Christian recovery from trauma?

T

TooMuchMuktuk

New Member
Some of you have experienced a crushing, life devastating loss or trauma in your lives. Perhaps due to an accident, war, betrayal, illness, victimization, life circumstances, or even due to your own unrecoverable mistakes. I’ve been dealing with such a situation for 30 years now. And I just can’t come to peace with it. I could use some input.
In light of Romans 8:28, do any of you have personal experiences where you can see how God has turned your trauma or devastating loss into “something good”.
 

I'll give you a direct answer to your question, and after that a better one.

Toward the end of my college years I was engaged to be married to a woman I had been seeing for over four years and was deeply in love with. Our wedding date was fast approaching, the invitations were printed, wedding and bridesmaid dresses chosen, excitement building. Then one evening, purely by accident, I found her in bed with one of her instructors. To use your words, the experience was a crushing and thoroughly devastating. I went completely off the rails. She married the instructor.

Fast forward a few years. I had just completed my military obligation and was regaining some semblance of normalcy when I was introduced to another young woman by a casual acquaintance. A relationship developed and seven months later we were married. That woman has been my wife for the past 49 years. We are as one person and she is my everything. She is the greatest earthly blessng I've ever received. I have absolutely no question whatsoever that this is what the Lord planned for me.

The better answer: The Bible doesn't promise us a life free from pain, frustration, and loss. Quite the contrary, we're told to expect these things. But for those of us who love Him and truly trust in Him, we can rejoice in knowing that He loves us and that all things are going in accordance with His eternal plan. Sometimes we can see His influence on our lives. More often, we'll never understand how the pieces fit together until that day when we stand before Him. For me, my faith isn't a part of my life. Rather this earthly life is just a small part of my faith. If we truly believe and put our trust fully in the one eternal, infinite, and loving God then we can join Paul in saying "I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." (Romans 8:18)

Might I suggest that you focus on your faith rather than your suffering, TooMuchMuktuk. Maybe you'll find one of my favorite bible verses helpful: "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer". (Romans 12:12)

HTH
 
I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior in 1972 ( 20 years old ) after several very traumatic events in my teens. I married a very Christian young women. We had two children. The marriage ended in Divorce and my children moving with their new step dad 180 miles away, in another State. So much for forgiveness, and keeping our eyes on the Lord. But like you, I found someone who I am best friends with and rarely apart for 30 years.
God also has a sense of irony, no?
 
Trauma is a very personal experience. So is shame, and feelings of guilt. In the past I found the latter hardest to deal with because, as an atheist, I had no pathway to forgiveness, by which I mean that I could not forgive myself. For years I wore guilt and shame like a millstone around my neck until I let go of my certainties and embraced mystery. Then the pathways were revealed to me and I was able to let go of the past and start afresh. Prayer helps. The verse from Romans provided by Tommy is a good starting point.
 
Tommy said:
I'll give you a direct answer to your question, and after that a better one.

Toward the end of my college years I was engaged to be married to a woman I had been seeing for over four years and was deeply in love with. Our wedding date was fast approaching, the invitations were printed, wedding and bridesmaid dresses chosen, excitement building. Then one evening, purely by accident, I found her in bed with one of her instructors. To use your words, the experience was a crushing and thoroughly devastating. I went completely off the rails. She married the instructor.

Fast forward a few years. I had just completed my military obligation and was regaining some semblance of normalcy when I was introduced to another young woman by a casual acquaintance. A relationship developed and seven months later we were married. That woman has been my wife for the past 49 years. We are as one person and she is my everything. She is the greatest earthly blessng I've ever received. I have absolutely no question whatsoever that this is what the Lord planned for me.

The better answer: The Bible doesn't promise us a life free from pain, frustration, and loss. Quite the contrary, we're told to expect these things. But for those of us who love Him and truly trust in Him, we can rejoice in knowing that He loves us and that all things are going in accordance with His eternal plan. Sometimes we can see His influence on our lives. More often, we'll never understand how the pieces fit together until that day when we stand before Him. For me, my faith isn't a part of my life. Rather this earthly life is just a small part of my faith. If we truly believe and put our trust fully in the one eternal, infinite, and loving God then we can join Paul in saying "I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." (Romans 8:18)

Might I suggest that you focus on your faith rather than your suffering, TooMuchMuktuk. Maybe you'll find one of my favorite bible verses helpful: "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer". (Romans 12:12)

HTH
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Thank you Tommy for your personal and thoughtful response.
 
I'm not religious, but nearly every time there was a bad major event in my life, it was my impetus for change, and something good came from it. Sometimes it took a while for the good to come, but it always did... for major events, anyway. There have been a lot of bad minor events from which nothing good came.

Adversity can be good if you're able to recover from it. It builds character and like I said, it can be an impetus for change, which is good when you're stuck in a rut and just doing the same thing every day.
 
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