Are You Still Discovering Who You Are?

I hear the expression so often "You must love yourself before you can love another." This translates to me z'to knowing who you are". Do you know who you are or are you as confused as I am?:confused: My emotions change often and I have spent a lifetime taking care of others. Hubby, kids, grandkids, patients so I have put myself on the back burner until I have no idea where to start. Looking forward to hearing from all.
 

I am not the same person I was at 40 and absolutely not the same person I was at 20. We learn and we grow.. I think we should never stop learning and changing.. So who knows who I will be at 70 or 80..

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Quicksilver, I am not the same person I was at 40 and absolutely not the same person I was at 20. We learn and we grow.. I think we should never stop learning and changing..
that sums it up for me too.
 

I hear the expression so often "You must love yourself before you can love another." This translates to me z'to knowing who you are". Do you know who you are or are you as confused as I am?:confused: My emotions change often and I have spent a lifetime taking care of others. Hubby, kids, grandkids, patients so I have put myself on the back burner until I have no idea where to start. Looking forward to hearing from all.

You'll be glad or dismayed possibly to know you're not the only one...me too, without a doubt!!
 
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Originally Posted by Just plain me
I hear the expression so often "You must love yourself before you can love another." This translates to me z'to knowing who you are". Do you know who you are or are you as confused as I am?:confused: My emotions change often and I have spent a lifetime taking care of others. Hubby, kids, grandkids, patients so I have put myself on the back burner until I have no idea where to start. Looking forward to hearing from all.


JPM... it think this is pretty common for women. We are told from very young on that our duty is primarily to the children, husband, household.. and that to put ourselves first EVER, is selfish. So when we find that we are in a position to think of ourselves, we don't know how.. AND in fact, feel guilty about putting ourselves first. I've struggled with that. I am in a position to be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor after all these years.. and I have to constantly tell myself that it's OK!! I've worked hard.. I can pamper myself when I want to.. BUT that little voice in my head keeps trying to admonish me.. I'm turning a deaf ear..
 
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Still discovering who I am, no not really; it was a long process, but that part I'm pretty clear on, discovering new ways of relating and seeing things, changing opinions or a viewpoint when presented with facts that may oppose my own, yes. I'm definitely not the person I was when I was 20, to 30, to 40 not even 45 till 50. Do I still have my doubts and insecurities, for sure, but, I like me though I know I'm very much not most people's cup of tea. Not a rebel not a part of the gang, just am what I am and that's me. The one only a mother could love. Kidding, there've been others that loved this mug.

Knowing who I am and still evolving as a human being go hand in hand for me. Now describing who I am, that's a whole nother subject that gets a whole lot of complicated.
 
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The piece of coal, at some point knows it has become a diamond. Then it goes through the cutting and polishing....and learns to enjoy being a diamond. I enjoy who I am, and who I am becoming.
 
I hear the expression so often "You must love yourself before you can love another." This translates to me z'to knowing who you are". Do you know who you are or are you as confused as I am?:confused: My emotions change often and I have spent a lifetime taking care of others. Hubby, kids, grandkids, patients so I have put myself on the back burner until I have no idea where to start. Looking forward to hearing from all.

H JPM,

I think I am always learning about me, but I am also moody & feel confused. I don't always love, or even like myself. I think I try to love other, or at least like them, or I don't like them at all but I can love them, have really well wishes for them. I do believe it is better to care about others, it's very lonely when I don't. I never had children to love, or a husband (not in the true sense, always confused about marriage/relationships with men).

I do think it is easier for others to see who you are, like I see you as a person that did so many right & good things, unselfish. I think that is what I want to be most, is unselfish.
 
JustPlainMe, I think all of us continue to grow and know more about ourselves as we get older. I know what you mean about caring for others, even though I never had children myself. I tend to put others before myself, number one is my husband, but even strangers or my pets will get more caring consideration before myself many times. I think just being here, shows you love yourself, it's just a little thing we do for ourselves personally.

QuickSilver has some good point there, about feeling guilt when we're older and finally want for ourselves. Also, that we're all constantly changing in our thoughts, opinions, feelings about the world around us, and about ourselves.

I think it's important for all of us to love ourselves by allowing a little "me" time in our golden years. It can be very simple things. Go somewhere to enjoy nature, or take in a show that hubby wouldn't particularly care for. Put aside a couple of hours for a nice bubble bath, and some soothing music that you like. Be conscious of your decisions regarding what you'd like to do, and just do it. Sometimes we exaggerate the response of others in our decisions.

We're all seniors here, who have lived all the ups and downs of this life, we deserve some time to ourselves, doing things that will make us happy in our later years. Sometimes buying a simple knickknack, plant or brightly colored blouse, will make our day. We're not used to thinking of ourselves first, but we are very capable of making small changes that help to make us feel better and love ourselves. Keep in mind, you're not alone. :love_heart:
 
thank You all for your opinions. And for the nice compliment nwlady, even tho I probably don't deserve it. I beleive you are probably unselfish to, , sometimes as you said we see in others what we don't see in ourselves. I am married 48 years and I am still confused about the male/female relationship. LOL! I can count on you all to be supportive and honest which is wonderful.
 
Years ago when Whatsisname, The Father of My Children, and I parted ways, he said he was going to "find himself". In those days, the early 70s, finding oneself was the trendy thing to do. One of these days when I chat with him again, I'm going to ask if he ever found himself. And if he did, where?

As for me? Meh. It's late, and I'm too tired to think about anything so weighty.
 
thank You all for your opinions. And for the nice compliment nwlady, even tho I probably don't deserve it. I beleive you are probably unselfish to, , sometimes as you said we see in others what we don't see in ourselves. I am married 48 years and I am still confused about the male/female relationship. LOL! I can count on you all to be supportive and honest which is wonderful.

Yeah, I have a wise, girlfriend, been friends 40 years now, and she always says "we are our own, worst critics". Lots of unsung heros, especially moms and wives;) You are welcome, and it's nice to see someone knowing how to take a compliment, "thank you" is the best way, imo, Denise:sentimental:
 
I have always known who I am since I first drew breath, I am JUST ME, having no wish to be anyone else.
 


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