Considering a move to senior apartment community

Marie5656

Marie5656

SF VIP
Location
Batavia, NY
As I have mention regularly, my niece is a strong advocate for me, as I have no children. Even though I got positive results from cardio tests, she and I are now talking about me following through on something I have considered in the past. Moving to a senior community. She would like me to live closer to her. We have always been very close, and she wants to be able to visit more, and have me closer to her for various reasons.

I, at first, had thought I would always stay in my home. But, the challenges of the last few months have gotten me to see that I miss people. I miss interacting with people. I want to People more. Plus, giving up the responsibility of taking care of a house , which is becoming ever so much more of a challenge, makes me want to consider a change. For example, the neighbor who mowed my lawn, and plowed my drive has moved out of state. I have someone mowing my lawn, but do not know who I will get to plow. I have a very short drive, two cars wide, but I know I cannot do it myself. Shoveling the ramp is challenging enough.
Julie found a complex, back in my home town, which is for seniors, and rent is income based. We figured I would be paying less for rent than I am paying for lot rent here. And the rent includes all utilities except electric, and the place is cable ready. There is a recreation area, community room, small store and a place I can go for one meal a day in the community dining room .
We are going to go out and look in the next week or two.
I am tired of being alone. Especially now. Neighbors are moving away, and I am just missing being able to see others.
 

I would do this if I could, and if my husband dies first, I will. I hope the place is everything you want. Let us know!
 

dunno, something like that looms in my future-in-hone assistance will only assist in
kitchen tasks(?) and nurse visit. No thanks, I need someone to clean, wash...
Do the different home health folks offer different services? I've only dealt with the one...

Really, like nurse, he was chatty, lingered after tasks... that was 3 years ago, nothing
now.
I don't think I could live in any structured environment; money of course is the major concern.
 
jerry old said:
dunno, something like that looms in my future-in-hone assistance will only assist in
kitchen tasks(?) and nurse visit. No thanks, I need someone to clean, wash...
Do the different home health folks offer different services? I've only dealt with the one...

Really, like nurse, he was chatty, lingered after tasks... that was 3 years ago, nothing now.
Click to expand...
Yes they do, at least the ones my mother has do. Did you specifically get the housecleaning services?
 
I did two in-depth interviews with two different people. (???)
I was assigned a social work to discuss my problems of being alone!

What? lady I don't need to discuss problems, I need someone to do the wash.

They were hierarchy heavy, got one visits per month to check on their employees?
Think they were padding medicare bill
 
Marie5656 said:
As I have mention regularly, my niece is a strong advocate for me, as I have no children. Even though I got positive results from cardio tests, she and I are now talking about me following through on something I have considered in the past. Moving to a senior community. She would like me to live closer to her. We have always been very close, and she wants to be able to visit more, and have me closer to her for various reasons.

I, at first, had thought I would always stay in my home. But, the challenges of the last few months have gotten me to see that I miss people. I miss interacting with people. I want to People more. Plus, giving up the responsibility of taking care of a house , which is becoming ever so much more of a challenge, makes me want to consider a change. For example, the neighbor who mowed my lawn, and plowed my drive has moved out of state. I have someone mowing my lawn, but do not know who I will get to plow. I have a very short drive, two cars wide, but I know I cannot do it myself. Shoveling the ramp is challenging enough.
Julie found a complex, back in my home town, which is for seniors, and rent is income based. We figured I would be paying less for rent than I am paying for lot rent here. And the rent includes all utilities except electric, and the place is cable ready. There is a recreation area, community room, small store and a place I can go for one meal a day in the community dining room .
We are going to go out and look in the next week or two.
I am tired of being alone. Especially now. Neighbors are moving away, and I am just missing being able to see others.
Click to expand...
My wife and I are making similar plans for the same reasons that you are. Good luck.
 
jerry old said:
I did two in-depth interviews with two different people. (???)
I was assigned a social work to discuss my problems of being alone!

What? lady I don't need to discuss problems, I need someone to do the wash.

They were hierarchy heavy, got one visits per month to check on their employees?
Think they were padding medicare bill
Click to expand...
Well, from what I’ve seen Washington state is one of the best places to be for an elderly person with little money. Mother gets two meal delivers a day from two different sources and pays nothing. She has three aides and they are there everyday. I do not know the hours.

They do housekeeping, take her to appointments, answer her phone etc. but only work daylight hours. Age might make a different, she is 95. She gets Medicare and Medicaid. She lives in government housing so reduced rent. I do not live near her. She has always preferred my brother and still does.
 
Indeed, your state funding and the way they view old folks has much to do with
the available services.
If you live in one of our barren states, your in trouble.
There is also a huge gap in services available in metro area vs the rural.
 
Last edited:
jujube said:
Last week, my 95 year old mother was gung-ho to move into assisted living. Now she's changed her mind (no surprise). I'm here with her now and it's clear she has no business living alone. It's going to be a battle royal and there will be bodies (probably mine).
Click to expand...
Yup, my mother will not go to assisted living or a nursing home. She can not hear and now she is going blind. She says they will take all her money. Yes, we know and we tell her we will provide spending money. She still refuses and says she will die in her apartment.

Sigh. I don’t believe her, she never keeps her promises. 😂
 
Marie5656 said:
As I have mention regularly, my niece is a strong advocate for me, as I have no children. Even though I got positive results from cardio tests, she and I are now talking about me following through on something I have considered in the past. Moving to a senior community. She would like me to live closer to her. We have always been very close, and she wants to be able to visit more, and have me closer to her for various reasons.

I, at first, had thought I would always stay in my home. But, the challenges of the last few months have gotten me to see that I miss people. I miss interacting with people. I want to People more. Plus, giving up the responsibility of taking care of a house , which is becoming ever so much more of a challenge, makes me want to consider a change. For example, the neighbor who mowed my lawn, and plowed my drive has moved out of state. I have someone mowing my lawn, but do not know who I will get to plow. I have a very short drive, two cars wide, but I know I cannot do it myself. Shoveling the ramp is challenging enough.
Julie found a complex, back in my home town, which is for seniors, and rent is income based. We figured I would be paying less for rent than I am paying for lot rent here. And the rent includes all utilities except electric, and the place is cable ready. There is a recreation area, community room, small store and a place I can go for one meal a day in the community dining room .
We are going to go out and look in the next week or two.
I am tired of being alone. Especially now. Neighbors are moving away, and I am just missing being able to see others.
Click to expand...
Marie, I can understand your wanting to move, and I'm so happy that you have a niece who is so loving and supportive, I remember some pictures in the past that you posted of the two of you. She seems like a nice gal and a good person.

I am also saying now, that I love my home of over forty years and if something happened to my husband, I would want to stay here even if alone. But, I know that feelings change, and I can't say how I would think of things in the future if I had to maintain my house by myself, and live here alone without my husband and best friend. Also, I don't know if my health will hold up in future years.

I may also want to be in an environment with more people and less physical work and responsibilities. I also have no kids, but have no relatives near me to help me if needed. You are lucky, and I wish you the best in your future. I looked at your link and it looks like a great place. Thinking of you always....hugs. 🧡
 
Sounds nice Marie!

Definitely go and check it out.

Get your name on the waiting list and talk to your PCP about any assistance that they can provide that might help you with the priority placement.

Be sure to keep us posted on what you find.
 
Sounds like a fine idea, Marie! Get your name on the waiting list ASAP because it can take for-freaking-ever to move up to the top of the list, especially in a small complex.

The senior apartments in my home town have a rule that when a person's name gets to the top and they're offered an apartment, it's take it or...your name goes back down to the bottom of the list. Be prepared to move with only about a month's notice.
 
Hope it turns out as good as it looks because it sounds wonderful! Especially being close to Julie. And the reasons you're listing are only going to become greater issues with time.

Hoping for a happy update!
 
For me, it will never happen. I would die rather than go into one of those places. I know many people cannot live on their own after a while, I also just learned as many other have that the abuse and neglect that went on was just plain disgusting. Not all are bad, I know that. But they are not for me.
 
Lakeland living said:
For me, it will never happen. I would die rather than go into one of those places. I know many people cannot live on their own after a while, I also just learned as many other have that the abuse and neglect that went on was just plain disgusting. Not all are bad, I know that. But they are not for me.
Click to expand...
It’s a senior apartment not assisted living or a nursing home, as I understand. @Lakeland living The services she can get are the services I could get here, in my home, with or without my husband if we qualified by income. We don’t. We are always short of money as we provide a lot of help to the group home fellows that my son lives with.

They are in disabled assisted living and all their money pays for their expenses.
 
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