hearlady
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Behaviors of Emotionally Immature People
- Thread starter David777
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Mr. Ed
Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
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Human behavior never ceases to amaze me.
Mr. Ed
Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
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What kind of copier? HP or Brother or IBM. Personally I prefer HPI just said that because @Paco Dennis did and I like to copy him.I'm a copier.
Mr. Ed
Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
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- Central NY
It is easier to point the finger elsewhere but when we point the finger inward is when we realize we were pointing the finger inward all along.
gruntlabor
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I hate HP. I prefer hearlady.
CallMeKate
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When we point out the faults of others while having the same faults ourselves, it's a psychological defense mechanism called projection. Interesting study material.
gruntlabor
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- Last Frontier, Age 83
I don't know about 'projection', but the small niggling jealous mind knows it is inferior. It soothes itself by finding and revealing flaws in superior people..
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David777
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- Silicon Valley
Will suggest other members also identify any others on threads, that likewise emotionally post in troll like ways, because as noted, IGNORING THEM, is what they dislike most regardless of how much they will try emotionally baiting those they disagree with or how easily one might negate their predictably expected defensive arguments or how much they twist yours. Trolls posting tend dig their own obvious holes, become bored, notice their inputs are generally disagreed with, and go elsewhere without needing to be pushed by others. So, DON'T FEED TROLLS or be baited into responding.
David777
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- Silicon Valley
At this point will re-post the snippet list from my second post that tersely lists what one psychiatrist thought were examples of how emotionally immature persons might act. This time with numeration one can just refer to instead of restating whole sentences.
1. Someone allows a friend to move in for a few days, and the friend won’t leave. The host is miserable, their life is disrupted, and it costs them money, but ridiculous justifications prevent them from setting a healthy boundary and forcing the person to leave.
2. A person is verbally and emotionally abused by their grown sibling and continues to go back for more, because “it’s family.”
3. A woman in a relationship with a man who cheats on and abuses her, and she claims she’s helpless to do anything about it.
4. People in jobs or careers and have families but enjoy a partying social life that disrupts their health and relationships.
5. Anyone who whines and complains without taking action to change it.
6. Emotionally reactive in the extreme. Yelling, snapping, a temper tantrum, name-calling, shaming, pouting, refusing to speak.
7. People who seek revenge and/or say, “I don’t get mad, I get even.
8. Any adult says, “He/She/They won’t let me.”
9. Blamers and who won’t take responsibility for their actions.
10. People who don’t take care of themselves.
11. Talkers, not doers.
12. Grown son, sits at home playing video games with a package of jellied donuts by his side, while his parents work long hours.
13. Afraid to be alone.
14. Will not work even though the family needs the money.
A question for each is, to hypothetically provide examples of how any might be categorized with motivations as emotionally immature? To start, I'll give a couple examples below and could do so to each of the above though some might not always be due to emotional immaturity.
For example #9 above, is a clear example of OP item 4 reacting defensively without adequately as an adult bothering to reasonably consider what other parties may be offering, even if done so calmly, constructively. Often done so immediately, as though any personal criticism by others is an attack they immaturely react to without consideration. And that usually comes with emotion because of OP item 6 also tending to be overly emotional, easily angered an immature reaction even when they ought not be. And once they are so angered, it is usually futile trying to reason with such persons until they later calm down if ever.
At work places, managers, tend to be very perceptive to ways their new employees might react with emotional immaturity during annual reviews that also reflects item 1. A wise person upon hearing such criticism ought first explain how they understand what is related has merit and then with adequate relative terms add other factors in play.
For example #7 above, may be those, often in working environments, that also tend to hold long grudges even for seemingly petty reasons that even though one may have since whatever, seemed to have developed a friendly cooperative team relations with, when they see clear ways to hurt the other person, often indirectly with innuendo behind their back, work to hurt the other person that has obviously been quietly emotionally grating and gnawing at them in the background as they otherwise mask their real feelings directly they cannot let go, due to item 6 emotional immaturity. May sometimes involve "company politics" that is a bit different with emotional motivations when those involved are vying for higher power and pay positions.
That also can play out in male/female relationships where one party after months of what had been apparent peaceful relations that one had thought were resolved on both sides with meaningful conversation, suddenly upon some new emotional situation, drags out much old supposedly resolved emotional laundry again, an example of emotional immaturity most adults learn to leave alone once resolved earlier.
1. Someone allows a friend to move in for a few days, and the friend won’t leave. The host is miserable, their life is disrupted, and it costs them money, but ridiculous justifications prevent them from setting a healthy boundary and forcing the person to leave.
2. A person is verbally and emotionally abused by their grown sibling and continues to go back for more, because “it’s family.”
3. A woman in a relationship with a man who cheats on and abuses her, and she claims she’s helpless to do anything about it.
4. People in jobs or careers and have families but enjoy a partying social life that disrupts their health and relationships.
5. Anyone who whines and complains without taking action to change it.
6. Emotionally reactive in the extreme. Yelling, snapping, a temper tantrum, name-calling, shaming, pouting, refusing to speak.
7. People who seek revenge and/or say, “I don’t get mad, I get even.
8. Any adult says, “He/She/They won’t let me.”
9. Blamers and who won’t take responsibility for their actions.
10. People who don’t take care of themselves.
11. Talkers, not doers.
12. Grown son, sits at home playing video games with a package of jellied donuts by his side, while his parents work long hours.
13. Afraid to be alone.
14. Will not work even though the family needs the money.
A question for each is, to hypothetically provide examples of how any might be categorized with motivations as emotionally immature? To start, I'll give a couple examples below and could do so to each of the above though some might not always be due to emotional immaturity.
For example #9 above, is a clear example of OP item 4 reacting defensively without adequately as an adult bothering to reasonably consider what other parties may be offering, even if done so calmly, constructively. Often done so immediately, as though any personal criticism by others is an attack they immaturely react to without consideration. And that usually comes with emotion because of OP item 6 also tending to be overly emotional, easily angered an immature reaction even when they ought not be. And once they are so angered, it is usually futile trying to reason with such persons until they later calm down if ever.
At work places, managers, tend to be very perceptive to ways their new employees might react with emotional immaturity during annual reviews that also reflects item 1. A wise person upon hearing such criticism ought first explain how they understand what is related has merit and then with adequate relative terms add other factors in play.
For example #7 above, may be those, often in working environments, that also tend to hold long grudges even for seemingly petty reasons that even though one may have since whatever, seemed to have developed a friendly cooperative team relations with, when they see clear ways to hurt the other person, often indirectly with innuendo behind their back, work to hurt the other person that has obviously been quietly emotionally grating and gnawing at them in the background as they otherwise mask their real feelings directly they cannot let go, due to item 6 emotional immaturity. May sometimes involve "company politics" that is a bit different with emotional motivations when those involved are vying for higher power and pay positions.
That also can play out in male/female relationships where one party after months of what had been apparent peaceful relations that one had thought were resolved on both sides with meaningful conversation, suddenly upon some new emotional situation, drags out much old supposedly resolved emotional laundry again, an example of emotional immaturity most adults learn to leave alone once resolved earlier.
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Mr. Ed
Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
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- Central NY
Example #10 people who don't take care of themselves could be depressed or ill, not necessarily emotionally immature. While you give excellent examples of emotionally immature behaviors, what hope to achieve from your list of human flaws. It seems you are particularly annoyed by these behaviors and have very little with people who display these behaviors.
Granted it may be difficult dealing with less fortunate people than ourselves. However they deserve a place on earth the same as you and I. Be patient, we don't know why people act the way they do.
Granted it may be difficult dealing with less fortunate people than ourselves. However they deserve a place on earth the same as you and I. Be patient, we don't know why people act the way they do.
Paco Dennis
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- Mid-Missouri
In fact labeling is a way to detach from empathizing with the person. We use a different part of the brain to label things. The putting behaviors into categories is a left brain job. When we are doing this we are not considering the feelings of the other person.
I think a different way to deal with anyone we encounter is to try to understand who they are and what their feelings and thoughts are. To have dialogue with them about their lives. It won't be like ours, so we need to be patient and get to know them. Most all of the "flaws" we attribute to someone else are flaws that we have. How else would we know what they mean?
I think a different way to deal with anyone we encounter is to try to understand who they are and what their feelings and thoughts are. To have dialogue with them about their lives. It won't be like ours, so we need to be patient and get to know them. Most all of the "flaws" we attribute to someone else are flaws that we have. How else would we know what they mean?
gruntlabor
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Emotionally immature (not to say emotionally ill or unstable) people cause wars, famine, misery and all manner of evil in the world. The last thing they deserve is our patience or credence.
David777
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@Pepper is: "OP reeks of Superiority Complex."
Should be: "The OP snippets reeks of potential Superiority Complex if narrowly interpreted in more extreme black and white ways than the author intended."
You have already admitted elsewhere that you rarely read links in posts. The snippets in my post I always italicize, aren't my writings but rather from the link Parade website's author, Morgan McMurrin. Nor are those ideas I rigidly personally accept, but generally agree with as she surveyed two notable psychologists. The same general points can be found on several other websites one can Google discussing emotional maturity. Thus will assume you probably only read what I tersely included in my OP instead of the more thorough thoughtful essay discussion of the science writer at the link as expected. Parade is the the digital media version of the decades old top rated pop culture and multimedia periodical.
So for your sake, I will below add the writer's opening paragraphs and encourage reading at least a bit beyond the below at the Parade link as she continues to support how to carefully assess such people:
Emotional maturity isn’t a switch you can just flick on once you hit a certain age—it’s more like a muscle you need to exercise. It’s an ongoing process, one that requires introspection, a willingness to grow, and sometimes confronting uncomfortable truths about how you respond to life’s challenges. While some might think that reaching certain milestones automatically means you’ve matured emotionally, true emotional growth is measured by your ability to manage complexity, navigate tough conversations and handle stress with composure.
However, for some people, emotional maturity can be harder to reach and leave them stuck in a teenage-like mindset. When this happens, they struggle to handle their emotions in a healthy way despite continuing to get older. For these individuals, emotional growth can feel like a constant struggle where they try to move forward, but always fall back into old habits.
Over time, the mistakes they continually make surrounding their emotions can result in missed opportunities and fractured romances. To find out more about the blunders often made by emotionally immature people, we spoke with psychologist and podcast host Dr. Kiki Ramsey and psychologist, speaker and author Dr. Patricia Dixon. They break down everything you need to know about emotional immaturity, from the telltale signs to the underlying patterns that drive it, offering insights into how to recognize it and how to deal.
Dixion tells Parade that sometimes people mix up the term “emotional immaturity” with other phrases because they think they all mean the same thing.
“It’s important to distinguish between emotional unavailability and emotional immaturity,” she notes. “Emotional unavailability often stems from life circumstances, while emotional immaturity is rooted in a lack of emotional awareness and development.”
Should be: "The OP snippets reeks of potential Superiority Complex if narrowly interpreted in more extreme black and white ways than the author intended."
You have already admitted elsewhere that you rarely read links in posts. The snippets in my post I always italicize, aren't my writings but rather from the link Parade website's author, Morgan McMurrin. Nor are those ideas I rigidly personally accept, but generally agree with as she surveyed two notable psychologists. The same general points can be found on several other websites one can Google discussing emotional maturity. Thus will assume you probably only read what I tersely included in my OP instead of the more thorough thoughtful essay discussion of the science writer at the link as expected. Parade is the the digital media version of the decades old top rated pop culture and multimedia periodical.
So for your sake, I will below add the writer's opening paragraphs and encourage reading at least a bit beyond the below at the Parade link as she continues to support how to carefully assess such people:
Emotional maturity isn’t a switch you can just flick on once you hit a certain age—it’s more like a muscle you need to exercise. It’s an ongoing process, one that requires introspection, a willingness to grow, and sometimes confronting uncomfortable truths about how you respond to life’s challenges. While some might think that reaching certain milestones automatically means you’ve matured emotionally, true emotional growth is measured by your ability to manage complexity, navigate tough conversations and handle stress with composure.
However, for some people, emotional maturity can be harder to reach and leave them stuck in a teenage-like mindset. When this happens, they struggle to handle their emotions in a healthy way despite continuing to get older. For these individuals, emotional growth can feel like a constant struggle where they try to move forward, but always fall back into old habits.
Over time, the mistakes they continually make surrounding their emotions can result in missed opportunities and fractured romances. To find out more about the blunders often made by emotionally immature people, we spoke with psychologist and podcast host Dr. Kiki Ramsey and psychologist, speaker and author Dr. Patricia Dixon. They break down everything you need to know about emotional immaturity, from the telltale signs to the underlying patterns that drive it, offering insights into how to recognize it and how to deal.
Dixion tells Parade that sometimes people mix up the term “emotional immaturity” with other phrases because they think they all mean the same thing.
“It’s important to distinguish between emotional unavailability and emotional immaturity,” she notes. “Emotional unavailability often stems from life circumstances, while emotional immaturity is rooted in a lack of emotional awareness and development.”
David777
Well-known Member
- Location
- Silicon Valley
Should be:
It is easier to point the finger elsewhere but SOMETIMES when I and some others point the finger inward is when I and some others realize we were pointing the finger inward all along.
In other words, that position ought not be posed as a black and white, rigid assessment. Suggest folks read my following recent helpful thread where I recommend those posting on community web boards develop a habit of using relative terms. There is a natural tendency to use absolutes in casual conversation because one's mind associates such terms with more certainty as emphasis.
In conversation, using relative terms versus absolutes
dilettante
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I keep wondering... "How expensive can ESL classes be?"
David777
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Actually as noted, I avoid, flow away from, such people instead of allowing them to annoy me that is generally calm, controlled, unemotional by a long career habit. It is true SOME people have a poor ability to understand the mind thoughts of others while others like psychiatrists have been trained to reasonably valuably do so, while others in our adult world learn through experience and empathy, wise approaches to interpersonal communication. Such is reflected in how some of the best become successful people managers in the corporate work world.
David777
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Back to addressing examples per post #34, Item 14 reflects on #5. Being Self-Centered
Usually others within an extended family may periodically try to motivate breadwinners stuck in a rut of their own making that ignores their responsibility to dependents. But the way the person reacts may tend to immaturely emotionally be one of ignoring whatever, refusing to confront what they ought do even though others may have clearly explained how to. As though their emotional pain has inhibited their ability to do anything and instead just sulk, pout, feel like a victim, often substituting meaningful actions with diversions like playing video games, eating, or watching TV. Also those around such persons may unintentionally act as enablers making that person more easily stay in their rut. Especially in cases of substance abuse where the enabler won't say NO and set boundaries.
https://psychcentral.com/health/are-you-an-enabler
Usually others within an extended family may periodically try to motivate breadwinners stuck in a rut of their own making that ignores their responsibility to dependents. But the way the person reacts may tend to immaturely emotionally be one of ignoring whatever, refusing to confront what they ought do even though others may have clearly explained how to. As though their emotional pain has inhibited their ability to do anything and instead just sulk, pout, feel like a victim, often substituting meaningful actions with diversions like playing video games, eating, or watching TV. Also those around such persons may unintentionally act as enablers making that person more easily stay in their rut. Especially in cases of substance abuse where the enabler won't say NO and set boundaries.
https://psychcentral.com/health/are-you-an-enabler
Paco Dennis
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To evaluate whether a person is emotionally mature or immature or in between somewhere is quite a hobby. It has been going on for a whole lotta years. "Before you try to remove the speck from your brothers eye, remove the log that is your own."
It has been going on for a whole lotta years. "Before you try to remove the speck from your brothers eye, remove the log that is your own."
I feed them plenty ...... enough till they choke, get "defensive, frustrated, and begin to make personal attacks". I like to call it "emotionally immature". They seem to think they are "getting even" for some imagined grudge but that's when I drop the axe.
Those are wise words. It's too bad that not more people understand what it means.To evaluate whether a person is emotionally mature or immature or in between somewhere is quite a hobby.
gruntlabor
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No, you're not, Pepper. You're fun and engaging and alive. And I bet even more so in person.
gruntlabor
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They certainly are wise. As are most words sourced from the Bible.Those are wise words. It's too bad that not more people understand what it means.