Daughter just never contacts me ... I am so lost

I interact with a lot of my family members via Facebook.
I'm terrible at phone calls but I do send messages via FB quite often.
I have a new persona with the grandkids, who are all adults now.
I'm G'ma and they think that is cooler than Grandma.
 

Gary O' said:
I dunno, maybe I’m wunna them
Folks never called me, ‘cept Dad in his last year (up to then, he was busy living in the future)
Kids contact me about once a year maybe

I figger it this way;
They are living their lives
Adult lives
Busy
With work (work today is hectic, no matter what it is)
With their kids (kids are weird these days)

If I called them, and maybe too much, well, even if they begin to respond, it kinda ruins things
It’s like someone saying their sorry after asking them

I’d leave it lay
They’ll call or write when they feel the need themselves

And it’ll be the best ever, not a chore on their part
Click to expand...
Those are my feelings also. Couldn't have said it better.
 
This is going to sound terrible , and perhaps it is ? But it is honest.

I don't have any family really. Divorced over 40yrs , no kids. I have a half sister in another state, but we just never stayed 'close' . I have seen her only once since our mother died in 1997. Sometimes we send cards...B/D & Christmas....sometimes not. The 'not' doesn't upset me, and doubt it does her.

I have heard so many horror stories over the years, I'm glad I don't. I expect nothing from no one , and no one expects from me. As such I spend no time wringing my hands over ?? And no one pines for me.

As for kids? Again, glad I have none...some of the stories I have heard over the years are down right scary, and even more of them sad.

But !...I think the 'seed' of the adult-child relationship is planted when the adult-child is still just a child. What is it said?...we reap what we sow?

A friend was perplexed about his daughters reluctance to come & care for him in his hour of need. I kept my nose out of it, till he [sort of] pushed the issue looking for an agreement from me. Finally my response was not what he wanted to hear. I knew/know, the man for all the years of his daughter's life, from the time she was mid high-school, through to this day.

Without going into particulars, he wasn't there for her...but did IMO shower her with 'things'...well now she lives for 'things'....and has little to no time for him.

I don't think he ever accepted that ?...but did get over being pissed at me .

Who will take care of me ?...when I am in my advanced years . Me....All I hope for is that the mailman will call 911 before the mail collects too deep on the porch floor.
 

Besides just growing apart with time, different interests, schedules etc there was probably a slow cooking issue that finally prevailed. You're not the only one. I've witnessed stuffff at funerals, holidays dinners, during catastrophic illnesses etc. There could be an unresolved or unaddressed issue from decades ago. I notice many when it comes to relationships become or are not articulate which makes it much more difficult. When ever you do communicate get right to the point and keep the conversation moving if it stalls. But don't be surprised if no results. Not implying but I've noticed in someway alcohol and/or drugs plays a part in many a family dispute or feud with at least one of the parties. Again though you're not unique, I've seen it play out too often.
 

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