Cafe Entre Amis

MarciKS said:
Thanks girls. I feel horrible leaving dad all by himself tomorrow but, he isn't interested in me moving back to the area where I can be closer and stuff because he knows it's not financially wise for me to do so. He's concerned for my future. Last night he was crying and saying something about wishing he could've gone with her and now he was gonna be all alone. Killed me to sit there and witness that. He's lost the love of his life and there's nothing I can do to make it any better. I will simply have to let go and let him deal with it his own way.

He put on these dress shoes he hadn't worn for years and at the funeral home he thought he'd drug mud into the room. He got home and there was more of it on the carpet. We picked it up and it wasn't mud. His shoes were literally falling apart. After my brother and his wife left I looked at dad and I said "you know if mom were here she'd be laughing her ass off at the shoe situation." We both got a little chuckle out of that. It was a hard day. Not the last I'm sure. I'm gonna try to let him know if he needs me to let me know. And if he gets lonely he can always call and we can visit a little. Neither of us has been very hungry. I think it worries him because I don't talk as much as I used to. I've asked a couple people in the community if they could kinda keep an eye on him or help him with stuff if he needs it. He might not ask cuz he's stubborn.

I miss home. I miss my bed. Dad has the heat at 75 & if I didn't know better I'd swear I was melting. :LOL:
I did a little more cleaning and mailed his bills and picked up the mail and went to the store for a few things. Tomorrow I'll do the last load of wash and strip mom's bed. Then I'll make it back up & open the room back up so the cats can come in again. It's bothered the cats that mom's room is closed and someone is in there. They need to see she's not there.

Take care of yourselves.
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Marci,

I think that you are a thoughtful and caring daughter.
 

MarciKS said:
The sad thing is dad & us kids were never close. We never really bonded so it's terribly awkward. I hate to say it but I'm glad I'm leaving tomorrow.
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It's all very understandable, what you've written in these posts. At least you can know that you tried to do some things of value while there, and you did. Those actions don't fix it, but they are good.
I hope you can feel a bit good about the fact that you made the efforts, and gave the time, to help him in ways that you could manage.
That was also wise of you about the cats, too. I'm glad you are going home, and to your own space and things.
 
MarciKS said:
The sad thing is dad & us kids were never close. We never really bonded so it's terribly awkward. I hate to say it but I'm glad I'm leaving tomorrow.
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@MarciKS

I totally understand. It was the same with us kids and Dad.

Hopefully, there are people around for him to keep in touch with.

Meanwhile, take care of yourself.
 

MarciKS said:
it was difficult putting her room back the way it was and having to leave dad there and walk out of the house. he let me hug him and cry a couple times before i left. pizza hut is making dinner then i might go sleep a while.
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Bless you, @MarciKS, I know you are tired not only physically but mentally and emotionally too. 😔. I hope you sleep well after your supper and maybe do something nice for yourself tomorrow and the next day and the next…. Take care friend 😊
 
Please take care Marci.

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a classmate of mine lost his mother to cancer 2 days before i lost mine. a family friend was gonna come to the service friday but they had to take one of their daughters to some hospice place. she has had brain cancer for years and her sister has taken care of her the entire time. she is now getting ready to pass.

my father's copd is so bad that he gets winded just standing or walking into another room. it's a hard thing to watch.

i have to email him every day so he knows i'm ok. this morning he emailed back to let me know that one of the cats slept in mom's bed last night and they were both looking for me this morning. i'm so much like my mother i think it's been confusing for them.

the lady next door has offered to take his trash to the curb for him which is nice since he has to use the car to pull it there.

i pd. off his grocery tab the other day when i was in there. that's $300 he doesn't hafta worry about. i told him if he needed help with any other bills to let me know and i would do what i could. he just kinda laughed at me. some of the neices and nephews helped pay for mom's funeral expenses. they were pretty lofty. the expenses were for her memorial service...the casket...the cremation and the box they're putting her ashes in. we have to wait till this coming summer to place a headstone.

i slept good once i got my tea into me. woke for a bit this morning for a breathing treatment and then went back to bed.

i watched a couple videos from our chaplain that were comforting. i think she does one a week but i'm not sure.
 
RadishRose said:
Marci, has your father considered getting an aide in to help him a few afternoons a week? That would ease your mind as well.
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he mentioned having someone come every so often to do some cleaning. the rest he can manage on his own. or so he says. he just has to rest in between. if it's something he needs help with he usually calls my brother since he's only 15 min away. he's very stubborn. he doesn't want help unless he asks for it and he doesn't want anyone's pity. i can understand it because i have so much of both parents in me. i think i got half of each. plus he has the cats for company so i think that will help some. it won't do me any good to worry because it won't keep him from dying one of these days. we all gotta at some point. all we can do is take it one day at a time. *shrugs*

hope things are going well for you Rads.
 
dad let me go through her things in the bedroom. i didn't really want much. i did snag the lavender hippo that is the size of a toddler that she seemed to like so much. i got some of her rings and some other things. she gave me grandma's anniversary ring when she passed and now i have mom's original wedding set. plus dad sent me home with a couple rings he bought from china years ago. sister-in-law has pierced ears and wanted mom's earrings which is fine with me. mom had some slipper socks i took. a faux fur scarf and a little knit thing to cover your ears in the winter along with a cute little stocking hat with a little bill in the front. i'm keeping her disney jacket too. i put the rest of the rings in this little decorative gold purse with a peacock on it and little blue gems on the feathers. it's maybe 2 in. x 2 in. i left all the decorative dolls because i have no place to put them and maybe dad can sell them with the cabinets.
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