Compassion for The Homeless

Homelessness is a complicated topic.
There is no nice way to help them.
We did not use to have this many homelessness.
The older people here probably remember the white trucks and men with straitjackets.
People with mental issues were incarcerated in mental institutions. They were cared for and feed and kept warm.
And there were vagrancy laws.
Then America shutdown this process and the mental now live in the streets.
Most would rather live in box than go to a homeless shelter.
Had a church that wanted to take blankets and food to homeless people living in a drainage tunnel. The police stopped them and explained that most are mental and on drugs and they are likely to attack you because they consider your compassion as pity and looking down on them and they are insulted by that.
The homeless litter the streets with urine, fecal matter and hypodermic needles.
Again, no nice way to help them.
They need to be rounded up and institutionalized. There they will get health and mental care and keep them safe and keep us and our children safe from them.

Regular folks that are down on their luck will work their way out of it.
 
we worked with a kid whose wife kicked him out and he was living in his car. the coworkers that let him stay at their homes he stole from them.

a lot of the hospitals are letting mental patients leave when they shouldn't be and they go back onto the street. between that and the drunks and druggies i would be too afraid.
 
Grailhunter57 said:
Homelessness is a complicated topic.
There is no nice way to help them.
We did not use to have this many homelessness.
The older people here probably remember the white trucks and men with straitjackets.
People with mental issues were incarcerated in mental institutions. They were cared for and feed and kept warm.
And there were vagrancy laws.
Then America shutdown this process and the mental now live in the streets.
Most would rather live in box than go to a homeless shelter.
Had a church that wanted to take blankets and food to homeless people living in a drainage tunnel. The police stopped them and explained that most are mental and on drugs and they are likely to attack you because they consider your compassion as pity and looking down on them and they are insulted by that.
The homeless litter the streets with urine, fecal matter and hypodermic needles.
Again, no nice way to help them.
They need to be rounded up and institutionalized. There they will get health and mental care and keep them safe and keep us and our children safe from them.

Regular folks that are down on their luck will work their way out of it.
Click to expand...
Not if people have reached a stage in their life where they're too old or too unwell to work , and earn enough to pay local rents, and mortgages...

Youtube is filled with Videos of middle aged, and elderly people, not drug addicted or alcohol dependant, who are homeless, who are living in cars and vans, some still workingfull time, with no chance of being able to afford to get out of that situation






 
I know a married couple that lost both of their children to cystic fibrosis and the husband became an alcoholic because of their losses. Eventually, he’s got sober and they had a small home. They turned the basement into many bedrooms.

They had many AA meetings in their large backyard. It was one of the most peaceful places I have ever been to be in that backyard. It’s hard to describe, but I could feel the positive energy and that’s before I ever knew the story. They were relatives of my husband.

They would go on the street where the homeless people that were alcoholics were and helped them to become sober. They let these people live in their home until they got on their feet.

They both were recognized years later by their community and actually a building at the university was named for him because of all the good he did for the community. When you entered the building, they had a large curio cabinet that told the history of the couple that had helped so many alcoholics become sober. There were also many newspaper clippings throughout the years of them that were featured in that cabinet. They turned their personal pain into a quest to help other people get sober.

The wife was instrumental in getting donations to buy up old houses that served as a place to live for women with children that were alcoholics to give them a new start. they also donated much of their own money to the cause .

I remember thinking at the time that they were a lot braver than I would to let strangers stay in their house especially since they lived in a large city. I met these people 20 years ago and by then the husband was dead and his wife was in her 80s. They were truly remarkable people.
 
Radrook said:
Would you take a homeless person into your apartment?
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It's a simple question that hides much nuance. Would I take a well-balanced, needy person into my home? Yes. Would I roll the dice on a complete stranger? No.

The solution for homelessness isn't to house them with strangers. All homeless aren't the same. Some are there for personal disaster, some are there through addiction. There's a difference. But seeing them on the streets, you can't really tell which is which.

The problem is societal. Empathy is to be expected, and if it's absent, a sign of something worse. Yet when I hear people complain about the homeless, it's mainly in terms of the inconvenience, the eye-sore, the suspected crime. It's more fundamental than that. It's a reflection on society as a whole. We have, and we tend to look down on those that don't. But for any of us, one decision can be the dividing line.
 
MarciKS said:
the coworkers that let him stay at their homes he stole from them.
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I'm not judgmental about homeless people, because it can to a wide range of people and when it happens it can be quick and catastrophic. Homelessness changes people and some are permanently affected, they would steal the harness off a nightmare simply because they could.
 
What about Ukrainians fleeing war?
We didn't have enough places for them, so they asked people to take them in and a lot did, but then a year later there still was nothing else, so can they stay a bit longer.

They needed help with everything, needed to be driven around. I was glad that I have no big house, so I didn't have to feel obliged to do it. I read some stories and saw one on tv. One time it went swell and other times not so swell.

A controlling man who wanted to play the boss for instance and they wanted to eat warm all the time and live warm. We live cheap. It's often cold to save money. You don't heat at night, some do 18 degrees or hardly heat since gas is expensive since the war. We eat bread. Not fancy meals 3 times a day. And then you get spoiled people wanting that, costing loads. That gave irritations.
 
hollydolly said:
Not if people have reached a stage in their life where they're too old or too unwell to work , and earn enough to pay local rents, and mortgages...

Youtube is filled with Videos of middle aged, and elderly people, not drug addicted or alcohol dependant, who are homeless, who are living in cars and vans, some still workingfull time, with no chance of being able to afford to get out of that situation
Click to expand...

You are right. But no explanation can cover every situation. If the conditions are right the elderly can find themselves homeless, but a lot has to go wrong for that to happen.
1. Did not plan for retirement.
2. No Spouse to help.
3. No Social Security or Medicare because they never worked.
4. No children or friends to help them.
5. No church affiliation.
6. Live in an area where there are no programs to help the elderly in these situations.

Like I said--->Regular folks that are down on their luck will work their way out of it. An elderly person has a lifetime of experience and can usually figure it out. The first step is to ask for help.
If they are senile, we are back to, most of us are not qualified to help, but we might be able to find help for them.

People can get lost in the masses. I live in Farmington Mo, population around 18,000 and I have never seen a homeless elderly person. For one thing this place is wall to wall churches and if an elderly person walked into one of these, they would help and know where to get help. Churches have elderly people and Pastors have some that need help.

Either way if we see an elderly homeless person, what should we do? If it is safe, talk to them and find out why they are homeless. If they are not mental and will accept help, feed them and point them in the right direction for help.

For those that are Christians----> What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no Good Deeds? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no Good Deeds, is dead, being by itself. But someone may well say, “You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without Good Deeds, and I will show you my faith by my Good Deeds.” James 1:14-18 For the homeless in general we should pray for them.
God grant me the serenity To know the wrongs that I cannot change.
Courage to change the wrongs I can; And wisdom to know the difference.

And what about the elderly in general. In the neighborhoods I have lived in, we have yard sales and barbeques which gives some opportunities to socialize with the elderly. Some of us have golf carts and drive around the neighborhood checking on the elderly and invite them out to socialize.... barbeques and holiday dinners. Those that are alone can be living a life of lonely existence. That can be miserable.
 
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Nope. The apartment building I live in has had trouble getting them out because tenants have let them in. Some mornings they are found sleeping in our laundry room or community room. It is in our lease that we cannot let anyone stay overnight without permission from the management and that is why that is enforced here.
 
VaughanJB said:
Yet when I hear people complain about the homeless, it's mainly in terms of the inconvenience,
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It's irritating if they ask for money and bother you. That's why in my country they just give them an income. I feel sorry for those who ask friendly, but you have to ask God if you should give em money and not just give. Once I gave a guy. He didn't even do effort to pretend he needed it for food or a place to sleep. He walked straight to the coffee (= pot here) shop at the other side of the road.

A pity of my money. I already don't have much and now it's my responsibility that he takes drugs. Better just give em all houses and govt money, even if they are lazy and take advantage. That's better than dumping them on an ex or family member or someone who happens to walk by. Better share the load as a society. That used to work, but not anymore cause there are not enough houses anymore.
 
Welcome to the forum! It’s great to have you here and to hear your perspective on such a complex social issue. You’ve touched on a lot of the structural challenges—like housing shortages and how a society "shares the load"—that many of us are concerned about as well.
It sounds like you’ve had some frustrating personal experiences, especially when you feel your generosity was taken advantage of. That feeling of "pity for your money" is very human, especially when you are working hard to make ends meet yourself.
As you settle into the community, we try to look at these situations through a lens of deep compassion rather than disdain, even when it’s difficult. Here are a few thoughts to consider as we discuss this topic:

1. The Complexity of "The Coffee Shop"​

It’s easy to feel frustrated when we see someone head straight for a vice after we give them money. However, for many living on the streets, "survival" isn't just about food; it’s about managing the intense physical and mental pain that comes with that lifestyle. Sometimes, what looks like "laziness" or "taking advantage" is actually a brain trapped in the cycle of trauma or addiction. When we give, we can try to do so as a gift of grace—letting go of the responsibility for what they do next, and focusing on the fact that we chose to be kind in that moment.

2. "Sharing the Load" as Empathy​

You made a great point about how society used to handle this better with housing. When we advocate for "giving them houses even if they take advantage," we are actually practicing a very high form of compassion. It recognizes that even the "difficult" or "unfriendly" person deserves a roof. Moving from a feeling of "they are a burden" to "they are a struggling neighbor" changes the energy of the whole conversation.

3. Protecting Your Own Peace​

Since you mentioned you don't have much yourself and you also deal with your own health challenges (like your neuropathy), it is perfectly okay to set boundaries. Compassion doesn't always mean giving money. It can mean advocating for those government systems you mentioned, or simply offering a nod of acknowledgement. You aren't "responsible" for their choices, but we can all be responsible for the "tone" we take when talking about them.
We’re glad to have your voice in the mix! This is a place where we try to lift each other up and look for the humanity in everyone, even the people who are the hardest to help.
 
No, I would not take in a homeless person to live in my home. That goes beyond reasonable caution. Besides, it can beccome a legal challenge to get someone out of a spare room, even without a lease. Once they have established residency, they are considered tenants, and legal eviction procedures must be followed. Even taking in an acquaintance presents the same problem.

Now, if a friend was down on his luck and needed temporary help with a place to stay, I would likely consider loaning him money until he got back on his feet.
 
When I first read this thread, honestly I wasn't sure what exactly the OP was hoping for.
Or even if he was testing waters for someone he could reach out to for help.
I will admit, being unsure made me cautious in my answer. My 1st time seeing any post
from the OP, so not knowing that person also came into play.
Not sure if any others felt the same as me.
 
IrishEyes said:
When I first read this thread, honestly I wasn't sure what exactly the OP was hoping for.
Or even if he was testing waters for someone he could reach out to for help.
I will admit, being unsure made me cautious in my answer. My 1st time seeing any post
from the OP, so not knowing that person also came into play.
Not sure if any others felt the same as me.
Click to expand...
I considered that. I hope he will return to the thread and clarify.
 
Paco Dennis said:
Welcome to the forum! It’s great to have you here and to hear your perspective on such a complex social issue. You’ve touched on a lot of the structural challenges—like housing shortages and how a society "shares the load"—that many of us are concerned about as well.
It sounds like you’ve had some frustrating personal experiences, especially when you feel your generosity was taken advantage of. That feeling of "pity for your money" is very human, especially when you are working hard to make ends meet yourself.
As you settle into the community, we try to look at these situations through a lens of deep compassion rather than disdain, even when it’s difficult. Here are a few thoughts to consider as we discuss this topic:

1. The Complexity of "The Coffee Shop"​

It’s easy to feel frustrated when we see someone head straight for a vice after we give them money. However, for many living on the streets, "survival" isn't just about food; it’s about managing the intense physical and mental pain that comes with that lifestyle. Sometimes, what looks like "laziness" or "taking advantage" is actually a brain trapped in the cycle of trauma or addiction. When we give, we can try to do so as a gift of grace—letting go of the responsibility for what they do next, and focusing on the fact that we chose to be kind in that moment.

2. "Sharing the Load" as Empathy​

You made a great point about how society used to handle this better with housing. When we advocate for "giving them houses even if they take advantage," we are actually practicing a very high form of compassion. It recognizes that even the "difficult" or "unfriendly" person deserves a roof. Moving from a feeling of "they are a burden" to "they are a struggling neighbor" changes the energy of the whole conversation.

3. Protecting Your Own Peace​

Since you mentioned you don't have much yourself and you also deal with your own health challenges (like your neuropathy), it is perfectly okay to set boundaries. Compassion doesn't always mean giving money. It can mean advocating for those government systems you mentioned, or simply offering a nod of acknowledgement. You aren't "responsible" for their choices, but we can all be responsible for the "tone" we take when talking about them.
We’re glad to have your voice in the mix! This is a place where we try to lift each other up and look for the humanity in everyone, even the people who are the hardest to help.
Click to expand...
Neuropathy? I don't have health problems. I take care of 3 teens alone, have a nice bike, one bedroom, get extra money from my mom for the kids and have always helped out my ex financially. I give at times, but you hardly ever see homeless people where I live (it's forbidden to beg) and they get govt money and a free place to stay, except when they're not on drugs, which is very bad.

I helped a friendly shy older guy who's not on drugs. He needed money to not sleep in the cold. In Holland I have exes, never went for the money type, one hasnt worked in 30 years, is on pot, lazies around and has a big fat govt house, lives better than me and a govt income, but this poor man on the streets gets nothing and is super grateful when I give him 20 euro. Highly unfair. If he was on drugs he'd get free help, but now they're like: help yourself. Btw I just read that in 2030 they want homelessness gone in Europe. I think guys like that ex, you can give them a free place or room, but not a free fatzo house and the other one nothing.
 
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