Companionship

Have you talked it over yet? I know sometimes it's tough to get together one on one to really discuss feelings, esp. if the other is tough to pin down to talk.

This is important for you both to work out together. Perhaps you may both agree to work part time... or perhaps he needs to think more about it. A highly driven man can be hard to navigate this with. (my dad is a VERY driven man), Maybe bring it up in a relaxed setting, on a get away trip.

I'm sure others here have better input... good luck.
 
Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life... mostly because no one is hiring.:)

After retiring my dad used to say, "When every day is a holiday, no day is a holiday." An enjoyable work gives some people purpose and fills their days. What do you propose he fills his days with once he retires? The key is to show that better things await outside his life of work.
A life without purpose is like a tire without air, it becomes flat rather quickly. ~me
 

I retired at 62 due to some health issues. Husband did indeed work until very near the end because he was a workaholic and loved his job,

When he was home, he was in the workshop, building his race car. I was always in the barn with my horses. We would have never survived a retirement that kept us attached at the hip 24/7 - he was and I still am far too independent. Husband passed nearly two years ago, but I am hanging onto this small farm and the horses.

My advice is to find something you have a true passion for and engage in it during the hours your husband wants to be at work, then come together afterward.

If you force the “I must be with you at all times” issue and he grudgingly retires, your marriage may very well go south.
 
you mentioned companionship if you retired and he didn't. If you're both working now how much time can you spend together? There other issues like budgets, health insurance especially if now they are provided by your jobs.

Is he agreeable for you to retire? If so, you could volunteer doing something around people or kids or animals. Would fill your day until he'd come home,
 
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My wife never worked. She stayed home to care for the kids. When the kids finally left home, she still stayed home. I worked for a municipality from age 21 to age 69 and retired on a great pension. I'm 90 now and have not worked for 21 years. Plus, I invested all my money in Amazon in 1998 and have made millions on it. Now, when I die, my daughter will be able to retire and have her, her husband and their kids all stop working.

Finally, I have Amazon Echo Shows all over my house. They have artificial intelligence. They answer all my questions on every subject including giving me good medical advice BETTER than any doctor. I haven't seen a doctor at all since I purchased those Amazon Echo Shows.
 
Imogene said:
I retired at 62 due to some health issues. Husband did indeed work until very near the end because he was a workaholic and loved his job,

When he was home, he was in the workshop, building his race car. I was always in the barn with my horses. We would have never survived a retirement that kept us attached at the hip 24/7 - he was and I still am far too independent. Husband passed nearly two years ago, but I am hanging onto this small farm and the horses.

My advice is to find something you have a true passion for and engage in it during the hours your husband wants to be at work, then come together afterward.

If you force the “I must be with you at all times” issue and he grudgingly retires, your marriage may very well go south.
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Thanks for this insight. Yes. I suppose an idol mind is a waste. Do understand my husbands need to be needed in the work place. I suppose I just need to live my life if I retire. I do believe it would be travel and less time at home. Perhaps that is what he wants. Txs
 
My second wife thought husbands and wives should be around each other 24/7 and I should stay home all of the time on my off days. She didn't have any hobbies or interests. She even came with me to the store. It was terrible and that marriage didn't last two years. I couldn't imagine retirement with her.
 
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Coco said:
you mentioned companionship if you retired and he didn't. If you're both working now how much time can you spend together? There other issues like budgets, health insurance especially if now they are provided by your jobs.

Is he agreeable for you to retire? If so, you could volunteer doing something around people or kids or animals. Would fill your day until he'd come home
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Coco said:
I feel a bit stuck. He's agreeable to my retiring, I'm just at a loss about how to fill my time. I work about 60/70 hours a week now because he does. Neither one of us even want to leave the office to cook dinner ...we kind of pass in the night..he's in bed early and I'm up late at night.. I play high level sports and if I could , i'd compete and travel to tournaments but my body is saying uncle. When I think of volunteering. I feel like I'm not volunteer material and should just keep making money. I do go out and do things, but generally alone; walks, hikes, art, speakers,museums, zoos, gardens, garage sales, working out, thrifting, refinishing, Church etc.. occasionally I find a friend, but others are busy and like golf ..things are just not that fun doing them alone all the time...I almost wish I could rent a companion that likes enrichment as much as I do . I often listen to a million books on tape while I do my activities cause I'm generally alone and it helps and gives me company..
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I also don't want to retire just to be the house elf.. I feel I may only have 20 good years left.. he's happy to work them away but I'm not.. ugg I just am stuck..it's almost like I need a major medical even just to quit.. I listen to what I've written and it sounds crazy.. should it be that difficult????
Coco said:
you mentioned companionship if you retired and he didn't. If you're both working now how much time can you spend together? There other issues like budgets, health insurance especially if now they are provided by your jobs.

Is he agreeable for you to retire? If so, you could volunteer doing something around people or kids or animals. Would fill your day until he'd come home,
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gruntlabor said:
Welcome, sensie, from Alaska

Dependence on others for our happiness is often disappointing.
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Yes. But exploring is often more fun with a partner in crime..I used to have a close friend that was always up for anything.. but she moved...it was great while it lasted..
 

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