Being Raised with "Weird" Childhood Rules

We grew up pretty poor, but we were mostly happy. We didn't have a kitchen table, but a picnic table with two benches. You got your own plate and filled it from the pot on the stove.

As far as weird rules, I don't really recall any. My mom always said us kids weren't any trouble growing up.

The only rule I remember is we had to come home when the church bells rang at 6 o'clock.
 
We had rules, not sure how "weird" they were.
We also had chores, with a "Work before play" rule.
Bedtime at 8pm.
Accept responsibility for your actions.
Respect your elders; do not call them by their first name, unless it is Aunt Kathy or Uncle Joe
Use "Yes, mam and No, sir" when speaking to adults.
Don't roll your eyes, it is disrespectful.
No phone calls coming in or going out after 8pm or before 9am; 15 minute limit on phone calls with friends.
Don't put your elbows on the table when eating.
Ask to be excused from the table.
No whining.
Never allowed to hit or fight physically with siblings.
If you want a car, buy it yourself, get your own insurance and learn to change the oil, maintain it, and pay for your own gas.
Get a job asap and keep your grades B and higher.
No friends in the house when parents are not home.
The: "If I hear from a teacher that you have been a problem, the teacher isn't going to be half your problem" rule.
Cannot date before age 16.
Cannot date anyone more than 2 years older than us or military guys at the bases.
Cannot shave legs, or wear makeup before age 14.
Skirts cannot be shorter than your fingertips; no hotpants; no go-go boots.
Don't use the dishwasher, "I have four daughters for dishwashing".
Do a job right the first time, or you will have to do it over twice.
If it isn't yours, don't touch it.
Knock for permission to open a door.
Take a bath every night before bedtime.
Don't come home with anything below a C on your report card or you will regret it.
No sodas.
No snacks.
Be in by midnight on Friday and Saturday nights.
Don't tell me you are bored or I will find something for you to do.
Don't come home pregnant.
When you turn 18, you either go to college or get in the military or get married; if you live at home, you must be in college and have a job, pay some room and board of $25.00 a week.
Don't ask to borrow money.
No loud music.
No TV except in the living room.
Homework before bedtime.
Saturday mornings are family work days for laundry, grocery shopping, yard work, cleaning and scrubbing for everyone and everyone works until everything is done.
You have to be running a temperature to miss school.
Don't put more food on your plate than you will finish.
Play with dogs, you get fleas; you reflect the company you keep.
Don't make me say it twice.
If you ever end up in jail, don't call us.
Before you go on a date, the boy must come in and meet us; gentlemen don't sit at the curb and honk the horn for my daughters.
A boy must ask for a date at least a week before the date.
Probably forgot a few....no one had arguments at the dinner table; dinner was at 5:30 we girls always made dinner as Mom and Dad worked.
 
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I was raised on a small dairy farm, so we stuck to a schedule for everything.

There was always conversation at the dinner table but it was quiet conversation. If I wanted to interject without one of my parents asking a question, I had to ask permission to speak.

I raised my son that way and my 19 years younger brother pretty much raised his kids that way.

I donā€™t regret one bit how I was raised. I was one lucky farm kid. I have sympathy for those who werenā€™t as fortunate to have a good family environment.
 
Pepper said:
Nope. Not speaking with you without an apology. Otherwise, don't bother.
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An apology? Why?
hollydolly said:
well we never got hugs, or kisses or I love you's... the nearest I got to it, was when my mother said that I was her favourite child because I was her first born...

Ultimately when I became an adult I didn't know how to express outward emotions like hugs etc... except for with my baby... I had to learn it all.. and even to this day I'm not comfortable with anyone hugging me..I tend to freeze...

However ..I never becaame a conspiracy theorist..definitely not a Narcissists ..with or without a substance abuse problem.

Honestly I had a terrible childhood.. one of the worst which was barely survivable... yet I hear people who use their abusive childhoods as excuses for their bad behavior as an adult... that's all it is, an excuse..

I understand them feeling certain emotions as I do like with the hugs, etc.. but turning into narcissism, some into killers, some others into abusers.. alcoholics..that's a lifestyle choice... and it's handy to blame somebody else for it..
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Agree. I think it creates reliance and empathy.
hollydolly said:
When I was a toddler , my parents allowed us to play outside in the road, with no supervision. We were expected to be back home at a certain time.. usually 5pm .. I was too young to tell the time, and I was told by my father i should ask someone, anyone.. the time.. and that's what I did...

Now bear in mind at age 2 I'd been abducted from the streets.. and found drugged at midnight left in the middle of the road, and only found by a sharp eyed bus driver going back to the garage at the end of his shift.. it mattered not to my parents.. they still wanted me when I was 4 and 5 years old, to ask a stranger... the time...

You couldn't make it up could you ?
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You and I need to write a book. I've had people say I should write a book, when they hear about what I call "Nothing but speed bumps". Nuclear war would not faze me and I know I'd survive.
 
CooCooforCoCoPuffs said:
An apology? Why?

Agree. I think it creates reliance and empathy.

You and I need to write a book. I've had people say I should write a book, when they hear about what I call "Nothing but speed bumps". Nuclear war would not faze me and I know I'd survive.
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yep people who know mch of my story have often over the years tried to encourage me to write a book. I couldn't tbh...I just could not relive it all again so vivdly to be able to write it authentically.. I would have a breakdown I think...
 
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CooCooforCoCoPuffs said:
We had rules, not sure how "weird" they were.
We also had chores, with a "Work before play" rule.
Bedtime at 8pm.
Accept responsibility for your actions.
Respect your elders; do not call them by their first name, unless it is Aunt Kathy or Uncle Joe
Use "Yes, mam and No, sir" when speaking to adults.
Don't roll your eyes, it is disrespectful.
No phone calls coming in or going out after 8pm or before 9am; 15 minute limit on phone calls with friends.
Don't put your elbows on the table when eating.
Ask to be excused from the table.
No whining.
Never allowed to hit or fight physically with siblings.
If you want a car, buy it yourself, get your own insurance and learn to change the oil, maintain it, and pay for your own gas.
Get a job asap and keep your grades B and higher.
No friends in the house when parents are not home.
The: "If I hear from a teacher that you have been a problem, the teacher isn't going to be half your problem" rule.
Cannot date before age 16.
Cannot date anyone more than 2 years older than us or military guys at the bases.
Cannot shave legs, or wear makeup before age 14.
Skirts cannot be shorter than your fingertips; no hotpants; no go-go boots.
Don't use the dishwasher, "I have four daughters for dishwashing".
Do a job right the first time, or you will have to do it over twice.
If it isn't yours, don't touch it.
Knock for permission to open a door.
Take a bath every night before bedtime.
Don't come home with anything below a C on your report card or you will regret it.
No sodas.
No snacks.
Be in by midnight on Friday and Saturday nights.
Don't tell me you are bored or I will find something for you to do.
Don't come home pregnant.
When you turn 18, you either go to college or get in the military or get married; if you live at home, you must be in college and have a job, pay some room and board of $25.00 a week.
Don't ask to borrow money.
No loud music.
No TV except in the living room.
Homework before bedtime.
Saturday mornings are family work days for laundry, grocery shopping, yard work, cleaning and scrubbing for everyone and everyone works until everything is done.
You have to be running a temperature to miss school.
Don't put more food on your plate than you will finish.
Play with dogs, you get fleas; you reflect the company you keep.
Don't make me say it twice.
If you ever end up in jail, don't call us.
Before you go on a date, the boy must come in and meet us; gentlemen don't sit at the curb and honk the horn for my daughters.
A boy must ask for a date at least a week before the date.
Probably forgot a few....no one had arguments at the dinner table; dinner was at 5:30 we girls always made dinner as Mom and Dad worked.
Click to expand...
Ditto... for most of this...except when I let school and went to work, every penny except my bus fares back to work was taken from me. Wage packet had to be handed over unopened to the Sperm donor..

No friends in the house if the parents ARe at home...

as for asking for a loan..even of a few pence from the sperm donor... well.. get ready for a punch in the mouth....


otherwise most of your list is very simialr to mine...
 
officerripley said:
So I read this internet article--can't find it now, sorry--about being raised with weird but actually useful childhood rules, one of which was No Talking During Meals. The article said that particular rule is good because it promotes appreciation of food and concentration skills. I grew up with this particular rule and since the silence during meals was always, always tense because my dad was a rageaholic who hated his life (except when he was in the first couple of weeks of a new affair), I don't feel like I learned a thing from it except "I want to get out of here as soon as I can."

Also, I remember when I made the mistake of inviting a friend over for dinner once and it turned out to be embarrassing as it feared it would, the friend asked me afterward why it was so weird and quiet at our table and why had my dad frowned at her so viciously when she made the mistake of saying something, "I said you're allowed to talk at your table?!"

Was anyone else raised with this rule and if so, do you think it was helpful?
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No, but we had the rule that everyone MUST eat EVERYTHING on their plate. This resulted in an epic battle when canned spinach was placed on my plate ... hours passed ... I finally gave in ... obviously I hate cooked spinach to this day!
 
hollydolly said:
Ditto... for most of this...except when I let school and went to work, every penny except my bus fares back to work was taken from me. Wage packet had to be handed over unopened to the Sperm donor..

No friends in the house if the parents ARe at home...

as for asking for a loan..even of a few pence from the sperm donor... well.. get ready for a punch in the mouth....


otherwise most of your list is very simialr to mine...
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We never were allowed friends in home, either - just outside

We didn't have to hand over our earnings, though.

My Mom was the enforcer.
 
OregonGuy said:
No, but we had the rule that everyone MUST eat EVERYTHING on their plate. This resulted in an epic battle when canned spinach was placed on my plate ... hours passed ... I finally gave in ... obviously I hate cooked spinach to this day!
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we had the same issues.. except even knowing I hate stew for example..it was still served to me, I wouldn't eat it. I'd be left sitting at the table long after the others had been excused.. then either I'd get a hiding.. or it would be taken from me , and I would be served it up for breakfast stone cold with a layer of congealed fat on top ...again no eating it..so a beating..
I cannot even stand the smell of stewed beef cooking to this day..much less the taste of it...
 
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CooCooforCoCoPuffs said:
We never were allowed friends in home, either - just outside

We didn't have to hand over our earnings, though.

My Mom was the enforcer.
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my father was the Devil...altho my mother did go along with a lot of what he did...and yes our friends always had to stand outside

My father always referred to them derogatorily as ''your cronies''....
 
OregonGuy said:
No, but we had the rule that everyone MUST eat EVERYTHING on their plate. This resulted in an epic battle when canned spinach was placed on my plate ... hours passed ... I finally gave in ... obviously I hate cooked spinach to this day!
Click to expand...
I didn't enjoy CANNED "Chinese" food as a child of six with those crunchy brown noodles on top that reminded me of brown worms.

One time I was made to "sit there" until I ate the serving I was given. I sat there until the sun came up and had cold Chinese for breakfast.
 
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