Christmas Alone

Sharry49 said:
I am living alone and so very much want to move to the town my daughter lives in. I want to bide my time until I can move. The situation I find myself in has driven my actually batty.

I have no one to spend Christmas with this year! Help!!!
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Welcome to the forum Sharry, and Merry Christmas!

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Sharry49 said:
I am living alone and so very much want to move to the town my daughter lives in. I want to bide my time until I can move. The situation I find myself in has driven my actually batty.

I have no one to spend Christmas with this year! Help!!!
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His Harry I’m sorry your lonely and alone I wish I was your age I’m 85 and bored to death. At your age you can chat with people on line and perhaps meet some friends I’m presuming your health is good mine is not I have all kinds of prob. My granddaughter is coming tomarro and my kids did call move to margate and we can be friends maybe you can bake some cookies for a neighbor and she’ll invite you in anyway strong ang happy holiday my name is joan
 
HoneyNut said:
I think I read that people are happier when they live near family, so that is a good future plan you have to move to your daughter's town.
My daughter has been rescheduling having me over since Thanksgiving, it was finally set for next Tuesday. Then last night her conscience got to her and she confessed she lied about her boyfriend having been vaccinated. After several hours of back and forth text messages it was agreed that he would do a quick covid test before I came over. But I made a snarky comment in a text about my opinion of people who won't get vaccinated, and she got angry and said then she'll just leave my presents outside her door and I could come get them.
So, I guess I'm alone too, we will just have to keep each other company here on the forums!
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Oh you or nut. Lol I cry for you soo sad your daughter did that. My daughter did something worse after the fire in my bathroom and couldn’t live their she wouldn’t let me live with her cause then she would have to throw her boyfriend out. Can you imagine I would love to spend time with you on the forum we can write all the time my first line to you is Oh you poor nut but the word poor didn’t write
 

Irwin said:
You should record it and post it so we can hear you play.

I used to like to play You Win Again... another Hank Williams classic.

Here's the Grateful Dead doing a most excellent version...

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It's Ok but the Grateful Dead is missing the "tears" in Hank's voice. Hank Williams could sing a song like no other in the way that you felt he was really living the song; not just making a record. He put what I call "feeling" into his songs.
 
Sharry49 said:
I am living alone and so very much want to move to the town my daughter lives in. I want to bide my time until I can move. The situation I find myself in has driven my actually batty.

I have no one to spend Christmas with this year! Help!!!
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I live close to family but because of covid and some family issues, I decided to isolate myself and no one in the family made an effort to involve me, which was a little sad for me. Part of the family problem is I hold old-fashioned values like a mother should be a mother, and we should be respectful, especially when be respectful to our elders. That includes children respecting their parents. I know things have changed, but I think some things should not change. Anyway, this is what I did...

Our public broadcasting station did a show that was simply a fire in a fireplace and Christmas music. Because most of my life I have cared for children I still have dolls and stuffed animals. I just hate to accept that part of my life is in the past. I gathered my dolls and stuffed animals and we all watched the fire burning and sang Christmas carols. This worked as well for me at this time in my life, as well as it did when I was a child. I actually felt very happy.
 
JBingo36 said:
Oh you or nut. Lol I cry for you soo sad your daughter did that. My daughter did something worse after the fire in my bathroom and couldn’t live their she wouldn’t let me live with her cause then she would have to throw her boyfriend out. Can you imagine I would love to spend time with you on the forum we can write all the time my first line to you is Oh you poor nut but the word poor didn’t write
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Yeap, :D us old turkeys need to hang together. There are books written about how dealing with younger family members is like walking on eggshells. All the older women I have spoken with talk about how we need to hold our tongues and be very careful about what we say. I found a very good book on this that gives us some good advice on how to word things carefully and deal with the problem.

If it helps, know it is very common for daughters to push their mothers away. My daughter is finally old enough to stop doing that, but because she did it in the past, I do not have a good bonding with her children, and that means problems with bonding with the great-grandchildren too.

I think there is much to say about this. Caring for 3 generations of children has given me an interesting perspective. Too bad the young don't want to know about it. It is sad instead of being valued for our perspective, we are pushed away and need to turn to each other to deal with how we feel.
 
Vida May said:
Caring for 3 generations of children has given me an interesting perspective. Too bad the young don't want to know about it. It is sad instead of being valued for our perspective, we are pushed away and need to turn to each other to deal with how we feel.
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I have found this as well. Most people don't want to know the real problems or wisdom that comes with aging because they can't face their own mortality. They want the aged and infirm to put on the pretense of being young and healthy and not in need of anything so they don't have to provide anything including empathy or understanding. And this isn't just very young people. It is sometimes senior citizens who just haven't reached the turning point in their decline yet.
 
Tabby Ann said:
I have found this as well. Most people don't want to know the real problems or wisdom that comes with aging because they can't face their own mortality. They want the aged and infirm to put on the pretense of being young and healthy and not in need of anything so they don't have to provide anything including empathy or understanding. And this isn't just very young people. It is sometimes senior citizens who just haven't reached the turning point in their decline yet.
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Your thoughts are insightful. I had not thought the problem is a concern for their own mortality but that makes sense. I was always attracted to older people. I expected them to know more and to be able to teach me something. I have always loved listening to their stories about the past.

When I read your words, immediately I got wanting to deny our mortality is what is going for at least one granddaughter. She is an excellent institutional cook but during a recession, she was out of a job and I suggested she apply at places for seniors and she recoiled.

She said she did not like old people and eventually that included me. She has reached the age where we all revaluate our lives and she pushed away the whole family to work on her independent identity. Seeing the bigger picture softens my heart. Being human is not easy. Thank you for your insight.
 
Sharry49 said:
I am living alone and so very much want to move to the town my daughter lives in. I want to bide my time until I can move. The situation I find myself in has driven my actually batty.

I have no one to spend Christmas with this year! Help!!!
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Sharry.
Welcome to the board! I am 'kind of' alone..I moved to Fl from Ca and never had the chance to meet people here. First my husband became ill then went into an SNF then 2 years ago died, and then came Covid......If you ever need to talk I would be happy to chat on IM privately.
I hope Christmas wasn't too hard for you. I live with my daughter but I spent Christmas alone. She visited her BF's family and though I was invited I chose to stay home. I love being with people but also enjoy time alone. She was gone for 3 nights and I have to say I rather enjoyed myself 🤗 My frame of mind now is I am 77 and have had plenty of Christmases with family and friends and it is ok to find things to entertain myself. There is so much to read and watch on the internet and TV that I keep busy.
 
Tabby Ann said:
I have found this as well. Most people don't want to know the real problems or wisdom that comes with aging because they can't face their own mortality. They want the aged and infirm to put on the pretense of being young and healthy and not in need of anything so they don't have to provide anything including empathy or understanding. And this isn't just very young people. It is sometimes senior citizens who just haven't reached the turning point in their decline yet.
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Welcome Tabby....People have a lot of insecurities with their own challenges and so some find it easier to ignore others. I believe their time will come when they are forced to face reality. I know for me I did not appreciate some of the wisdom I was taught until it 'played out' in my life...we learn from our mistakes:)
 
Mandee said:
I've spent so many Christmases alone, I'm used to it now, I spend the day doing whatever I want and enjoying the peace and quiet. That said, I wish I'd joined up here 'before' Christmas rather than after ! Still, I'm here for New Year :)
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So how do you spend the New Year? I like to have an especially nice breakfast and watch the Rose Parade.

It was Christmas that called me back to this forum. I had banished myself for being too political, but I am tired of politics and hope to avoid being too political. Sometimes we really need friends and to avoid the stuff that can be unfriendly.
 
Tabby Ann said:
I have found this as well. Most people don't want to know the real problems or wisdom that comes with aging because they can't face their own mortality. They want the aged and infirm to put on the pretense of being young and healthy and not in need of anything so they don't have to provide anything including empathy or understanding. And this isn't just very young people. It is sometimes senior citizens who just haven't reached the turning point in their decline yet.
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This made me think of something my son said that surprised me. He told me it was hard to see his grandmother in the nursing home. They had a very strong bond and he was her heart, as she was his. I told him I hope he can handle it when I get older and possibly need assistance, though it's unlikely I'll have to go to a home (at least I hope not). He's my only child and even though his ex, my honorary daughter (and mother of two of my grandchildren) said she'd also never see me go into a home, she's not well herself. I also have 5 grandchildren...all but one are adults. We are a loving, close knit family but I realize young people have so much to deal with in this world just to maneuver life these days.

Also, my honorary son wrote a rap song (I call it soft rap) about 30 years ago about Ms. Sabrina....a (fictional) old woman he met on a bus who he was anxious to learn more from. He lamented that other young people such as himself didn't take advantage of the wisdom she imparted and did not view the elderly as valuable members of society. My son produced the track but it was never released for airplay.
 
tortiecat said:
Spent Christmas alone last year; never again - this year it will be
with family, pandemic or not. At 90 how many more years
can I count on.


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Good,Lord, I to have rather spent xmas with someone other than myself. How did you get this idea to be?
I have been totally alone for every holiday and am not a happy camper. With you being 90 and yet found a way forward out of this despair and here I am 72 and can't seem to make it happen to NOT be alone again every time I try to make contact with anyone I find out a wall is up or stonewalling or a lack of messages that are not getting answers for technical reasons whatever it is that is not too hopeful.A cousin in Plano Texas also seems to have the joy of her family to hold on to, tells me all the ways the Holidays are for them.
You must tell me how you brought about you mot spending another xmas alone again. Please, this means the world to me.
 
Vida May said:
So how do you spend the New Year? I like to have an especially nice breakfast and watch the Rose Parade.

It was Christmas that called me back to this forum. I had banished myself for being too political, but I am tired of politics and hope to avoid being too political. Sometimes we really need friends and to avoid the stuff that can be unfriendly.
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I'm not usually big on New Year, though I'll certainly be glad to say goodbye to 2021
If its not too cold I may go for a walk on New Years Day - try and set the habit for the rest of the year now that I've
moved somewhere that has nice places for taking a stroll - providing I can tear myself away from here tomorrow :LOL:
 
Mandee said:
I'm not usually big on New Year, though I'll certainly be glad to say goodbye to 2021
If its not too cold I may go for a walk on New Years Day - try and set the habit for the rest of the year now that I've
moved somewhere that has nice places for taking a stroll - providing I can tear myself away from here tomorrow :LOL:
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Our local news has promoted getting a dog specifically to get people out and walking. My dog died a few years ago and I would get another but I don't think I could ever have a better dog than the one I lost. He did not bark or jump on people. He left me alone until I was ready to take him for a walk and we walked for miles at least twice a day.

After having Homie for a while I noticed I wasn't depressed anymore. Regular walking can literally change our body chemistry with very positive mental results from making us happier people to reducing the chances of having cognitive problems and better weight control. The news report said, just looking at a pet can lift our spirits, and petting one has a positive effect that increases our life expectancy.
 
My husband and I moved South years ago for his job. Our son joined us. Husband died in 2001 and my son died last year. What is left of my family is in NY and I really can't afford to move back there. I would stay with my sister and her husband on visits. Now my sister has dementia and her husband died three weeks before Christmas.
I am thankful that I have enough space to have roommates. They are half my age and we are all quite different from one another but that keeps it interesting. Each of the four of us lost someone last year. One grandmother, one son, one father and one sister. We have cobbled together some sort of family-like group with the good and the bad. My late son's former girl friend has also been here as a guest but that's another story.
 
We lost our oldest Son in January of 2021 .
Our youngest was in another state visiting his future in-laws, so it was just the DW and Myself for Christmas.
The oldest lived just next door and I kept waiting for him to come over and help set up the tree.
Thought I'd been through some tuff holidays, but this one was the hardest.
Wife and I just seemed to go through the motions for Christmas.
We hugged a lot.
 

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