Do life's trials build character?

R

Rose65

Well-known Member
Location
United Kingdom
If so, I should be bursting with it!

Seriously, I have faced a lot and got through and ok I must have grown and matured as a result to a certain level.
However, I also feel utterly drained and weak. You can bet if one bad thing happens, more will pile on before you can rise up again. I am now more anxious about everything.

Do you feel stronger after adversity?
 

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Sometimes I feel stronger. If the adjustments I make to adapt to the changes feel stronger after the "relentless kicking". Sometimes I can just manage ok with things being screwed up. But, then sometimes I throw in the towel, and admit defeat, which is hardest of all. As the saying goes "You can't win 'em all." :)
 

Rose65 said:
I am now more anxious about everything.

Do you feel stronger after adversity?
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I'm more anxious about things now, but I think it is just because I'm older and don't have that feeling of invincibility that young people have.

For example, flat tires. I've had several in my lifetime, some before cell phones existed, and the older I've gotten the less I feel able to cope with something like that. When my father was old and dementia-ish he got a flat tire and just kept driving, arriving home driving on the rim and having carved a groove in the road for quite a ways (my brother tracked it back, ha). At the time my thought was 'OMG, Dad has totally lost it!', but now I can sympathize and would feel the temptation to do that myself.

I've only faced a few real challenges in life and I don't think they changed my character, though they made me aware of how many kind and helpful people there are in the world.
 
My perspective is that adversity, as well as 'good' experiences, shape our character, for good or ill depending on how we process and internalize those experiences. Not only how we describe (think and feel about) them but what we feel we've learned from them.

This is part of why siblings, even twins, may view their shared childhood hardships and adventures very differently. The same external circumstances that nurture adaptability and resilience in one might in another foster a need for control of their environment. Folly since we live in this world with billions of other people and their institutions. And we can only control (and it can take effort to do so) ourselves.

That said, like all of us, i have difficult moments. Over the years i've learned that i get thru them sooner and better if i can define why they are difficult for me, put a label on what i'm feeling, while letting myself actually feel it. Becomes much easier to let it pass, not overwhelm me.
 
Well I don't feel stonger after a particualrly hard time, but of course it makes me more aware that it can happen, and therefore I'm prepared after the intial shock of whatever caused the angst or upset...for the next time

I have been through a tremendous amount of horrible things in my life, suffice it to say if I wrote it all here most people wouldn't believe it happened to just one person... and I suppose that it has made me stronger..people are forever saying to me '' you're strong you can take it''.. that's clearly the Vibe I give off in real life.. and people are wrong...I just obviously hide my sensitivities very well.... sadly to my detriment at times..

There's a saying about cars which never work properly even from brand new and that is that ''it must have come off the assembly line on a Friday afternoon''...

I think I must have been made on a Friday afternoon....:sneaky:
 
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I lost my brother 2 and a half years ago to suicide. A year later my wife lost both of her parents 4 days apart. My father just passed away a week and a half ago. My mother has dementia and is in a long-term care facility.

Let's just say I've had enough 'character building' to last me a good while.

On the upside, my niece (my sister's daughter) is engaged to be married next year...and all 7 of the grandchildren are thriving. The next generation is steaming along! :)
 
When unpleasant things happen, it can make us bitter and resentful. This can stop us from enjoying the good times. I still feel very angry about the way my parents treated me, and angry at myself for not standing up to them. I know I should let go of the past, but our experiences influence the way we respond to any situation.
 
The trials and tribulations of character building is a concept designed to accept one's life in a positive light.
 
jujube said:
Somebody once said, "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger..."
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Bunk. Rarely true if it is meant literally. A often repeated saying with no understanding of experience No doctor agrees with that. Yet some people suffer almost no adversity or serious problems at all. Or you would like to have their problems
In theology hard times that build virtuous character are supposed to justify evils. But they don't!
 
I think growth and character building is depending on the person....
Many have had trials over and over again, did not grow from the experiences. That is a choice........ to not learn from trials and build character or expand your thoughts.
It is IMO a part of the victim mentality we are told nothing is our fault and life is suppose to be fair etc.

I try to take something out of any experience good or bad and learn something... change or reinforce my thoughts/ beliefs on a subject etc.
 
Rose65 said:
If so, I should be bursting with it!

Seriously, I have faced a lot and got through and ok I must have grown and matured as a result to a certain level.
However, I also feel utterly drained and weak. You can bet if one bad thing happens, more will pile on before you can rise up again. I am now more anxious about everything.
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^^^^ Amen.
 
Rose65 said:
If so, I should be bursting with it!

Seriously, I have faced a lot and got through and ok I must have grown and matured as a result to a certain level.
However, I also feel utterly drained and weak. You can bet if one bad thing happens, more will pile on before you can rise up again. I am now more anxious about everything.

Do you feel stronger after adversity?
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I'm a white woman of Anglo Saxon descent born in Sydney in WW II. I've been very lucky to have been born when I was, where I was and into the family that I have had. I've never gone hungry and always had a safe bed to sleep in.

I've never had any of the debilitating diseases that many children of my age had to suffer. I received a very good education at public schools and went to University on a scholarship. I married into a family with good values and have been blessed with children, grandchildren and now great grandchildren. I love them all and they love me.

My parents and other family members, now gone to their rest, endured the Great Depression and World War II. They lost loved ones in that conflict. Other children my age lost their fathers. Many women lost their sons.

I think I could summon up strength in adversity by thinking how others have handled it, but on a global index of adversity, I only register about 0.5 so I am yet to be tested.

@Rose65, I hope your time of trial is over. You have survived. Let yourself rest now and inwardly grow strong again.
 
Warrigal said:
I'm a white woman of Anglo Saxon descent born in Sydney in WW II. I've been very lucky to have been born when I was, where I was and into the family that I have had. I've never gone hungry and always had a safe bed to sleep in.

I've never had any of the debilitating diseases that many children of my age had to suffer. I received a very good education at public schools and went to University on a scholarship. I married into a family with good values and have been blessed with children, grandchildren and now great grandchildren. I love them all and they love me.

My parents and other family members, now gone to their rest, endured the Great Depression and World War II. They lost loved ones in that conflict. Other children my age lost their fathers. Many women lost their sons.

I think I could summon up strength in adversity by thinking how others have handled it, but on a global index of adversity, I only register about 0.5 so I am yet to be tested.

@Rose65, I hope your time of trial is over. You have survived. Let yourself rest now and inwardly grow strong again.
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Thankyou, I'm ok. I always am, somehow.
 
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