Can heavy girls find happiness?

Ralphy1

Ralphy1

Well-known Member
Being chubby growing up can cause difficulties for both sexes but it seems that girls suffer more, especially when reaching adolescence...
 

Being too thin also brings problems. I was taunted with Skinny Minnie, Olive Oil, Toothpick. Boys would sometimes push at me to see how easy it was to get me to fall over.
 
Fat....Skinny.... tall.... short.. bowlegged... big busted... flat chested.. big nose...chicken legs...Kankles... whatever.. Let's face it.. Females are always judged on how they look.. whether they are too stern... (resting bitch face)... or don't smile... Or smile too much. I'm willing to bet that every woman here has something about her physical features that was made fun of.. or makes her self conscious.. It's pretty hard growing up female with your self worth intact..
 

Yes, we have idealized the perfect feminine form thru movies and advertising to the point of obsession...
 
I only know from what I see locally but it seems that super skinny isn't the ideal it once was. That's a very positive thing. You'd look at ads with Kate Moss and think " Isn't there a charity that can feed her?". US culture seems to be more accepting of a natural female form now. There's a line of Barbie dolls with fairly realistic proportions. Lane Bryant has ad campaigns with some very beautiful women indeed.
lane-bryant-im-no-angel-hed-2015.png
 
My answer to this question is yes, but my yes opinion also depends on the heavy girls outlook. Now here is my long winded opinion-


For so long women were chattel. They were first more or less 'owned' by the males of their family & then later to a spouse. Way back when women had little if no choice at all as to whom they married. They were matched up by either parents or matchmakers or both. It's very similar to how a person looks over a cow or a bull at a livestock show. They basically focused on whether or not the girl was pretty because she could be 'made' to do what they wanted after the marriage. Women who were viewed as 'manly' looking, large , or anything that wasn't in the 'pretty' vogue of the day were always devalued. They did not need to place value on much of anything else because she was never going to be asked to use her opinions or talents anyway if they were not domestic talents. Even so if one was pretty and could not bear children or did not bear male children she was then devalued. So, centuries of 'conditioning' has made the crown of glory and accomplishment about a woman all about her looks and shape. It really is true that after long years of conditioning many 'victims' will continue in the opinions and viewpoints of those that abused them. This is the reason that even today many women are obsessed with how their looks appear to other people. I say that if a woman can break free of the 'conditioning' and realize her true value is much more about who she is and what she does than what she looks like , then yes she can be happy and rise above the similarity of a Hereford cow at a livestock show. She can make the choice of her own happiness and value herself even in the midst of any vapid ignorance prevailing. She can also be free to form her own opinion of what she thinks beauty is. Healthy is also important to happiness. Good mobility makes life much easier. If she is healthy and heavy she can have a happy life if she chooses, though even ill people can learn to be happy, so it's all in the outlook sometimes. Are a woman's talents, personality , character and work ethics more valuable than a brood mare? I think so.
 
Ralphy1 said:
Being chubby growing up can cause difficulties for both sexes but it seems that girls suffer more, especially when reaching adolescence...
Click to expand...
No, girls must be thin and obediently follow the current trend, otherwise they will be condemned to a life of loneliness.
If fashion trends are set by gentlemen, then girls and women must follow these.:please:
 
Adolescence is such a difficult time for girls and boys. My granddaughter was quite heavy, not happy. Bad enough the hormones are fluctuating, but in some cases it adds to lower self-esteem. Now, I don't say a young woman can't be self-confident too, I'm sure some are. Then there is the complexion issues. Let me just say, she lost all the excess weight, her skin cleared up and she has turned into a beautiful butterfly. Teen-age years are rough!
 
I lived with a teen with bulimia...I am a recovered anorexic, if people have finally accepted healthy size as fine I am all for it.
 
The six women pictured above are not rail thin Victoria's Secret models but they certainly aren't obese or chubby by any means......all of them are attractive.

Oh, just by chance does anyone happen to have the phone number of the gal 2nd from the left sitting next to the lady in white ?......she really cranks my tractor. :)
 
The singer Jill Scott, hefty and beautiful, starred in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency. In that show, somebody refers to her size, and she answers in her charming accent (she's supposed to be African, although she's really American), "Yes, I am traditionally built." She's completely calm and accepting of this. Wouldn't it be wonderful if all "larger" women could have that attitude?

300.scott.jill.lc.030509.jpg
 
Sunny said:
The singer Jill Scott, hefty and beautiful, starred in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency. In that show, somebody refers to her size, and she answers in her charming accent (she's supposed to be African, although she's really American), "Yes, I am traditionally built." She's completely calm and accepting of this. Wouldn't it be wonderful if all "larger" women could have that attitude?

300.scott.jill.lc.030509.jpg
Click to expand...
Yes, it would be wonderful. There is so much pressure for women to conform to a very thin standard and some are literally dying to do so. I go to a website where some have eating disorders and the women there are so miserable, even suicidal, when they overeat or are of a certain weight and it's because of society's standards. Look at the diet commercials on tv constantly too. The women on tv are small mostly and the women in magazines are small, too. There is a message telling us we have to lose weight to feel good, or to be accepted. Now there are good people who accept others just the way they are and then there are shallow ones, too. I am glad for the magazines and tv shows that have larger people on them, too. That is reality, we are not all the same size.

But to answer the OP's question yes bigger girls can find love and often do but many of them don't love themselves because of how they look. Size acceptance is one more hurdle that society needs to tackle.
 
The real shame is that this is still the most important factor to most young girls. There looks. My seventeen year old granddaughter doesn't care about her education because, she has learned her values from parents. Her father's plan is to set her up in an expensive private school, and his country club social events. The plan is to keep her in her prince world.

I've tried to get her to see the many opportunities that are out there for her to explore, but I guess I'll just have to have faith that her brains kicks in before she receives to much damage. This is her.

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Explain this to me. Why do I see several heavy white girls with black men, yet the opposite is not so. Yes, there are a few exceptions, but not the rule. I asked a fellow black Trooper this many years ago and he told me that it was because the heavy white girls are made to feel more appreciative by black men.

That's something that I never thought about. In the state police, we have a weight to height ratio that we must adhere to, but I know of two Troopers that do have rather large wives and they have both been married for several years, so maybe or maybe his comment is so, or maybe it is not.

Oh, something just came to mind. This is not meant to be a racial post. If anyone takes it that way, I apologize. It is just about observations that I have made over the years.
 
This topic really leads into many other topics. If you take away the word 'heavy' and just imagine instead this sentence " Can girls who are not generally considered attractive by the confines and boundaries that society is currently considering attractive find happiness?"
I have to ask myself what does the word 'happiness' represent? That would be open to interpretation. Is happiness considered to be found when the girl in question finds a mate? Is this 'happiness' supposed to occur if she has a great ability to attract sexual partners or marriage partners? Is her happiness supposed to hinge on that?
If being able to attract partners is the ultimate happiness goal then why do so many who are considered beautiful in our societies not fulfilled just by having met that standard? Why so much misery among those who are considered to meet the standard of beauty in our societies? Why do so many still believe that happiness can only be obtained through a partnering?
Why do so many women willingly compete against each other for looks ? Why are women abusing women over looks? Why isn't the focus of the competition between females about something more substantive ? How do these females deal with the let down when they get that 'partner' only to realize that the coupling did not bring great and tremendous joy into their life? Do they continue seeking and seeking, or do they get smarter and realize they have to create their own happiness?
Why is the goal of a partner considered as the main focus of one's 'happiness' rather than a compliment or something that might possibly accompany one's life? Isn't 'happiness truly subjective?
What do we teach our young that 'happiness' is? What do we encourage them to seek? How do we teach them to think about physical imperfections? What kind of role model are we? The comments many teenage girls seem to hear the most about their 'imperfections' often come from their own mothers and fathers who are trying to 'help' and 'encourage their child to do better'.
So many questions

Could be an idea for a children's book...


..The princess met a prince and they didn't fall in love, but since the princess already knew she had the power to make her own self happy she lived happily ever after.
 
BlunderWoman said:
This topic really leads into many other topics. If you take away the word 'heavy' and just imagine instead this sentence " Can girls who are not generally considered attractive by the confines and boundaries that society is currently considering attractive find happiness?"
I have to ask myself what does the word 'happiness' represent? That would be open to interpretation. Is happiness considered to be found when the girl in question finds a mate? Is this 'happiness' supposed to occur if she has a great ability to attract sexual partners or marriage partners? Is her happiness supposed to hinge on that?
If being able to attract partners is the ultimate happiness goal then why do so many who are considered beautiful in our societies not fulfilled just by having met that standard? Why so much misery among those who are considered to meet the standard of beauty in our societies? Why do so many still believe that happiness can only be obtained through a partnering?
Why do so many women willingly compete against each other for looks ? Why are women abusing women over looks? Why isn't the focus of the competition between females about something more substantive ? How do these females deal with the let down when they get that 'partner' only to realize that the coupling did not bring great and tremendous joy into their life? Do they continue seeking and seeking, or do they get smarter and realize they have to create their own happiness?
Why is the goal of a partner considered as the main focus of one's 'happiness' rather than a compliment or something that might possibly accompany one's life? Isn't 'happiness truly subjective?
What do we teach our young that 'happiness' is? What do we encourage them to seek? How do we teach them to think about physical imperfections? What kind of role model are we? The comments many teenage girls seem to hear the most about their 'imperfections' often come from their own mothers and fathers who are trying to 'help' and 'encourage their child to do better'.
So many questions

Could be an idea for a children's book...


..The princess met a prince and they didn't fall in love, but since the princess already knew she had the power to make her own self happy she lived happily ever after.
Click to expand...
:iagree::wow::chocolate:
 
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