Lonely vs being alone
Some people do not know there is a difference between the two. It's starting to get on my nerves.
I know they are well meaning individuals who feel they have my best interests in mind when they do some of the things they do...or are they really well meaning?
I downsized from a house to a 1 bedroom apartment seven years ago. I was looking around at old furniture that belonged to my grandmother, I had a hide a bed sofa that was rarely used, I had a twin bed in an extra bedroom that was rarely used. I had baking pans, cookware, figurines, hundreds of books, some items I had two of (toaster, mixer etc.)
It was my decision to downsize. The old dining room table went to my daughter. A good choice. It has been well used. That would have made my grandmother happy. The twin bed, most of the extra cookware, twin sized linens, some towels went to a young man who just got out of prison. He managed to find a small unfurnished apartment, got a job, is trying to assimilate back into life after being in prison for 5 years for some drug related charges. I let him pick what he wanted. I never saw someone get so excited over some used furniture in my life. Hey, I'm willing to help someone make a new start. I see him a couple times a year. He's doing well, still has the same job, finally got a car and a girlfriend and from what I can tell, he's still off the drugs. Giving to him was good choice.
I enjoy sitting in my sparsely furnished apartment. I have all I need: a bed, a sofa, a recliner, a table and chairs. I downsized my Christmas decorations. The granddaughter volunteered to take some of those off my hands. A good choice. She's a newlywed and they don't have lot of money to spend on "frivolity". I have the books I hadn't yet read, a craft table for my hobbies. I have a small television, my laptop. I don't have a lot of things hanging on the walls but what I do have has a lot of sentimental value for me. I've been happier than I've been in a long time.
Now many of my well meaning friends and family have decided I need a dog or at the very least a cat to "keep me company". I don't know whether to laugh or hit them with my frying pan.
I explain all the reasons I don't want a critter in my apartment. They are logical reasons to me, but for some reason they go unheard.
My apartment charges an additional 250.00 pet deposit. That is additional to the basic deposit I already paid. Then they increase the rent by adding 20.00 a month. I understand the reasons why. Not all pet owners are responsible and you wouldn't believe the damage some pets have caused to some of these apartments.
I live on the second floor. There are 8 steps to my apartment plus a couple of additional ones on the sidewalk. The dog walk is across the parking lot. I'm not a young person and as someone who has already slipped, tripped and fallen the last thing I need to be doing is trying to take a dog out for a walk in the middle of winter when it's icy or snowing. I'd have to take it out several times a day. Good grief, one of the things I looked forward to about retirement is not having to get out in horrible weather.
Then there is the additional expense for pet food, pet care supplies, veterinarian expenses when needed. I think I would rather spend my extra money on other things, like going to basketball games, going out to eat once in a while, going to Texas to visit my family.
I've never been a cat person. I really don't like cats lying around wherever they want acting like they own the place.
The one chore I really hate is vacuuming. I vacuum every week. I think if I had a fur baby, I would have to vacuum all the time just to keep the pet hair down to a manageable level. I think that would really make me mad.
I actually had one friend offer to take me to the animal shelter and she said she would pay the adoption fee, even after I explained to her I didn't want a pet.
I told her if I wanted to be around animals that I could volunteer at the shelter or the zoo. She got kind of upset and said , "I was only trying to help."
Don't you just love those people who try to impose what they want on to you and then get mad if you don't want it?
I am happy being alone in my apartment. I have a nice view. My neighbor has a dog. I pet it. I have a plant that I've had for over 8 months and I haven't killed off yet which for me is a miracle. I don't have a constant need to be entertained by animals, people or electronics.
I wish people would believe me when I tell them ," I AM NOT LONELY".
Sometimes they seem to think I'm depressed and am doing nothing but sitting here watching whatever soap opera is on these days, gorging myself on 5 bags of Oreos while tearfully going through box after box of tissues. Sure, I've watched my fair share of television but just because I hadn't been able to do it for years and years. So, after finally seeing what shark week was all about, after watching re runs of Seinfeld, MASH, That 70's show I have happily decreased my TV viewing to a couple of shows in the evening. I prefer listening to the radio but most of the time, I really do enjoy the quiet when everyone else in my building has gone to work.
I'm newly retired. For the first time in my life I don't have to answer to anyone, take care of anyone, be responsible for anyone except me. If that is selfish, then so be it but I feel I've earned the right to enjoy that.