I think for me, most of my negativity comes from Thanksgiving and Christmas to have ALWAYS been a big stressful thing for me. I don't remember much about Christmas when I was a kid since Dad was in the Navy, we were usually in some foreign country. Most of my memories come when I see a picture of our Christmases from back then. Then when I was married to my first husband, his family was such a stickler for the holiday to be celebrated on the actual day of, there was no compromise with that, so my family was always the afterthought so it seemed. I cannot tell you how I hated that, and I had NO support at all from my then husband. So for me, I just had to go along with what they all wanted and then we planned the day of or the day after with my parents. I always have felt that my own children probably don't remember much about Christmas at our house, but most of their memories are at my ex's parent's home. Christmas morning was always rushed through for us so that we could hurry up and get to the grandparent's house. His sister would always call and ask when we are coming. And it really did no good for me to complain. (just one of the many reasons he is now my EX, lol) I did fight tooth and nail one year, and got my family and his family together for a Christmas dinner, but that didn't work either. My husband at the time had to work Christmas Day, but everyone was at our house for the day, with me trying to keep it all together. He wasn't getting off work until 7 that night, and at about 5 pm my dad starting complaining that he thought we should all go ahead and eat and hubby could eat when he gets home. I wanted to wait until he got home so he could be a part of the festivities, but dad, being the way he was/is, kept on until I just finally had enough so we ate, but I waited for hubby and ate with him. Needless to say we didn't do Christmas at my house again.
Now that i'm remarried (right man this time..hehe) he goes with whatever I want to do, but I also know he has his family (kids, brother) that he wants to spend time with. They all live close to us, so seeing them is not that much problem. One of his sons is married so his wife now has her family to consider as well. And then there is still my family with all their requests and demands. My parents are the kind of people that is you don't do something, they take it personal, as if it means you don't want to be with them. We stayed home last year for Christmas, and they all came here for the day, and that was nice. It's hard to make plans with my Mom because she spends most of her time taking care of my grandmother (her mom), who has Alzheimer's terribly. So it's hard for her to get away, even though there are Mom's siblings who can help, most of them don't, or only when when it's convenient for them. It's just easier for her if everyone goes to their house, which is an hour and a half from us, for my brother and his family it's about 3 hours. So we are kind of in the middle of the two. The whole day is just rushed, and stressful. For me, it just feels like it's what we are supposed to do because it's Christmas. And I honestly don't enjoy that at all. My daughter and her family live in Virginia, and she has chosen not to be in my life for about the last 10 years now, and my son, lives 5 or 6 miles from me, but we don't see him often, even though we get along just fine. So for us to see him over the holiday is a hit or miss kind of thing.
This year is especially hard for us financially so we really don't need to buy any gifts, but i'm sure like others mentioned here, even requesting no gifts, there will be some who will still give us gifts. We had debt that we are trying to pay off, and don't need to go into more to buy gifts. I just can't take all the frustration, and i'm already feeling it!