Behaviors of Emotionally Immature People

[David777]

Brief points at this psychology link provide a good summary of common behaviors of emotionally immature people. One is more likely to encounter such people in non-professional and working class environments because in corporate workplaces they won't likely succeed. Personally, I tend to avoid overly emotional others.

7 Mistakes That Emotionally Immature People Often Make, According to Psychologists
snippets:

1. Not Communicating Well

Trying to communicate about something important with someone who is emotionally immature can be a hassle and can be one of the reasons why their relationships don’t usually last very long due to the confusion that arises.

“An emotionally immature person often struggles to understand their own feelings and those of others,” Dixon states. “This lack of insight can lead to confusion about their emotional experiences and hinder their ability to communicate effectively. When someone is unaware of how their emotions affect their behavior, it can create misunderstandings in relationships.”

2. Becoming Overly Clingy

While it’s nice being in a relationship with someone who wants to be around you, emotionally immature people sometimes take it to the next level of clinginess because oftentimes, they don’t like to give someone they’re in a relationship much space.

“They become easily attached to people,” Ramsey reveals. “They might become overly clingy because they don’t know how to be without that person.”

3. Rigid Thinking

It’s very difficult to get an emotionally immature person to see any other viewpoint than their own. Because of the fact that they tend to be very black and white about things and always think they are right, maintaining a healthy relationship is very hard.

“A person who exhibits rigid thinking is unable to consider alternative perspectives or adapt their views. This inflexibility can lead to a narrow understanding of situations and magnify their own emotional experiences, making it difficult for them to manage their feelings effectively,” Dixon shares.

4. Reacting Poorly to Criticism

No matter if you’re pointing something out causally or bluntly telling an emotionally immature person something they did wrong, they won’t have a good reaction.

“They don’t take feedback well,” Ramsey explains. “You can share something with them, even if it’s true, and they still won’t accept it. Because of that, it’s hard to have a relationship with them because you can’t really tell them anything.”

5. Being Self-Centered

“An emotionally immature individual often displays self-centered behavior, showing little regard for others’ feelings or experiences,” Dixon tells Parade. “This focus on themselves can blind them to the emotional needs of those around them, making it hard to form meaningful connections.”

6. Becoming Easily Angry

While it’s natural to get upset in certain situations, a person who is emotionally immature gets mad a lot more than normal, which is a mistake they make that is really hard to navigate when you’re dating them.

“A person who is emotionally immature, will get mad over the slightest things,” Ramsey warns. “They can’t regulate their emotions.”

7. Not Knowing How To Show Empathy

Having a relationship of any kind with an emotionally immature person can be difficult because they aren’t able to connect with people the same way and sympathize with them in situations.

 

[Olivia]

Brief points at this psychology link provide a good summary of common behaviors of emotionally immature people. One is more likely to encounter such people in non-professional and working class environments because in corporate workplaces they won't likely succeed. Personally, I tend to avoid overly emotional others.

7 Mistakes That Emotionally Immature People Often Make, According to Psychologists
snippets:

1. Not Communicating Well

Trying to communicate about something important with someone who is emotionally immature can be a hassle and can be one of the reasons why their relationships don’t usually last very long due to the confusion that arises.

“An emotionally immature person often struggles to understand their own feelings and those of others,” Dixon states. “This lack of insight can lead to confusion about their emotional experiences and hinder their ability to communicate effectively. When someone is unaware of how their emotions affect their behavior, it can create misunderstandings in relationships.”

2. Becoming Overly Clingy

While it’s nice being in a relationship with someone who wants to be around you, emotionally immature people sometimes take it to the next level of clinginess because oftentimes, they don’t like to give someone they’re in a relationship much space.

“They become easily attached to people,” Ramsey reveals. “They might become overly clingy because they don’t know how to be without that person.”

3. Rigid Thinking

It’s very difficult to get an emotionally immature person to see any other viewpoint than their own. Because of the fact that they tend to be very black and white about things and always think they are right, maintaining a healthy relationship is very hard.

“A person who exhibits rigid thinking is unable to consider alternative perspectives or adapt their views. This inflexibility can lead to a narrow understanding of situations and magnify their own emotional experiences, making it difficult for them to manage their feelings effectively,” Dixon shares.

4. Reacting Poorly to Criticism

No matter if you’re pointing something out causally or bluntly telling an emotionally immature person something they did wrong, they won’t have a good reaction.

“They don’t take feedback well,” Ramsey explains. “You can share something with them, even if it’s true, and they still won’t accept it. Because of that, it’s hard to have a relationship with them because you can’t really tell them anything.”

5. Being Self-Centered

“An emotionally immature individual often displays self-centered behavior, showing little regard for others’ feelings or experiences,” Dixon tells Parade. “This focus on themselves can blind them to the emotional needs of those around them, making it hard to form meaningful connections.”

6. Becoming Easily Angry

While it’s natural to get upset in certain situations, a person who is emotionally immature gets mad a lot more than normal, which is a mistake they make that is really hard to navigate when you’re dating them.

“A person who is emotionally immature, will get mad over the slightest things,” Ramsey warns. “They can’t regulate their emotions.”

7. Not Knowing How To Show Empathy

Having a relationship of any kind with an emotionally immature person can be difficult because they aren’t able to connect with people the same way and sympathize with them in situations.

Okay so how does one cope with this kind of behavior?

 

[Twostep]

Sounds like all of mankind.

 

[Mr. Ed]

Adventures in human nature

 

[David777]

More on below link. One needs to understand per my OP, a typical description of emotionally immature people varies because life in our modern societies is complex, thus is not rigid. Nor are such behaviors immediately obvious, so may require time to understand by being aware of how they act, giving them the benefit of doubt. We all have bad days we may regret over how we acted, then if wise learn. Another example of how this varies involves "enablers". As noted above, this person once patterns become obvious, just avoids such persons. Any of the below sound like someone you know?

Understanding Immature Adults and Ways to Handle Them.

Understanding Immature Adults and Ways to Handle Them.
snippets:

...Here are a few examples, not a complete list, of signs of emotional immaturity I have seen over the years.

• Someone allows a friend to move in for a few days, and the friend won’t leave. The host is miserable, their life is disrupted, and it costs them money, but ridiculous justifications prevent them from setting a healthy boundary and forcing the person to leave.
• A person is verbally and emotionally abused by their grown sibling and continues to go back for more, because “it’s family.”
• A woman in a relationship with a man who cheats on and abuses her, and she claims she’s helpless to do anything about it.
• People in jobs or careers and have families but enjoy a partying social life that disrupts their health and relationships.
• Anyone who whines and complains without taking action to change it.
• Emotionally reactive in the extreme. Yelling, snapping, a temper tantrum, name-calling, shaming, pouting, refusing to speak.
• People who seek revenge and/or say, “I don’t get mad, I get even.”
• Any adult says, “He/She/They won’t let me.”
• Blamers and who won’t take responsibility for their actions.
• People who don’t take care of themselves.
• Talkers, not doers.
• Grown son, sits at home playing video games with a package of jellied donuts by his side, while his parents work long hours.
• Afraid to be alone.
• Will not work even though the family needs the money.

...Almost always there is an enabling factor, someone who provides sustenance, shelter, and sometimes, coddling. Just like a crutch used to help a person with a bum leg walk, their assistance allows the emotionally immature person to survive without growing up. Ironically, the enabler is an emotionally immature person as well, just in different ways...

 

[Paco Dennis]

Okay so how does one cope with this kind of behavior?

Good ?. To some degree all of us are emotionally immature. I know I am. Dealing with hard emotions are part of my everyday world. When I respond to someone, many times my selfish emotions are involved. I am not Spock.

To cope :
Understand my feelings
Listen patiently
Respond truthfully
Do my best to not get emotionally upset
Tell them to buzz off and walk away.

 

[Remy]

Okay so how does one cope with this kind of behavior?

Some YouTube videos don't hurt. I like this guy, he has some good advice.

One of his videos stated if someone says something really off or nasty to you, ask them to repeat it. Say "what did you say" or what was that again." He said most times they won't repeat the nasty they said. I've yet to try this. Also anything in dealing with narcissists.

I'm convinced I have a co-worker who is a borderline like my mother. She wields too much power at work while abusing smoke breaks. No, I can't diagnose, but I can say when behavior is familiar.

Jefferson Fisher

 

[Nathan]

Very relevant topic, the first paragraph of the article defines the behavioral set well:

Emotional maturity isn’t a switch you can just flick on once you hit a certain age—it’s more like a muscle you need to exercise. It’s an ongoing process, one that requires introspection, a willingness to grow, and sometimes confronting uncomfortable truths about how you respond to life’s challenges. While some might think that reaching certain milestones automatically means you’ve matured emotionally, true emotional growth is measured by your ability to manage complexity, navigate tough conversations and handle stress with composure.

Coping with those like this can be challenging, I wonder how such people can be helped to change?

Almost always there is an enabling factor, someone who provides sustenance, shelter, and sometimes, coddling. Just like a crutch used to help a person with a bum leg walk, their assistance allows the emotionally immature person to survive without growing up. Ironically, the enabler is an emotionally immature person as well, just in different ways...

Interesting point.

 

[dilettante]

There are so many national, cultural, gender, and age differences that the premise is terribly flawed.

Then there is the situational. Are you dealing with a close family member, a stranger, best friend, close associate? Are you in a corporate meeting room, on a physically demanding work site where risk of injury or death depends on full awareness fast reactions and explicit clarity, on a competitive sports field, a boxing ring, a battlefield, a technically demanding job?

The world is not a pink-collar office, a Kindergarten, or a rest home petting cats all day. Eloi dreams notwithstanding.

I just looked at the sources. "Parade?" "Medium?" Are you kidding me? Credibility: Zero.

 

[HermitHogan]

With some people, everything's a crisis. They deal with every task on an emotional level rather than trying to reason out a solution. I've had to work with people like that. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and tell them to just calm the f*ck down. And if they didn't, I'd just get up and walk away.

There was always at least one person like that wherever I've worked.

 

[StarSong]

I've yet to know an adult human being, myself included, who hasn't exhibited these behaviors from time to time. Guess we're all emotionally immature.

 

[Olivia]

There are so many national, cultural, gender, and age differences that the premise is terribly flawed.

Then there is the situational. Are you dealing with a close family member, a stranger, best friend, close associate? Are you in a corporate meeting room, on a physically demanding work site where risk of injury or death depends on full awareness fast reactions and explicit clarity, on a competitive sports field, a boxing ring, a battlefield, a technically demanding job?

The world is not a pink-collar office, a Kindergarten, or a rest home petting cats all day. Eloi dreams notwithstanding.

I just looked at the sources. "Parade?" "Medium?" Are you kidding me? Credibility: Zero.

I don't believe an individual can read this list, recognize themselves, and decide to fix themselves the best they can. lt's going to take way more than that. Probably professional help.

 

[papa tiger]

The Sun "Rises" n "Sets" U got bullies and cowards. The difference is the Bully has 3 cowards with him.
------------
Ya got a Billionaire, he's got 1000's of cowards with him.
--------
.01 of the 18,000,000 Vets are very wealthy and have served in the USA military. Thank you 180,000 for your service also

 

[Lavinia]

I think these sort of people are now diagnosed as autistic. Personally, I think this is wrong as it is more of a personality disorder, not an illness. People like this find themselves more and more isolated, as they are so difficult to deal with.
My husband was exactly like this but it was partly because he was the youngest child and his family encouraged his childish behaviour. Something which was interesting was his inability to think logically. Everything had to be explained to him. He refused to face up to reality.

 

[hearlady]

Good ?. To some degree all of us are emotionally immature. I know I am. Dealing with hard emotions are part of my everyday world. When I respond to someone, many times my selfish emotions are involved. I am not Spock.

To cope :
Understand my feelings
Listen patiently
Respond truthfully
Do my best to not get emotionally upset
Tell them to buzz off and walk away.

I'm learning to acknowledge what I'm feeling then ask myself if it's justified. If it's not, then why am I feeling it. What's behind it?
If it is justified what is the next step. And then tell them to buzz off and walk away.

 

[papa tiger]

Is it risk taking that makes the human feel alive?
Maybe its incurable stupidity?

 

[Inept]

Brief points at this psychology link provide a good summary of common behaviors of emotionally immature people. One is more likely to encounter such people in non-professional and working class environments because in corporate workplaces they won't likely succeed. Personally, I tend to avoid overly emotional others.

7 Mistakes That Emotionally Immature People Often Make, According to Psychologists
snippets:

1. Not Communicating Well

Trying to communicate about something important with someone who is emotionally immature can be a hassle and can be one of the reasons why their relationships don’t usually last very long due to the confusion that arises.

“An emotionally immature person often struggles to understand their own feelings and those of others,” Dixon states. “This lack of insight can lead to confusion about their emotional experiences and hinder their ability to communicate effectively. When someone is unaware of how their emotions affect their behavior, it can create misunderstandings in relationships.”

2. Becoming Overly Clingy

While it’s nice being in a relationship with someone who wants to be around you, emotionally immature people sometimes take it to the next level of clinginess because oftentimes, they don’t like to give someone they’re in a relationship much space.

“They become easily attached to people,” Ramsey reveals. “They might become overly clingy because they don’t know how to be without that person.”

3. Rigid Thinking

It’s very difficult to get an emotionally immature person to see any other viewpoint than their own. Because of the fact that they tend to be very black and white about things and always think they are right, maintaining a healthy relationship is very hard.

“A person who exhibits rigid thinking is unable to consider alternative perspectives or adapt their views. This inflexibility can lead to a narrow understanding of situations and magnify their own emotional experiences, making it difficult for them to manage their feelings effectively,” Dixon shares.

4. Reacting Poorly to Criticism

No matter if you’re pointing something out causally or bluntly telling an emotionally immature person something they did wrong, they won’t have a good reaction.

“They don’t take feedback well,” Ramsey explains. “You can share something with them, even if it’s true, and they still won’t accept it. Because of that, it’s hard to have a relationship with them because you can’t really tell them anything.”

5. Being Self-Centered

“An emotionally immature individual often displays self-centered behavior, showing little regard for others’ feelings or experiences,” Dixon tells Parade. “This focus on themselves can blind them to the emotional needs of those around them, making it hard to form meaningful connections.”

6. Becoming Easily Angry

While it’s natural to get upset in certain situations, a person who is emotionally immature gets mad a lot more than normal, which is a mistake they make that is really hard to navigate when you’re dating them.

“A person who is emotionally immature, will get mad over the slightest things,” Ramsey warns. “They can’t regulate their emotions.”

7. Not Knowing How To Show Empathy

Having a relationship of any kind with an emotionally immature person can be difficult because they aren’t able to connect with people the same way and sympathize with them in situations.

The author hasn't crossed the "t"s or dotted the "i"s, so it seems clear to me that he himself is "Emotionally Immature".

 

[David777]

The author hasn't crossed the "t"s or dotted the "i"s, so it seems clear to me that he himself is "Emotionally Immature".

Was predictable as someone new to this board that I've made critical comments about your posts on other threads including warning other members not to feed some of your posts on earlier threads as troll-like that after you were never able to bait me after several tries, into responding, that frustrated, you'd eventually begin to make personal attacks.

That is what immature emotional people do, "get even", something you've already posted elsewhere you admittedly have had issues with on other boards. So to attack me instead of something of substance, you've made an abstraction of the title using argumentum ad hominem, name calling, because then I can't defend anything because there isn't anything to defend except that it bothers you. And that hurts one's ego when one realizes they may be one the topic points to. So will suggest backing off because NO, I won't be baited nor pulled into some flaming game.

 

[oslooskar]

Was predictable as someone new to this board that I've made critical comments about your posts on other threads including warning other members not to feed some of your posts on earlier threads as troll-like that after you were never able to bait me after several tries, into responding, that frustrated, you'd eventually begin to make personal attacks.

That is what immature emotional people do, "get even", something you've already posted elsewhere you admittedly have had issues with on other boards. So to attack me instead of something of substance, you've made an abstraction of the title using argumentum ad hominem, name calling, because then I can't defend anything because there isn't anything to defend except that it bothers you. And that hurts one's ego when one realizes they may be one the topic points to. So will suggest backing off because NO, I won't be baited nor pulled into some flaming game.

David, I noticed your comment, and while I understand your intent to maintain the moral high ground, it seems there’s an inconsistency in how the situation has unfolded. You mentioned warning others about Inept’s posts by labeling them as “troll-like.” While it’s acceptable to challenge the content of someone’s arguments, shifting the focus to labeling their behavior or intentions takes the discussion into personal territory.

This creates a contradiction in your stance, especially since you’re now criticizing Inept for resorting to personal attacks and emotional retaliation. By labeling his posts as troll-like, you arguably made a personal judgment rather than addressing the substance of Inept's arguments, which undermines the very principle you seem to be advocating for.

So, if the goal is to take the high road and focus on constructive discourse, it might have been more effective to engage purely with the arguments presented, without any personal characterizations. Otherwise, it risks appearing as though you’re engaging in the very behavior you’re criticizing.

 

[gruntlabor]

I'm learning to acknowledge what I'm feeling then ask myself if it's justified. If it's not, then why am I feeling it. What's behind it?
If it is justified what is the next step. And then tell them to buzz off and walk away.

I never tell them to 'buzz off'. That would just cause more problems.

I note the incident and forget it, BUT I do remember that that person is not my friend. And I am grateful to know it.

 

[gruntlabor]

... high road and focus on constructive discourse, it might have been more effective to engage purely with the arguments presented, without any personal characterizations. Otherwise, it risks appearing as though you’re engaging in the very behavior you’re criticizing.

These people --baiters, trolls, can't be argued with. They just repeat the same points over and over

 

[Inept]

Was predictable as someone new to this board that I've made critical comments about your posts on other threads including warning other members not to feed some of your posts on earlier threads as troll-like that after you were never able to bait me after several tries, into responding, that frustrated, you'd eventually begin to make personal attacks.

That is what immature emotional people do, "get even", something you've already posted elsewhere you admittedly have had issues with on other boards. So to attack me instead of something of substance, you've made an abstraction of the title using argumentum ad hominem, name calling, because then I can't defend anything because there isn't anything to defend except that it bothers you. And that hurts one's ego when one realizes they may be one the topic points to. So will suggest backing off because NO, I won't be baited nor pulled into some flaming game..

The subject (your very own) is “Emotionally Immature People”. Correct? Fundamentally, we are talking about emotional stimulation expressed by those who (by definition or by comparison) are immature or less mature than others by some unspecified ‘norm’, generally calculated by age or perhaps experience. Am I on the right track? To put it in a simpler way, emotional immaturity is unnecessary emotional response, putting weight on irrelevant conditions and responding to them. An example might be the following:

Personally, I tend to avoid overly emotional others.

If we use that as a point of reference to emotional response wouldn’t someone who isn’t concerned with what others think (and feels no compulsion to “blow his own horn” over the matter) be more mature? Of course that would indicate that the one who needs to express his/her avoidance is less mature. We are speaking about emotions, right? It’s written in your OP so I will assume I am correct.

Was predictable as someone new to this board that I've made critical comments about your posts on other threads including warning other members not to feed some of your posts on earlier threads as troll-like that after you were never able to bait me after several tries, into responding, that frustrated, you'd eventually begin to make personal attacks.

Oh, that’s nice. Do you not realize that you’ve just “personally attacked” me? I didn’t attack you unless you are the author of the OP quote. Are you? In any case, that was no attack but rather academic criticism.

Moving on, is it your point that I am “new to this board” that upsets you most? And really ……. seriously …… where does the "troll-like" factor, "ego", "frustration", and "get even" come into the picture? I have to say, in all honesty, that your response displays emotionally immature behaviour, as far as I can tell. With all do respect, I am trying to follow your lead as described in your OP intro. Would you like to discuss it or would you rather side-step my input by calling it troll-like and just bail out?

 

[Paco Dennis]

I never tell them to 'buzz off'. That would just cause more problems.

I note the incident and forget it, BUT I do remember that that person is not my friend. And I am grateful to know it.

That's ironic because I never tell people to buzz off, but I said I did. A very strange kind of joke. Being so controlled about dealing with my immaturity and then act "adolescent" to walk away like the "cock of the walk". was stupid, unless anyone could understand the diversion. This all has got quite microscopic all of a sudden.

 

[oslooskar]

These people --baiters, trolls, can't be argued with. They just repeat the same points over and over

My father told me many years ago, 'We do not challenge those individuals whose ideas we disagree with; we challenge their ideas.'"

 

[Paco Dennis]

My father told me many years ago, 'We do not challenge those individuals whose ideas we disagree with; we challenge their ideas.'"

I see what your father is saying. It isn't the person you are objecting to , it is their ideas. I feel like my ideas define who I am. Especially the ideas I have of myself. The case in point, on who is being the immature troll, can only be defined by mud slinging insults. The best aim wins.