Arguments with your partner, that have no solution , can ruin your day.

grahamg said:
It can be quite confusing though, notwithstanding your excellent comments, because they say don't they "Love means not saying sorry", (from "Love Story", was it, with Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neil?). :)
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I wish that were true, but that's an ideal saying. Real life is another matter.:)
Saying "I'm sorry" opens the door to communication, if that makes sense. It means you're willing to talk.
 

palides2021 said:
I wish that were true, but that's an ideal saying. Real life is another matter.:)
Saying "I'm sorry" opens the door to communication, if that makes sense. It means you're willing to talk.
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"Love Story" NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!!, (you're saying?????)

Of course, of course, somewhere along the line since aged twenty one "with my first girlfriend", when we walked out of the picture house believing we'd watching the greatest love picture ever made, and when I saw the movie again aged fifty, I did realise it was an incy bit corny! :)
 
Gaer said:
It only takes one second to change the thought from your mind, to feel peace in your body, to let the eyes soften. the heart feel love again.
Why would you want to spend even a moment in anger and pain when you can change the way you think and feel into happiness?
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Indeed, and, along those lines......
If you see a married couple still in love through the years, you may think how lucky they are. But in marital relations, there's no such thing as luck. They made many compromises, they overlooked each others faults. They forgave many mistakes & endured many problems. They spent years learning to understand one another. There will always be small disagreements. Love has never been a matter of luck. It's mutual giving, compromise, shared dreams, care, respect, mercy & patience.
 
Of course my husband and I have arguments. I met my husband in 2007 and we were married in 2011. So we have been married for 10 years now. Someone stated above that arguments are part of any relationship and this is 100% true. My husband and I though when we have arguments resolve to never take the argument to bed with us at night. We need to communicate with each other at least some sort of resolve of the argument before going to bed. For 10 years we have been doing this and not only has it worked , but it has kept our communication channels opened and flowing even when we disagree sometimes with things. We are partners in the end and we need to communicate and work together as partners. Not only when everything is going wonderful, but also when things are in disagreement. Also when we resolve and make up it makes for a much better time. ;)
 
My mom gave me the best advice when I got married. She said (not sure of the exact wording here), decide how important it is to you before you fight about it. In other words, pick your battles! My husband and I bicker a lot, but very few large arguments. When we do fight, it's usually over fairly soon as we just walk away from each other for a few hours.
 
Smiley Holly said:
Of course my husband and I have arguments. I met my husband in 2007 and we were married in 2011. So we have been married for 10 years now. Someone stated above that arguments are part of any relationship and this is 100% true. My husband and I though when we have arguments resolve to never take the argument to bed with us at night. We need to communicate with each other at least some sort of resolve of the argument before going to bed. For 10 years we have been doing this and not only has it worked , but it has kept our communication channels opened and flowing even when we disagree sometimes with things. We are partners in the end and we need to communicate and work together as partners. Not only when everything is going wonderful, but also when things are in disagreement. Also when we resolve and make up it makes for a much better time. ;)
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I like the way you've described dealing with differences of opinion, and yet avoiding harping on about them I guess, (so they can be "put to bed"! :) ).
 
My husband and I argue a lot about him doing too much. He has a lot of medical conditions. Last week I finally asked my daughter who is an RN to talk to him. she did and now we are going to have to find another issue to argue about. (she even put a tracker on his cell phone)
 
@Paco Dennis my impression is that you’ve
b een together a long time … or at least long enough to have some predictability In the way you and your partner will respond to and resolve conflict. And so my impression is that this behavior you describe is new, or different. Is that the case?

If it is, then I would be concerned about an underlying cause not related to the issue being argued about. And if it’s not different then I’d be curious why you’re just now finding it intolerable or at least annoying enough to bring it up here?
 
Sassycakes said:
My husband and I argue a lot about him doing too much. He has a lot of medical conditions. Last week I finally asked my daughter who is an RN to talk to him. she did and now we are going to have to find another issue to argue about. (she even put a tracker on his cell phone)
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Doing too much can be a very ligitimate concern, and as you suggest, if warnings are not heeded it can lead to serious health failings.
On the other hand I know of one very unfortunate case where accusations someone was "doing too much" were simply made to undermine the person referred to, essentially telling them and anyone foolish enough to be taken in, that "they were not capable of making their own decisions"! :(
 
grahamg said:
Doing too much can be a very ligitimate concern, and as you suggest, if warnings are not heeded it can lead to serious health failings.
On the other hand I know of one very unfortunate case where accusations someone was "doing too much" were simply made to undermine the person referred to, essentially telling them and anyone foolish enough to be taken in, that "they were not capable of making their own decisions"! :(
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Uh oh, I can see where that was leading....
 
caroln said:
Uh oh, I can see where that was leading....
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grahamg said:
Not sure I understand you, (I intended my comments to be oblique/obscure, but maybe you assessed I was talking of myself?).
Were you thinking I was about to take the discussion down the "fathers rights", rabbit hole, (no, not this one!)? :)
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Oh, no, not at all! I was thinking that the person who was inferring that someone was incapable of making their own decisions was eventually going to get them declared incompetent and take over their finances or something. I wasn't referring to you...why would you think that???
 
caroln said:
Oh, no, not at all! I was thinking that the person who was inferring that someone was incapable of making their own decisions was eventually going to get them declared incompetent and take over their finances or something. I wasn't referring to you...why would you think that???
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Ahem, well I am a bit guilty of the charge, "You're taking the thread off topic, towards my old hobby horse of fathers/parents rights, etc., (cue red face!)!
 
grahamg said:
Ahem, well I am a bit guilty of the charge, "You're taking the thread off topic, towards my old hobby horse of fathers/parents rights, etc., (cue red face!)!
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No, you're fine Graham. I guess my comment was a bit cryptic. Actually, I haven't been on this forum long enough to know about any of your (or anyone's) "old hobby horses". I'm rather new here, but learning about what subjects not to get into! :rolleyes:
 
caroln said:
No, you're fine Graham. I guess my comment was a bit cryptic. Actually, I haven't been on this forum long enough to know about any of your (or anyone's) "old hobby horses". I'm rather new here, but learning about what subjects not to get into! :rolleyes:
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I hope you choose to comment upon whatever thread topic I come up with next, (I once posted one saying something like "This is a thread about nothing at all", (or something stupid like that), and one kind forum member eventually responded and got it going!

Watch out for "gratuitous sarcasm", (if such a thing exists?), and all kinds of tomfoolery!!!!!! :)
 
grahamg said:
Doing too much can be a very ligitimate concern, and as you suggest, if warnings are not heeded it can lead to serious health failings.
On the other hand I know of one very unfortunate case where accusations someone was "doing too much" were simply made to undermine the person referred to, essentially telling them and anyone foolish enough to be taken in, that "they were not capable of making their own decisions"! :(
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I would love for him to be able to do more things,but his health is very important to me.
 


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