Diner Owner Yells at Crying/Screaming Baby, After 40 Minutes of it She Couldn't Take Anymore

Shalimar said:
Alll speculation on this forum around this topic is armchair philosiphying. Considering the limited knowledge available at this time, autism is as good a behavioural diagnosis as any. Some of us have personal/professional experience in this area. We are not categorically labeling anyone as autistic, merely raising the possibility of alternate reasons for this toddler's behaviour. Most mental health professionals would see warning signs in such a prolonged bout of weeping for no discernable reason. Should the moderator feel our comments belong on another thread, I am certain we will be so advised. Until then we are free to post our opinions courteously, like everyone else. This is what constitutes debate after all, not preaching to the choir.
Click to expand...
Could not have put this better myself.
 

Butterfly said:
Even if the child WERE autistic, is it acceptable behavior for the parents to let the child scream for 40 minutes in a restaurant? I think not.
Click to expand...

You're right Butterfly. A mental illness is not something anyone would wish on their child or anyone else's but if in fact this child was autistic whether undiagnosed or not, the parents would have been well aware that the child couldn't cope for lengthy periods in strange environment without becoming extremely upset, yet there doesn't seem to have been any attempt by them to pacify this child , or even be concerned as to why she might be crying for so long..instead just ignoring the childs' screaming knowing clearly that it would be upsetting everyone else around them.
 

I have now read several reports of this incident on the internet and read several different groups on Facebook ( for and against) and in all honesty I think the diner owner isn't a very nice person and shouldn't be in business where she comes into contact with the public.

I support the parents in this case.
 
Certainly, this scenario produces a wide variety of reactions among posters on this site. Good, debate is healthy. Somewhat puzzled however, by derisive remarks about the possibility of mental illness. Aggressive comments minimize unfairly the experiences of those posters brave enough to share their personal knowledge around Autism etc. Sadly, the stigma still exists. Where is the compassion? What is the attraction of blame? Unfortunately, the people who have the least credentials around such subjects, are often the first to sneer at those who do. No wonder people are gunshy around the whole Mental Health issue.
 
Parents ignored child. They weren’t interested in the ruckus child was causing.

“Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/definition/con-20032977
 
No no no..... you are all wrong.. The parents had personality disorders... perhaps Narcissistic..... The diner owner had to be Histrionic.. . hahahahahahah

Come on... these were ignorant parents who couldn't have cared less about the others in that diner and how they were being affected. No one was mentally ill... unless assholery is now in the DSM.
 
Should the parents have dealt with their child differently? Of course they should have made an attempt to calm the toddler. However we do not know the reason for their inaction, I am hesitant to label the behaviour as uncaring without further information.
 
I completed a thesis on Childhood Autism, only three years ago. Although I do not consider myself an expert, the panel before whom I defended my dissertation were. I hardly think I would have received my PHD if my research/conclusions lacked credibility, regardless of the derisive comments that some posters feel compelled to make.
 
Good for you Shalimar... I don't doubt your knowledge on autism.. and no one is saying that Autism is not a bad disease.. my oldest grandson has Asperger Syndrome... However, do you think that an autistic child should be allowed to disrupt the entire restaurant? Do you think people going out to enjoy a pleasant evening and have a nice dinner and conversation should be denied that right because a child has autism and that is his behavior? By that token... bulimia is a mental illness.. Should a bulimic be allowed to purge out in the middle of the restaurant, perhaps next to YOUR table?
 
QuickSilver said:
No no no..... you are all wrong.. The parents had personality disorders... perhaps Narcissistic..... The diner owner had to be Histrionic.. . hahahahahahah

Come on... these were ignorant parents who couldn't have cared less about the others in that diner and how they were being affected. No one was mentally ill... unless assholery is now in the DSM.
Click to expand...

Oh, QuickSilver....I love it. If "assholery" and it's ilk gets into the DSM, I'm going to be really, really glad I got out of the coding business.
 
Bee said:
I have now read several reports of this incident on the internet and read several different groups on Facebook ( for and against) and in all honesty I think the diner owner isn't a very nice person and shouldn't be in business where she comes into contact with the public.

I support the parents in this case.
Click to expand...

I think there's no question that the owner doesn't sound like the most pleasant person in the world, but I have to ask myself if......if she was a really, really good person, would the child have cried twice as long? It sounds to me like she did what she had to do to defuse the situation.
 
Butterfly said:
Even if the child WERE autistic, is it acceptable behavior for the parents to let the child scream for 40 minutes in a restaurant? I think not.
Click to expand...

Very good question, Butterfly, and it would be interesting to find out the answer, if it is acceptable behavior for the parents to let their autistic chiild scream for 40 minutes in a restaurant.
 
Disregarding any sort of neurological problem with the toddler..... She is exactly that, a toddler and having an adult yelling in your face at that age, not more than a baby is despicable.If the manager had had a forceful conversation with the parents, and even quietly asked them to leave , that would have been better.Is it acceptable to people here, to scream at babies?
 
oakapple said:
Disregarding any sort of neurological problem with the toddler..... She is exactly that, a toddler and having an adult yelling in your face at that age, not more than a baby is despicable.If the manager had had a forceful conversation with the parents, and even quietly asked them to leave ,that would have been better.Is it acceptable to people here, to scream at babies?
Click to expand...

Judging by the replies on here it seems like it is Oakapple.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Pam
oakapple said:
Disregarding any sort of neurological problem with the toddler..... She is exactly that, a toddler and having an adult yelling in your face at that age, not more than a baby is despicable.If the manager had had a forceful conversation with the parents, and even quietly asked them to leave , that would have been better.Is it acceptable to people here, to scream at babies?
Click to expand...


I'm not sure from what I've read that the cafe owner ''screamed in the toddlers' face''...she said that she leant on the counter and shouted out for it to stop!!
 
I had read that the parents ordered three large pancakes for the child, and when the parents wouldn't feed them to her, she started screaming. The owner asked the family to leave after all the screaming and the family refused, and then she yelled at the child to stop.
 
From what I have read, she yelled "THIS HAS TO STOP!" from behind the counter, not "in the child's face". I'd say she was yelling at the parents. I would be yelling at the parents. I like kids, even bratty kids. Heaven knows, I'm related to a few of them. I dislike irresponsible parents....unfortunately, I'm also related to a few of them. Irresponsible parents generally lead to bratty kids as far as I can tell. At least it does in my family.
 
QuickSilver said:
No no no..... you are all wrong.. The parents had personality disorders... perhaps Narcissistic..... The diner owner had to be Histrionic.. . hahahahahahah

Come on... these were ignorant parents who couldn't have cared less about the others in that diner and how they were being affected. No one was mentally ill... unless assholery is now in the DSM.
Click to expand...

If it isn't in there, maybe it should be -- it seems very prevalent nowdays.
 
1. We have no indication this child has any mental or visible symptom of any condition.
2. We have no indication this owner "yelled in the childs face".
3. Clearly the parents were thoughtless and unconcerned with other patrons.
4. The owner many not be diplomatic in approach by effective in results.
5. There is a very good possibility the child is a spoiled brat.

If I were the owner of that business I would have approached their table and quietly told them the bill was taken care of but I want them to leave. Should they refuse I would have told them I will call the police and have them removed. Some will disagree with my approach, but it is what I feel is most fair to my other customers.
 
not seen the video, I would not have yelled at the toddler or the parent, but would have asked them to leave immediately. I think signs should be put up in many places saying "please be advised, if your child continues to behave like a man on fire, you will be promptly escorted from these premises, consider yourself warned."
Just my honest opinion.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top