man's brain by releasing neurochemicals that make them feel amazing when checking out attractive women. Most women know this and love to play the game...thus they take care of their appearance and flirt. Everyone knows that it feels good to look at pretty things.

It's harmless unless they don't control it. If they can't control it then they need some help. Nagging only makes it worse and is cruel. Making light of it, humor, and diverting his attention is helpful. If nothing helps then it could be a relationship issue.

wink-hot.gif
 
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senior chef said:
I don't agree with it but Muslims have a way of dealing with women who would show off their bodies. It's called a burka.
No lookie loos there.

In any event, I am well past caring if women flaunt their bodies. However, if women DO flaunt their bodies, they should expect that men are going to stare.
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Wellll, if you approve of burkas, does that mean you approve of beheading and/or stoning, too?!?

Your general viewpoint, though, reminded me of this idiot from decades ago:
https://www.nytimes.com/1977/05/27/...consin-calls-rape-by-boy-normal-reaction.html

Viewpoints such as you express are more than misogynistic, they're dangerous.
I certainly hope you don't have any kids to pass your 'ideas' to.
 
Barbara971 said:
Do you mean it is genetically part of being a man or just something one man learns from another, so “we all just do it”?
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It is interesting to read the views of those experts who have written book on human behaviour, and mentioning what is in our genes brings this to mind.

Obviously social factors come into play when it comes to considering what might be "legitimate flirting" (the kind of behaviour it would be ridiculous to try to control or outlaw), and what might be offensive behaviour in the eyes of most people. Social factors are said to have lead to us all from an early age coming to an understanding as to what is okay, and constraining ourselves because of this, (sorry if this sounds boring! :) .
 
Alligatorob said:
Yep, been there done that, most all males know the feeling.

However there is also good reason to believe that rape and murder are natural human instincts. As we have become civilized we have learned to control and live with these feelings, and not to act on them. I think most all men have thoughts and desires we suppress for the good of society and ourselves. Women too probably.

Being respectful to ladies isn't hard, and has its benefits.

Sociobiological theories of rape https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sociobiological_theories_of_rape

Why do we kill? https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/why-do-we-kill.htm​


Why do we kill? Controversial study blames our distant ancestors https://www.science.org/content/art...troversial-study-blames-our-distant-ancestors​

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And that's the issue- most people have become civilized.. and socialized to know what is and isn't acceptable behavior... but unfortunately there are those who have not.
 
If we are going to have children we are going to need to have make whoopee. Most of the adolescents and those 1st marriages I was aware of were filled with "intimate" melodrama. Who escaped it? We all had issues in this area. We wanted to have children. The western way is to be attractive in some way, not just do it mechanically. Who is more show off like is always a give and take. Of course there are those who are not socialized enough to play that game and they by pass it to go straight for their hunger, but most are on equal footing when it comes to the mating game.
 
Lara said:
Men are naturally wired to pay attention when an attractive woman is present.

Beauty triggers a man's brain by releasing neurochemicals that make them feel amazing when checking out attractive women. Most women know this and love to play the game...thus they take care of their appearance and flirt. Everyone knows that it feels good to look at pretty things.

It's harmless unless they don't control it. If they can't control it then they need some help. Nagging only makes it worse and is cruel. Making light of it, humor, and diverting his attention is helpful. If nothing helps then it could be a relationship issue.
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Really well put @Lara, it is just what I have been trying to say, me awkwardly in multiple disconnected posts, you in one concise one! Thanks.
Barbara971 said:
Do you mean it is genetically part of being a man or just something one man learns from another
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I believe it is genetically programed, behaviors that worked for millions of year, but don't in today's society. We have to learn to curb them to live together. I think most people do a good job of that.
JaniceM said:
Wellll, if you approve of burkas, does that mean you approve of beheading and/or stoning, too?!?
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I approve of people wearing burqas, if they are doing it of their own free will. And some Muslim women do, I am ok with that. Kuwait has a very different and much more open culture than Saudi, you can see young Kuwaiti women in bikinis on the water front and no one objects. Yet there are still some women in burqas, I assume without being required, that's ok with me. I put on a burqa once, trying it out for Halloween! Only wore it about 5 minutes.

The heading and stoning stuff, not so much. Though on occasion my reptilian brain wants to see them brought back for a few individuals... not really.
JaniceM said:
And that's the issue- most people have become civilized.. and socialized to know what is and isn't acceptable behavior... but unfortunately there are those who have not.
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Absolutely! We have really done an amazing job of learning behaviors that are not instinctual, even counter to our instincts. Today's civilization would not exist had we not. However there is still a bit of progress to be made.

This has turned into an interesting thread. Agree with them or not I have appreciated all posts and opinions.
 
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