Do You Feel awkward making small talk with a stranger?

hollydolly

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
If for example you're in an elevator with another person , do you feel awkward that you might be expected to speak and find yourself looking down at your shoes hoping the other person won't speak , or perhaps on the tube or the train sitting opposite someone or standing at a bus stop ..do you feel you're expected to talk and would rather not...or are you happy striking up a conversation with a total stranger just to fill a few silent moments.
 

Yes I would feel awkward not a big talker, I would not start a conversation as I find people don't seem to want to talk to one another now days especially in the city, I sat waiting for Ron in Rundle Mall, the main shopping street in centre of Adelaide and was watching if I could see anyone who didn't have a mobile phone and did not see one person , I'd estimate to be over 12 years old who was not talking on or fiddling with a phone .
 
As a pilot flying coast to coast, I have spent many nights (1000's) in hotels. Normally, almost as soon as I would get into an elevator wearing my uniform, someone would start off the conversation. Most popular question was, "Where are you off to today?" Most popular answer was, "Oh, I always wanted to visit there." No matter where I was flying to. I came to realize that my uniform, not me, was an ice-breaker.
 
I wouldn't start a conversation with strangers when I was younger, but now I'll talk to just about anybody. When I moved from Michigan to TN I found people very friendly and it was natural to start up conversations with strangers. When I lived in Herts (England) I did not as it never seemed welcome. I noticed when I waited for the train in the morning going to work that nobody ever talked to each other, and you knew they'd been taking the same train the same time possibly for years. When we went through a spell of the trains being very late every morning I started talking to a woman older than I and she was fine chatting with me, and we started chatting every morning.

Where I live now most people will talk to others on the street, in the shops, on the bus, even if it's just what a lovely day or what horrible weather. One thing I really love about taking the bus is that nobody is really a stranger, everyone will talk to anyone. Same in the shops, in the queue, doctor's office, dentist's, etc. I absolutely love it here. This is the friendliest place I've ever lived.
 
Yes, I am because I am just a shy, sensitive lad trying to make my way in this wicked world...
 
Usually I am comfortable and enjoy talking with people I don't know. Have had many interesting conversations.
 
Here is a short story that came to mind after I made my original post. I had just stepped into the elevator car in San Diego uniformed and pressed, already to go to the airport. There were two younger women in the car and they stood aside to let me in. As we were going down, the one lady asked me where I was flying to today. I told her that my first flight today was to Denver and from there I would be flying home to Baltimore, MD and would be done for the day. She asked me brazenly if I ever let anyone see my cockpit. I was stunned at first and I guess my face turned red. After she realized how she said what she did, we all had a good laugh. I told her thanks for giving my day a boost to get started. BTW, they were off to Honolulu on United.
 
oldman said:
Here is a short story that came to mind after I made my original post. I had just stepped into the elevator car in San Diego uniformed and pressed, already to go to the airport. There were two younger women in the car and they stood aside to let me in. As we were going down, the one lady asked me where I was flying to today. I told her that my first flight today was to Denver and from there I would be flying home to Baltimore, MD and would be done for the day. She asked me brazenly if I ever let anyone see my cockpit. I was stunned at first and I guess my face turned red. After she realized how she said what she did, we all had a good laugh. I told her thanks for giving my day a boost to get started. BTW, they were off to Honolulu on United.
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LOL! Too funny.
 
Dame Warrigal said:
Not in the slightest. I start conversations in the doctor's waiting room, at a bus stop or on a park bench.
Hubby looks at me and remarks, "You'll talk to anyone, won't you?" and I answer "Yep".
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I wish it was as easy for me as it is for you! I usually take a book or wear sunglasses just to avoid eye contact which might...shudder.....lead to talking....oh the horror!!!

Not that I'm afraid of the people I see (I live in a province that has a reputation for niceness and politeness) more like I'm afraid my brain will simply turn off and I won't have anything to say if they start. You're very lucky you know. I've been trying for 60 years to get over this and it's still an issue. I even forced myself to accept the nomination to be the daily vacation Bible school teacher two years in a row just so that I'd 'have to get over it'.........but it didn't work :(.

I'm finally at an age where I've given up worrying about it....this is me....take me or leave me.......
 
oldman said:
Here is a short story that came to mind after I made my original post. I had just stepped into the elevator car in San Diego uniformed and pressed, already to go to the airport. There were two younger women in the car and they stood aside to let me in. As we were going down, the one lady asked me where I was flying to today. I told her that my first flight today was to Denver and from there I would be flying home to Baltimore, MD and would be done for the day. She asked me brazenly if I ever let anyone see my cockpit. I was stunned at first and I guess my face turned red. After she realized how she said what she did, we all had a good laugh. I told her thanks for giving my day a boost to get started. BTW, they were off to Honolulu on United.
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Yes, we San Diego gals will say just about anything for a chance to talk with a man in uniform.
 
Debby said:
I wish it was as easy for me as it is for you! I usually take a book or wear sunglasses just to avoid eye contact which might...shudder.....lead to talking....oh the horror!!!

Not that I'm afraid of the people I see (I live in a province that has a reputation for niceness and politeness) more like I'm afraid my brain will simply turn off and I won't have anything to say if they start. You're very lucky you know. I've been trying for 60 years to get over this and it's still an issue. I even forced myself to accept the nomination to be the daily vacation Bible school teacher two years in a row just so that I'd 'have to get over it'.........but it didn't work :(.

I'm finally at an age where I've given up worrying about it....this is me....take me or leave me.......
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Blimey Debby I'd never have guessed that about you , that's the beauty of the internet and posting from behind a screen, people who are shy or who's brain freezes if not given time to think of a response are perfectly at ease on a chat forum.

I'm a very chatty person I'll talk to anyone...but I do remeber getting a Brain freeze once. I was sitting in the park in Germany enjoying the sun and taking in the views, and a smartly dressed German guy about 70 sat down next to me. Now for a German to strike up a conversation is unusual anyway but he did and when he discovered I was English he didn't hold back , giving me his opinion ( in a polite way) about German Politics, and asked me what I though of it. I had total Brain freeze ..I knew nothing about it, so when I started to explain I didn't really know anything as I'd only been in Germany a short time , he told me in no uncertain terms that he was well up on British politics and he didn't even live in the UK , so I should make time to know about Germany.....and I started to mumble some kind of nonsense and quickly made excuses and left ..ooh the embarrassment..LOL
 
During my working years I took the bus to/from work. It was an express bus ride which only took about 20 minutes one way. Over the years I made some lovely friendships with people I initiated conversations with on the bus. If you see someone every day, it seems rude not to start saying hello. One lady on the bus would always have a newspaper and while reading it one day, she made a comment about politics to me that made me realize we were in agreement. One thing lead to another and she is now my best friend of many years standing.
 
I'm not a big talker at all, but I'm pretty comfortable having a little small talk with a stranger in an elevator, store or in the park, etc. I don't look to force a conversation or eye contact, but many times it comes naturally from either side. Many folks are friendly and will smile or nod if I'm taking a walk in the park, many times it comes with a beautiful day comment or looks like snow remark. Lately I've noticed whether I hold a door for someone, or they hold it for me, pleasantries like thanks,have a good day are exchanged. Life is good when people are friendly and mellow.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I'm not a big talker at all, but I'm pretty comfortable having a little small talk with a stranger in an elevator, store or in the park, etc. I don't look to force a conversation or eye contact, but many times it comes naturally from either side. Many folks are friendly and will smile or nod if I'm taking a walk in the park, many times it comes with a beautiful day comment or looks like snow remark. Lately I've noticed whether I hold a door for someone, or they hold it for me, pleasantries like thanks,have a good day are exchanged. Life is good when people are friendly and mellow.
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That is very true SB, and a lot of older people who live on their own may not have much conversation during the day.
 

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