Are you the talker or the Quiet One

hollydolly

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
Are you more of a talker in your relationships or are you the quieter one?

Do you find it easy to chat to strangers...and your partner doesn't.

Perhaps you shirk the idea of striking up a conversation with a stranger while your partner happily chats to anyone and everyone..

At gatherings are you likely to be chatting to most people, or are you more likely to be the one who says the least ?

At home would your family or friends describe you as talkative or very quiet..?
 

I'll happily pass the time of day with strangers (like a store clerk, another shopper in the same aisle in a store, someone standing in line at a checkout counter) because "it's nothing personal". They probably think I'm outgoing. Not.

At gatherings? I avoid them like the plague and only find myself in gatherings under threats of sudden and/or bloody death. I'll go, make nice with whomever is hosting/in charge or whatever, then flee. I'll walk a mile to avoid a party, and getting an invitation to an event where there are more than two other people brings on the stress, especially if the more-than-two-others are people I don't know or don't know well.

Family and friends? They'd probably say I'm a Chatty Cathy.
 
Ahhh Georgia, you sound exactly like me....I could have written that, no need now...***ditto*** :D.. !!
 

Generally I'm the talker everywhere except in our relationship.

I'm an extrovert and love conversation but there are two things that inhibit me at home.

One is that my hubby is quite deaf, and as such is more of a talker than a listener. He loves to start a conversation but often doesn't have his aids in, or they aren't working, and my responses have to be given several times over before he hears me. This tends to cause me to make my side of the conversation short and sweet. The other factor is that when I try to engage him in conversation I am lucky to get two sentences out before he interrupts me with some response. He just cannot seem to listen to me long enough for me to get a point across. I have taken to suspending myself until he stops talking, and then I start again, from the beginning, as I try again to make my point. Sometimes this takes three attempts and by then all conversation is over. It's a shame because we once used to talk together for hours on end.

Hubby is also an extrovert but outside the home he finds it hard to follow conversations, especially where women are talking softly. So, in the home he talks more and outside it I really get going.
 
Maybe that's why I enjoy SF? Don't have to have an up-close-an-personal, face-to-face relationship but can be interested in others' lives and friendly.

When I worked in an office setting, my co-workers were my work friends but not friends outside the office. When I was cleaning houses, it was no problem to be friends and friendly while I was there. It's not that I didn't like them, though; I just didn't want to "let them in".

And another thing...there's probably a name for my "affliction"...I don't recognize faces unless family members or people that I've known for years. That can be odd and embarrassing when someone who knows me speaks to me somewhere out in public.
 
Georgia, I have the same problem with recognizing faces. I'm much better at remembering names. I wish everybody would walk around with name tags stuck to them;
it would make my life a lot less embarassng!
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
Maybe that's why I enjoy SF? Don't have to have an up-close-an-personal, face-to-face relationship but can be interested in others' lives and friendly.

When I worked in an office setting, my co-workers were my work friends but not friends outside the office. When I was cleaning houses, it was no problem to be friends and friendly while I was there. It's not that I didn't like them, though; I just didn't want to "let them in".

And another thing...there's probably a name for my "affliction"...I don't recognize faces unless family members or people that I've known for years. That can be odd and embarrassing when someone who knows me speaks to me somewhere out in public.
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OMG!!! are you my long lost identical twin???....that's exactly me, right down to not recognising faces unless I've known them for years and seen them very regularly...absolutely rubbish at it, and all my life people have accused me of being ''stuck up'' because I've walked past them in the street and not acknowledged them. I honestly don't recognise people..

The head honcho of the company I work for..came to see me a couple of weeks ago, and although I've seen him several times over the years, it's always about 6 months in between visits, so when he came the other week, I looked at him blankly when he walked in..I didn't recognise him at all simply because he had changed his hairstyle or something..threw me completely!!

However, I recognise people by their walk. If I see someone a hundred yards away even walking in the opposite direction ..I know who they are, but faces Nope!. So odd!!
 
Whaddaya know? There's a name for it! Prosopagnosia or face blindness or facial agnosia. Who knew? Something ailing the brain. We can be sort of re-programmed to compensate for it. Looks like you do, Hollydolly, by recognizing their walk. Me? Nope.

I've been accused of being stuck up, too, when the fact of the matter is that I just don't recognize people.

My husband was such a social butterfly and knew everybody that it wasn't a problem when were somewhere together.
 
Sunny said:
Georgia, I have the same problem with recognizing faces. I'm much better at remembering names. I wish everybody would walk around with name tags stuck to them;
it would make my life a lot less embarassng!
Click to expand...

Im the opposite cant remember names but faces easy to recognize.....why is that???
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
I'll happily pass the time of day with strangers (like a store clerk, another shopper in the same aisle in a store, someone standing in line at a checkout counter) because "it's nothing personal". They probably think I'm outgoing. Not.

At gatherings? I avoid them like the plague and only find myself in gatherings under threats of sudden and/or bloody death. I'll go, make nice with whomever is hosting/in charge or whatever, then flee. I'll walk a mile to avoid a party, and getting an invitation to an event where there are more than two other people brings on the stress, especially if the more-than-two-others are people I don't know or don't know well.

Family and friends? They'd probably say I'm a Chatty Cathy.
Click to expand...

That is a great description. And that's me, too, exactly.
 
For me... it depends on my mood. Sometimes I can talk up a storm...and seek out company. Sometimes I simply don't feel like conversing and avoid being in situations where I am forced to be sociable. It just depends on how I feel.
 
Thread should be titled "Are You an Introvert?". I am in Spades. "Underock1" is not just my user name, its my life style.
If you haven't already, check out "introvert" on the Web. The symptoms fit like a glove, as well as the misunderstandings people have about them. I really like people a lot. I enjoy seeing them happy and hearing about their lives. I just prefer it one on one, especially now with my hearing problems. Groups have become impossible. I run out of energy. I can't do it for hours.
 
I'm a lot like a few here, not really a chatty talker, but have no problem having a short chat with a stranger somewhere. I don't care for parties or gatherings with a lot of people present either, rather visit with just a few if necessary, but no social butterfly here, neither is hubby. I can usually remember a face, but not a name unless I really knew that person well. Even those in my family would say I was quiet or average, not an outgoing talker. I talk more one on one with a friend, than I would in a group.
 
I avoid any public gathering like the plague. I am a writer but not much of a talker. My husband is very outgoing and talks to everyone everywhere, including any cats or dogs in the area. I talk, of course, to my family but if my husband is there it seems I don't get to say much. My x-daughter-in-law pegged it pretty well. She said my husband, our daughter and 2 of our sons have charismatic personalities. That left our oldest son and myself to be the duds in the family.(She didn't say that part :) One on one I can talk to people. I have made a new rule a couple years ago and that is that I must say something nice to someone each day (outside the family). If I go to the bank I might tell the teller I love her nails, or at Walmart (I feel sorry for those single mom's working their hind ends off there all day and having to listen to people complain about prices or whatever.) I ask the clerk what they are doing after work or something like that. I am often surprised at how much a simple kind question will draw out a tired sad looking person and what all they say while they are ringing up the groceries. Of course, my husband is also usually talking to them but sometimes he leaves to go the restroom while we are at the check stand so I get to talk for a minute or two. :) Most people that don't know me well think I am quiet, shy and stand-offish or even stuck up and I am not.
 
I can talk or I can be quiet, depending on who I am with, the subject matter and circumstances. I like to play it by ear and adapt to the situation. Sometimes it's appropriate to sit and listen and sometimes it's nice to be chatty.
 
Oh, I'm a talker and always have been. My Dad once told me, that I would "talk the horns off of a billy goat". He also bet me $1 that I couldn't be quiet for ? minutes. I forgot just how long the bet was, but I won!!!! Of course I haven't been quiet since then. I can talk to anyone and usually do.
 
I was painfully shy into my 20 but now I'm very talkative and sometimes you can't shut me up. I will talk to strangers easily.

Hubby has always been outgoing. He is comfortable speaking in front of a thousand people which I could never do.
 
Underock1 said:
Thread should be titled "Are You an Introvert?". I am in Spades. "Underock1" is not just my user name, its my life style.
If you haven't already, check out "introvert" on the Web. The symptoms fit like a glove, as well as the misunderstandings people have about them. I really like people a lot. I enjoy seeing them happy and hearing about their lives. I just prefer it one on one, especially now with my hearing problems. Groups have become impossible. I run out of energy. I can't do it for hours.
Click to expand...

Nope I don't think that would have been the correct title , i did think that at first, but not all quiet people are introverts..( I'm officially classed as an introvert but I will talk to anyone) except when in a crowd and then I want to just be at the back ..whereas some people can be extroverts and like to be seen to be the life and soul of any action, but not necessarily be talkative..

Georgia...wow, I should have guessed there would have been a title for not recognising faces...after all these years I can now say to those who accuse me of being 'stuck up''...sorry I didn't recognise your ugly mug..but I'm a prosopagrhyt...errrm prosopagnoortic...ermm...well I'll just shorten it to prossi...I'm sure folks will understand.. :wiggle::wiggle:
 
Ooops forgot to say as per the topic, I am the talkative one in the house, my husband is the quiet one, he only speaks when there's something he feels is worth saying tho', so to everyone else it seems like I talk non-stop ....he is absolutely not a social butterfly..but he's not shy either if he's in his own comfort zone.
 
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