Depression

I thought forum members might like to hear and see Nina Simone performing "For all we know"

I find it so moving I am moved to tears but in a good way where you feel lucky to be alive at the end of it (I hope you know what I mean?).

Anyway, here is the link, and although the sound is dodgy on this live performance the way she delivers the song and even those musicians supporting her all makes it worth your attention I think:

~https://youtu.be/6proYaAfwt

Not sure if these links are working

~https://youtu.be/6proYaAfwt
 

Last edited:
I can speak about depression from the standpoint of having lived with someone who suffers from it. My wife has had three serious bouts of depression over the years and after the last one her doctor told her she'd likely be on an anti-depressant for the rest of her life.

The first bout with this insidious disorder came after my wife was laid off from a job she'd held for 18 years. Suddenly here she was at home all day, alone, having lost the only job she'd known since graduating college, unfamiliar with looking for work, no computer skills at the time and it really threw her for a loop as time dragged on.

At first the signs were subtle. I'd come home from work and she'd still be in her night gown. Talking about her job search was difficult and she didn't want to engage in conversation. She had few friends to turn to and none near us. There were bouts of crying, sleeplessness, lack of energy, etc. I became increasingly worried about her emotional state and put in a call to our employee assistance plan (EAP) advisers, described her symptoms and expressed my fears about her situation. They set up an appointment with a counselor right away. My wife later told me that when the counselor asked her what was going on, she burst into uncontrolled crying she was in so much pain. It was awful.

Fortunately, with the introduction of a mild anti-depressant (she's tried a few and one finally worked), her symptoms were gradually pushed into the background for a few years. There have been two others triggered by situational circumstances, the last one was several years ago. She and I now both know the symptoms. My wife has tried to wean herself from the anti-depressant medication, but it's been tough because over time she can feel herself slipping back. Most recently she cut back on the low dose she's on, but has felt the need to go back to her daily schedule.

Speaking as her spouse, it was tough for me going through this because it was unfamiliar territory. Before realizing what we were dealing with there was the feeling like she was just "down in the dumps." "You're just going through a tough patch, it'll get better" friends would say. Then there was the feeling of irritation that came with finding her sitting on the couch all day, the house a mess, breakfast dishes still in the sink after I'd put in a stressful day. Trying to get her to talk resulted in sullen disengagement. I didn't know how to help the woman I loved. I could see how much distress she was in. I was worried about things she was saying at the time and will forever be grateful that we had somewhere to turn for help.
 
Bobw235 said:
I can speak about depression from the standpoint of having lived with someone who suffers from it. My wife has had three serious bouts of depression over the years and after the last one her doctor told her she'd likely be on an anti-depressant for the rest of her life.

The first bout with this insidious disorder came after my wife was laid off from a job she'd held for 18 years. Suddenly here she was at home all day, alone, having lost the only job she'd known since graduating college, unfamiliar with looking for work, no computer skills at the time and it really threw her for a loop as time dragged on.

At first the signs were subtle. I'd come home from work and she'd still be in her night gown.

Break

Speaking as her spouse, it was tough for me going through this because it was unfamiliar territory. Before realizing what we were dealing with there was the feeling like she was just "down in the dumps." "You're just going through a tough patch, it'll get better" friends would say. Then there was the feeling of irritation that came with finding her sitting on the couch all day, the house a mess, breakfast dishes still in the sink after I'd put in a stressful day. Trying to get her to talk resulted in sullen disengagement. I didn't know how to help the woman I loved. I could see how much distress she was in. I was worried about things she was saying at the time and will forever be grateful that we had somewhere to turn for help.
Click to expand...

That's a very moving account and you first line on signs is telling, sometimes the early signs are subtle but we can't live thinking everyone around us is on the verge of a breakdown. My father learned to cope with my mother's depressive episodes, some of them serious enough to require her going into hospital. The first one for her happened in 1947, just six months after they were married, though she got better by going home to her parents and with good psychiatric help. The psychiatrist got my father to agree to them telling my mother what a selfish man she'd married, and he was willing to accept that if it helped get her better (no doubt he was a bit selfish too, but it was very big of him to do this and keep it up for the rest of their lives). My mother totally believed the psychiatrist telling her how selfish dad was and it did help move some of the negatives thoughts she must have had about herself.

Then poor old dad had to cope with seeing me very very low for so long too and once again he did all he could not to blame you for the way you were behaving (another sister has had even worse breakdowns but my father still said he was proud of her for the good things she had in her personality, like an inability to tell lies, and unbelievable memory).

To cap all this I'm going to post a link to something that might help us all laugh a little - I hope it makes us laugh anyway (no, I've changed my mind, as it feels a little insensitive to post it now, after your story concerning your wife, so I'll post it later on.
 

Bobw235 said:
I can speak about depression from the standpoint of having lived with someone who suffers from it. My wife has had three serious bouts of depression over the years and after the last one her doctor told her she'd likely be on an anti-depressant for the rest of her life.

The first bout with this insidious disorder came after my wife was laid off from a job she'd held for 18 years. Suddenly here she was at home all day, alone, having lost the only job she'd known since graduating college, unfamiliar with looking for work, no computer skills at the time and it really threw her for a loop as time dragged on.

At first the signs were subtle. I'd come home from work and she'd still be in her night gown. Talking about her job search was difficult and she didn't want to engage in conversation. She had few friends to turn to and none near us. There were bouts of crying, sleeplessness, lack of energy, etc. I became increasingly worried about her emotional state and put in a call to our employee assistance plan (EAP) advisers, described her symptoms and expressed my fears about her situation. They set up an appointment with a counselor right away. My wife later told me that when the counselor asked her what was going on, she burst into uncontrolled crying she was in so much pain. It was awful.

Fortunately, with the introduction of a mild anti-depressant (she's tried a few and one finally worked), her symptoms were gradually pushed into the background for a few years. There have been two others triggered by situational circumstances, the last one was several years ago. She and I now both know the symptoms. My wife has tried to wean herself from the anti-depressant medication, but it's been tough because over time she can feel herself slipping back. Most recently she cut back on the low dose she's on, but has felt the need to go back to her daily schedule.

Speaking as her spouse, it was tough for me going through this because it was unfamiliar territory. Before realizing what we were dealing with there was the feeling like she was just "down in the dumps." "You're just going through a tough patch, it'll get better" friends would say. Then there was the feeling of irritation that came with finding her sitting on the couch all day, the house a mess, breakfast dishes still in the sink after I'd put in a stressful day. Trying to get her to talk resulted in sullen disengagement. I didn't know how to help the woman I loved. I could see how much distress she was in. I was worried about things she was saying at the time and will forever be grateful that we had somewhere to turn for help.
Click to expand...

Interesting, as I have also "been blessed" with a spouse who has suffered from bouts of depression. I knew she suffered from low self-esteem, early on. In the Spring of 1976, we were in financial distress... I took a job on the road, leaving her home with a 4 year old and 7 months pregnant... her father went in for some minor surgery and bled out on the operating table... our second daughter was born premature less than a week after we buried her father. She was struggling, as well anyone would. I was at work when the company owner pulled up and said "get in". He didn't observe many speed limit signs on the drive to our home. My wife suddenly did not know or claim either on of the girls. She had totally "lost it".
After that, during the last 40 years of our marriage, there have been a number of times when she has been close to being 'pushed over the edge'. Probably been as healthy as ever this past 5 to 10 years as I've seen her.

When she was having the most trouble, the physicians told her to "get over it!" Two I remember explicitly, told her it was all in her head and she just needed to "grow up". But, that has been many years ago before there was much motivation to diagnose someone as having mental issues. Women were supposed to be kept "barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen"... and most certainly not complain. Together we worked through some difficult times in our 50+ years together and seem to have survived.

During those times, we had a daughter diagnosed with depression. The mental health folks medicated and that seemed to cause even more issues. We now have a granddaughter who is severely handicapped with mental disorders and, instead of working with her, they want to simply hand her pills. At 19 years old, she has found she can make more spending money selling the prescribed pills than taking them. Sheesh!!!

There have been some times I have thought the "depression bug" has attacked me. Yet, with some issues at home, I have always told myself that I must be the strong one. Have had some long "cries" when things have gotten bad, but those have been by myself to not show I might be getting close to breaking. The Good Lord seems to have assisted in helping me keep it together. So, I'll probably be the first to begin early dementia and those who I've tried to be strong for will be the "caretakers". :>)

I still believe not nearly enough has been done to "fix" the mental health issues. Psychiatrists want to prescribe pills and send you home. Psychologists want to have half-hour sessions week after week after week... sorta like a chiropractor... until your insurance is exhausted. Then, I guess, you are considered "cured". Why can't we put the money and impetus on treating mental health... depression... just as a disease? Why can't we consider depression the same as the flu, a cancer, diabetes, etc.? Nope. We have the social elite who want to brag in their bridge clubs about their seeing a psychiatrist... while those same elite want to strip any and all funding from mental health care for the less fortunate.

Rant off......
 
Thank you for that post. As with Bob's it is very moving to hear these stories especially being told so thoughtfully.

I'll keep that amusing link back a bit longer I reckon, as in my opinion nothing should detract from your words, and hopefully, anyone reading them will benefit in some way.
 

Attachments

  • laura tapestry5.jpg
    laura tapestry5.jpg
    109.2 KB · Views: 94
Last edited:
I am amazed at the number of advertised Drugs that list DEPRESSION as a possible side effect. When then? You take another DRUG to alleviate the Depression?
 
Thought provoking posts, poignant also. After my recent crash and burn, I am reminded of how vulnerable we all can be. For those affected, if they are fortunate, they are able to manage clinical depression, at least most of the time. Situational depression can

flatten anyone, if the circumstances present themselves. All of us have a breaking point. For many, meds are a godsend, although they don't work

for everyone. Certainly, they never were more than a bandaid for me, and they stole the depth of my poetry, my intensity, and a certain amount of empathy, it was like being half alive. This illness is not about being "tough", but resilient. Twenty percent of the population is deemed to be extremely sensitive, more open to acute depression brought on by negative life experiences.

Speaking to my own reality, getting back up after skiing on one's nose in the gravel, is incredibly taxing. For those who do this repeatedly throughout their lives, you have my admiration and respect. I salute your courage and perseverance. This is strength in it's pure state. Salut mes amis!
 
Last edited:
I can only speak for myself (obviously!), but I've been on Prozac for years and it keeps me stable. Without it, I can easily fall "into the dungeon" and it gives me the ability to do other things to keep my depression at bay - exercising, yoga, etc.

I agree with Butterfly - the drugs are a godsend for someone who suffers from clinical depression.
 
Shalimar said:
Thought provoking posts, poignant also. After my recent crash and burn, I am reminded of how vulnerable we all can be. For those affected, if they are fortunate, they are able to manage clinical depression, at least most of the time. Situational depression can

flatten anyone, if the circumstances present themselves. All of us have a breaking point. For many, meds are a godsend, although they don't work

for everyone. Certainly, they never were more than a bandaid for me, and they stole the depth of my poetry, my intensity, and a certain amount of empathy, it was like being half alive. This illness is not about being "tough", but resilient. Twenty percent of the population is deemed to be extremely sensitive, more open to acute depression bought on by negative life experiences.

Speaking to my own reality, getting back up after skiing on one's nose in the gravel, is incredibly taxing. For those who do this repeatedly throughout their lives, you have my admiration and respect. I salute your courage and perseverance. This is strength in it's pure state. Salut mes amis!
Click to expand...
:thumbsup1:
 
One problem I've run into is that none of the psychiatrists in my area will accept Medicare. At least, none I could find after an extensive search. Some don't accept any kind of medical coverage anymore. I previously had a med from my primary doctor, but it wasn't working well. Psychologists can be found who accept Medicare, yes, but they can't prescribe. A very perplexing problem, as I felt like I needed psychiatric help. I'm also ADD (not on any med for that), which makes it harder on getting the right med for depression. Anyway, I was told when I called Medicare that if a patient can't find a psychiatrist who does accept Medicare, then you can file your own claims after the visit and explain that you couldn't find one who takes that coverage. So I paid for one expensive visit and was put on Prestiq. Probably won't get very much back, but we will see. This, from what I understand, is related to the very low compensation rate given to psychiatrists by Medicare...and also by other health insurance in some cases. So patients are caught in the middle in this mess. I've been treated for depression before, but long ago...and back then I had no such problems seeing a psychiatrist. I have ChampVA for a secondary coverage.
 
There seems to be a huge difference between situational depression and clinical depression. I have a friend who is clinically depressed, and after struggling most of her life, after a couple of years of adjusting depression meds she finally arrived at a happy balance. I was really depressed after hubby died. And it lasted some 2 years. I am also an introvert, but for me the two are not related. I have always enjoyed solitude more than company, that was not a result of my depression, although people drove me nuts trying to drag me out into company. Which, being an introvert, depressed me even more. Group activities, oh, the horror! I wish people would understand and respect introversion, it has nothing to do with unhappiness, it's it's own thing and introverts can be very happy people.

My situational depression went through the stages of grief and finally subsided. Now, after 5 years, I still miss him and the depression recurs occasionally, but is manageable now. Thankfully people have given up of dragging me to social functions. What a relief!

Suicide - I am all for death with dignity. Depending on how things go with me, I will likely make use of it if and when the time comes. No point to just suffering without any possibility of improvement. I think relatives forcing people to stay alive and just suffer for a few more days, weeks or months are the selfish ones.
 
Lon said:
I am amazed at the number of advertised Drugs that list DEPRESSION as a possible side effect. When then? You take another DRUG to alleviate the Depression?
Click to expand...

You know, I think that is how it works and that is why I don't always trust the pharmaceutical business. It's very difficult to figure out how far one wants to go with pills, often you get a pill, then a pill to alleviate the side effects, then another to alleviate those new side effects etc. Some people take like 20 pills that way. Hopefully mine keep to treating actual original issues only. It does get confusing.
 
During my search for psychiatrists, I called Medicare and then called the psychiatrists on their list for my area. Most weren't accepting Medicare anymore and some weren't accepting new patients at all, in which case I didn't ask about Medicare acceptance. So that is when I called back and they told me about the other alternative. A cardiologist I saw thought he could find a psychiatrist for me, but all he came up with was an NP who didn't even have real training in psychiatry. What I have probably clinical depression. Guess I'll go back to my primary doctor and let him order the Prestiq. Hopefully, that will work. I have a husband who has been disabled and chronically ill for 15 years to take care of, so I have to be able to function...there is nobody else who can help.
 
Some alternative ways of dealing with depression, more HERE.

Magnesium Supplements, Omega-3 and B Vitamins Decrease Depression

Another alternative to antidepressants could come in the form of magnesium supplements. Research published in PLOS One revealed that magnesium supplements led to improvements in mild-to-moderate depression in adults, with beneficial effects occurring within two weeks of treatment. "It works quickly and is well tolerated without the need for close monitoring for toxicity," the researchers said.[SUP]17
[/SUP]

Magnesium acts as a catalyst for mood-regulating neurotransmitters like serotonin, and research published in 2015 also revealed a significant association between very low magnesium intake and depression, especially in younger adults.[SUP]18[/SUP] Beyond magnesium, the animal-based omega-3 fats EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid) and DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) are also crucial for brain health.


The 2001 book, "The Omega-3 Connection," written by Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Andrew Stoll, was among the first works to bring attention to, and support the use of, omega-3 fats for depression, and they've been shown to lead to improvements in major depressive disorder.[SUP]19[/SUP] Making sure you're getting enough omega-3s in your diet, either from wild Alaskan salmon, sardines, herring, mackerel and anchovies, or a high-quality animal-based omega-3 supplement, is crucial for optimal mental health.


B vitamins are also important, and low levels of B vitamins are common in patients with depression, while vitamin B supplements have been shown to improve symptoms.[SUP]20[/SUP]
Further, in a study of 9,700 vegetarian (including a small number of vegan) men, vegetarians were nearly twice as likely to suffer from depression as meat eaters, even after adjusting for variables like job status, family history and number of children.[SUP]21[/SUP] Vegetarians tend to have lower intakes of omega-3 fats, vitamin B12 and folate, which could affect depression risk.


In the case of folate, it helps your body produce mood-regulating neurotransmitters, including serotonin and dopamine. One 2012 study found people who consumed the most folate had a lower risk of depression than those who ate the least.[SUP]22[/SUP] Addressing nutrient deficiencies, as well as optimizing your diet, are keys to mental health and should be first-line strategies to treating depression.

Light Therapy for Depression

Another option that shows promise is light therapy. Full-spectrum light therapy is often recommended over antidepressants for the treatment of seasonal affective disorder (SAD), but it may be preferable even for major depression. Light therapy alone and placebo were both more effective than Prozac for the treatment of moderate to severe depression in an eight-week long study.[SUP]27

[/SUP]

Further, in a study of patients with bipolar disorder, who have recurrent major depression, bright white light therapy was also effective in boosting mood, with 68 percent achieving a normal mood after four to six weeks of treatment compared to 22 percent of those who received a placebo treatment.[SUP]28

[/SUP]

Along these lines, exposure to sunlight is also important, not only because it will help optimize your vitamin D levels (another factor linked to depression[SUP]29[/SUP]) but also because via other mechanisms, like regulating your circadian rhythm and production of serotonin, which is released in response to sunlight exposure.

Exercise — Even One Hour a Week — Is Crucial

Even a minimal amount of exercise may be enough to combat depression in some people — as minimal as one hour a week, according to an 11-year study in which people who engaged in regular leisure-time exercise for one hour a week were less likely to become depressed.


On the flipside, those who didn't exercise were 44 percent more likely to become depressed compared to those who did so for at least one to two hours a week.[SUP]30[/SUP] "The majority of this protective effect occurred at low levels of exercise and was observed regardless of intensity," the researchers said, adding that, "assuming the relationship is causal, 12 percent of future cases of depression could have been prevented if all participants had engaged in at least one hour of physical activity each week."[SUP]31[/SUP]
Click to expand...
 
Good information SB. :)

Damage to my central nervous system from medical treatment regimen had caused a marked downturn in my normally positive outlook.

I exercise an hour every day, in addition to my normal daily activities. Magnesium is reported to help, but I began talking magnesium supplements to address muscular pain/stiffness.

B supplements are of value, in so many ways.

[my laptop battery is dying]

It's all about the Serotonin and Dopamine levels. ;)
 
This is a subject I’ve learned quite a bit about in the last 3-4 years. I’ve been really sad a few times in my life, especially when my oldest son was murdered back in 1992. But as I had his two small children to take care of, I couldn’t do other than try and get them to see that the world would continue.

Then in 2012, my husband, Michael, became ill and I was consumed with his problems. In February of 2013, my youngest son died from a sudden illness, and that following December, Michael died from his illness. That brought me to my knees, and I entered a very deep depression. I thought I’d never make it out.

Around this time last year, I became friends with someone that was dealing with depression as well, and I thought I could help. Not so, I was way in over my head. I ended up feeling as if I was making the whole thing worse. I then felt I was only contributing that person’s demise. I existed that relationship poorly. Although now I understand I went about that the wrong way, things got better for that person.

But, it also woke me up, and I went to my doctor and told him just what had happened. He gave me a prescription for a couple months to bring me out of my suicidal plung. It did help, but I now was so distrustful of mental health providers that I refused to seek professional help.

After a few months my doctor and I became real friends, and early last spring he started visiting me at my home. Because I have sun poisoning and can’t get out in the summer sun, he got me interested in a Tower Garden set up for my kitchen, and with his training I now have a fine year round garden. It took awhile before I caught on to his version of counseling, but it worked, and recently I notice my desire to smile and laugh were waking up. So I might not be totally out of my depression, but the world is looking good again.

Recently I dug up my courage, and I did my best to apologize and explain to the person I felt I had wronged. I can only hope and pray to be forgiven in the future.
 
Ina said:
This is a subject I’ve learned quite a bit about in the last 3-4 years. I’ve been really sad a few times in my life, especially when my oldest son was murdered back in 1992. But as I had his two small children to take care of, I couldn’t do other than try and get them to see that the world would continue.

Then in 2012, my husband, Michael, became ill and I was consumed with his problems. In February of 2013, my youngest son died from a sudden illness, and that following December, Michael died from his illness. That brought me to my knees, and I entered a very deep depression. I thought I’d never make it out.

Around this time last year, I became friends with someone that was dealing with depression as well, and I thought I could help. Not so, I was way in over my head. I ended up feeling as if I was making the whole thing worse. I then felt I was only contributing that person’s demise. I existed that relationship poorly. Although now I understand I went about that the wrong way, things got better for that person.

But, it also woke me up, and I went to my doctor and told him just what had happened. He gave me a prescription for a couple months to bring me out of my suicidal plung. It did help, but I now was so distrustful of mental health providers that I refused to seek professional help.

After a few months my doctor and I became real friends, and early last spring he started visiting me at my home. Because I have sun poisoning and can’t get out in the summer sun, he got me interested in a Tower Garden set up for my kitchen, and with his training I now have a fine year round garden. It took awhile before I caught on to his version of counseling, but it worked, and recently I notice my desire to smile and laugh were waking up. So I might not be totally out of my depression, but the world is looking good again.

Recently I dug up my courage, and I did my best to apologize and explain to the person I felt I had wronged. I can only hope and pray to be forgiven in the future.
Click to expand...
So what was the magic pill (anti depressant) that worked for you? I am debating on whether to go see a shrink or not. This being in a funk is getting pretty sucky for me.
 
I have not read the whole thread, but if those on anti depressants can give suggestions of what worked, what didn't, which made you feel like a damn zombie, which didn't..I would appreciate it.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top