Diner Owner Yells at Crying/Screaming Baby, After 40 Minutes of it She Couldn't Take Anymore

Nowhere in this online spat between the parents and the cafe owners do the parents say their child is autistic. They say that the owner or other diners should have approached them quietly and say the crying was bothering them. Errrm..sorry if you haven't got the sense to know your own child crying for 40 minutes is upsetting other people you're clearly very self centred, and why would you not discover why your child is crying for so long and pacify them? .

That said, this spat seems to have escalated out of all proportion. The Cafe owner is not showing herself in a good light with her continual arguing back and forth online with the parents.
 

AZ Jim said:
Good for her. She did what her parents should have done. If people have a child prone to that, don't take that child out to eat. Other people deserve to eat in peace.
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Jim, that means that parents with say autistic children can never eat out? sometimes they have to depending on circumstances and also children need to be as normal as possible in the world as it were.Granted, waiting a long time and not leaving the cafe was a mistake by the parents , especially if it turns out the child doesn't have any problems.
 
I have a friend with a seriously disabled niece who was taken to all the family dos -- everyone found it very uncomfortable, but nothing bad happened and there was no screaming. That is another subject altogether though.
 

Holly, often parents are in denial about their child, and 2 is a bit young to have a diagnosis anyway, but normal children do not carry on with a meltdown for as long. one of the parents at least aught to have taken her outside for a while to calm down.Having said that, having autism in our family has made me less prone to judge what appears to be bad behaviour in young ones.
 
oakapple said:
Jim, that means that parents with say autistic children can never eat out? sometimes they have to depending on circumstances and also children need to be as normal as possible in the world as it were.Granted, waiting a long time and not leaving the cafe was a mistake by the parents , especially if it turns out the child doesn't have any problems.
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OA, yes, if it means my little child is subject to lengthy tantrums or crying jags, don't take them out to public eating establishments where others are paying for a peaceful dinner. It is selfish of one family to destroy the dinners of dozens of others by putting them in that position. So, yes a sacrifice for one family maybe, but a blessing for many others.
 
oakapple said:
Holly, often parents are in denial about their child, and 2 is a bit young to have a diagnosis anyway, but normal children do not carry on with a meltdown for as long. one of the parents at least aught to have taken her outside for a while to calm down.Having said that, having autism in our family has made me less prone to judge what appears to be bad behaviour in young ones.
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Well said Oakapple, I am the same as yourself.
 
People trying to find a medical excuse for just about everything gets old and tiresome. I think sometimes others just want to inject their own personal stories into the discussion.

Maybe the parents were deaf. Maybe the owner is bi-polar, or an alcoholic. Maybe, maybe, maybe…

If autism had been a factor you can be sure that would have been brought out. It wasn’t. Even so, 40 minutes is way too long for the screaming to go on. After 5 – maybe 10 minutes I would have asked owner to do something. If she didn’t I would have left.
 
applecruncher said:
People trying to find a medical excuse for just about everything gets old and tiresome. I think sometimes others just want to inject their own personal stories into the discussion.

Maybe the parents were deaf. Maybe the owner is bi-polar, or an alcoholic. Maybe, maybe, maybe…

If autism had been a factor you can be sure that would have been brought out. It wasn’t. Even so, 40 minutes is way too long for the screaming to go on. After 5 – maybe 10 minutes I would have asked owner to do something. If she didn’t I would have left.
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Not neccessaryly so, my grandaughter has had to endure a lot of nastiness from ignorant people owing to her daughters behaviour through autism but never once has she pulled the autistic card to make excuses for the behaviour, she has rose above all the nastiness and let it go over her head............Apologies for inserting personal stories into the discussion which I often see happen in discussions on here so what's new???

If I am totally honest I don't believe for one minute that the child was screaming for 40 minutes and if that woman had screamed at my child the way she said she did, she would have got short shrift from me.
 
hollydolly said:
Believe me cookie I have been on planes where babies have cried all the way through direct flights of up to 5 hours, nothing is ever done...can't see tbh how anything could be done in mid -air. ...but there's nothing worse than having a baby screaming on a plane...you can't escape it . I always take ear plugs on a flight, it helps to drown it out even just a little bit.
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I was on a flight to California a few years ago and the child behind me threw a 5-hour non-stop tantrum. Not just crying or whining or grizzling, but a full-out tantrum. The father would periodically get up and carry the child up and down the aisle with no noticeable results. Her slightly older brother was sitting right behind me and kicked the back of my seat for the entire five hours. I have never been so glad to get off a plane......
 
I had read that the parents were ignoring their childs's screaming, so it seems the child must be ignored quite often, if they can ignore her for 40 minutes of screaming. 10 minutes straight of screaming would be time enough to ask the diners to leave, and it's surprising other diners didn't complain. I feel sorry for the little one if her parents can't even pay attention to her during all that upset, and also feel sorry for the diners out to have an enjoyable meal and have it ruined by 40 minutes of screaming.
 
Autism is not one recognizable illness with clear and present symptoms, but a spectrum neurological disorder. Sometimes it is present very early, other times is not recognizable until much later. It is not a character flaw correctable by proper parenting. I have a cousin who is autistic, no one present would wish to have experienced his childhood. It is very easy to be critical, if one lacks personal exposure to the incredible challenges faced by individuals and their families/friends, who face the very real difficulties posed by mental/neurological illness. Some things cannot be managed by pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. Also, this forum provides a venue for people to interject their personal stories, if they so desire. For some that may be the only connection they have.
 
I was thinking the mother already did get a lawyer & will use traumatization as the injury & sue, hoping at least for an out of court settlement. There have been alot more frivilous lawsuits than this would be, however far fetched it is.
 
Ahem, Applecruncher, you seem to be very aggressive about this.I was not inserting a long winded personal story after all, just suggesting that sometimes when you see ' bad behaviour' you can't always jump to conclusions about the cause, poor parenting etc.simply because I do have first hand knowledge of what autistic behaviour can be like. Bee and Shalimar understand this too.When a child is only two years old, there will be no official diagnosis of anything, and all the parents know is that their child is extremely difficult.Sometimes they will have to eat out ( on their way somewhere and need food.) This was just a suggestion, as the behaviour of the child was not normal.
 
oakapple said:
Ahem, Applecruncher, you seem to be very aggressive about this.I was not inserting a long winded personal story after all, just suggesting that sometimes when you see ' bad behaviour' you can't always jump to conclusions about the cause, poor parenting etc.simply because I do have first hand knowledge of what autistic behaviour can be like. Bee and Shalimar understand this too.When a child is only two years old, there will be no official diagnosis of anything, and all the parents know is that their child is extremely difficult.Sometimes they will have to eat out ( on their way somewhere and need food.) This was just a suggestion, as the behaviour of the child was not normal.
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"Sometimes"
"Maybe" this, "Maybe" that

Often bad behavior and poor parenting are just that - bad behavior and poor parenting. Armchair internet diagnoses and personal experiences notwithstanding, there is nothing in the thread title, opening post, or the facts of the actual story which have anything to do with autism. If you want to talk about autism, fine, you and others are free to do so (in a separate thread the Health forum).
 
applecruncher said:
"Sometimes"
"Maybe" this, "Maybe" that

Armchair internet diagnoses notwithstanding, there is nothing in the opening post or the actual story which has anything to do with autism. If you want to talk about autism, fine, you and others are welcome to do so (in a separate thread the Health forum).
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Whoa....come on AC let's not play moderator here.
 
Alll speculation on this forum around this topic is armchair philosiphying. Considering the limited knowledge available at this time, autism is as good a behavioural diagnosis as any. Some of us have personal/professional experience in this area. We are not categorically labeling anyone as autistic, merely raising the possibility of alternate reasons for this toddler's behaviour. Most mental health professionals would see warning signs in such a prolonged bout of weeping for no discernable reason. Should the moderator feel our comments belong on another thread, I am certain we will be so advised. Until then we are free to post our opinions courteously, like everyone else. This is what constitutes debate after all, not preaching to the choir.
 
AZ Jim said:
Good for her. She did what her parents should have done. If people have a child prone to that, don't take that child out to eat. Other people deserve to eat in peace.
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absolutely agree. If your child can't behave in a restaurant, don't take him/her to one. Once there, however, it is the parents' responsibility to be sure the child does not disrupt the peace of other people. If they can't manage him/her, get the child out of there. No excuses.
 
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