At what age did you "Find Yourself"?

I found part of myself back in the mid-'90s when I discovered I had an interest in computer science and a natural ability for programming. I knew at that point what I wanted to do for a living. It was something I was passionate about that would also provide me with a good living. Some people never find their calling, so I considered myself lucky.

These days, I have no desire whatsoever to write software, and I sure as hell don't want to go back to working in an office all day where I'd have to deal with all the office politics that goes with it. I'll occasionally write a script if there's something I want to automate on the computer, but that's rare, and usually I can just download something someone else wrote.

I still enjoy creating things — just not software. Now I make stuff that's more tangible, like furniture. There's nothing tangible about software. You can't even see it, other than the user interface or the code. With a piece of furniture, you get something you can put your hands on... something solid.

So, professionally, I found myself in the '90s. Now I'm back doing things I did before then, which are now hobbies.
 
I feel like a huge onion. I peel back one messy layer and notice there's another layer below loaded with issues,
fears, and misconceptions. So I peel that layer back and BAM.....there's another layer of doubt, worry, and insecurity.
What a mess! Will I EVER get to the core? Do I even WANT to get to the core? If I do, I'll either be calm, centered, and peaceful or completely out of my mind. I'll let you know....stay posted.
 
I don’t think I have found myself, yet. I feel I’ve always been looking though. My “self” tends to be a bit ellusive & allusive. Sometimes it seems that “myself” is way ahead of me & I have difficulties trying to catch up. Other times myself is behind me in the distance, in its own little world.

Interpret that in whichever way you want; I’ll leave it with you. When you have figured it out though can you explain it back to me so I can understand it better what I've just said? :)

Maybe when we ‘convince’ ourselves that we have found ourselves, we then have a ‘fixed’ image of that. But ourselves may still be moving & developing. Then slowly overtime we stop knowing our true selves. Because our true self has walked off in another direction & developed further. As we then get older we might suddenly realise we aren’t now quite the person we used to be, or thought we were.

Do we ever truly find ourselves? Once you have found yourself you might have already moved on.
 
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