Do you feel like you can ask your adult children for help when you need it?

dusty said:
Take back your power. You sound like you are completely able and aware of the world around you. Whatever it is to get the house cleaned out, do it. Do't ask them. Find a place thatwill help you through the county or friends. When the house is ready to be sold, find a realtor and slap a sign on it. When it sells, take your proceeds and find a place to live on your own if that's what you want. The kids do not think you can do this but you can. I know you have doubts but as long as you have your mind you'll be ok.
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I would absolutely do all that however , I’m not living nearby.an hr from my House and don’t drive.. that’s why I have to rely on them otherwise i would have done it!
It’s we. Difficult,since I have no other family close who can help.
 

ME/TOO said:
I would absolutely do all that however , I’m not living nearby.an hr from my House and don’t drive.. that’s why I have to rely on them otherwise i would have done it!
It’s we. Difficult,since I have no other family close who can help.
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What would you do if there were no children? You would call the county and arrange for a ride, have the people at the house to do the work of cleaning it out. Stay in a hotel for a few days and call a realtor. If you have no money then sell the house as a distress sale and use the profits to pay all the costs. You will make less money but the monkey will be off your back.

There are investors who will buy houses and rehab them to resell. They will give you a flat amount well below the value. That may be ok with you. Don't give up so easily.
 

Yes, my kids will help me. When I got divorced four years ago, my youngest son did much of the remodeling in my condo. I have friends older than me that I help with physical things that they cannot do. I also have a younger friend that will help me if the time comes that I need it.
 
Both of my daughters live on the other side of the country. I have been estranged from one for years, although recently we have spoken. The other would help if I asked if we weren't so far apart.

Also, I have a difficult time asking.
 
My oldest son lives here & will help any time he is asked. My 2nd. oldest while living in Penna. was called the afternoon I went in for complete spinal rebuild. His plane landed the following morning. So yes I can ask anytime.
 
PenelopePlum said:
I recently asked my son in law for some help moving a small amount of items from my storage to my garage. Nothing too huge or heavy, just bins and bags mostly. (He has a pickup.) This is the first time I’ve ever asked him for help with anything. I placed no timeframe on the request, told him we could do it anytime it was convenient for him if he was willing.

Next thing I know my daughter was making it clear to me that they both felt I was “manipulating” him. So the long and short of it is, the answer is no. I don’t ask my daughter for any help anymore. Haven’t tried for years. She resents anytime I’ve ever asked, so I’ve only tried rarely when I’m in a real jam like I am now. She’s the kind of person who blows up if you don’t do every little thing her way. Very unpleasant.

I’ve always been a very independent person, preferring to take care of myself. So it’s not like I have a history of trying to take advantage of people. In the current instance I’ve tried to find someone I can hire to do the job but haven’t been able to.

I’m nearly 70 years old now and no longer able to do as much as I once was. I’m starting to feel like I’ll never be able to count on my family for anything no matter how old or infirm I get.. It’s depressing to think about. You give everything you have to your kids for decades, and yet it’s too much trouble to do you a small favor now and then.

I keep waiting for my daughter to mature enough to take on a more adult role, but she’s in her mid-40’s now and we’re still not there. I think I raised her better than this, it wasn’t the example I set for her growing up. I don’t know why she’s like this. I wonder, is it her generation or what? Anybody else having this issue?
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Do you have a neighborhood Facebook group like Nextdoor. Around here people will post I need someone to do a job
and several somebodies will post Im available to do that. If theyve done a crap job in the past other neighbors will chime in and tell about it. Neighbors will also give recommendations for jobs done well.

I dont have kids or siblings. I probably wouldnt ask if I did anyways. Im not used to asking for stuff. When I was younger I was always the one being asked. If I cant or dont want to do it I need to hire someone. Ive used a few people off of Nextdoor. Havent had any trouble with any of them.
 
Our kids help us out more than we need. We only have one that lives here in Idaho the other 3 are still in California. The nearby one is always coming over to help with things-yesterday her hubby was here all day helping dh put in a new water heater. And we never ask for anything-no need to.
Our youngest daughter and SIL fly up here at least once a month and do whatever they see needs to be done. They are going to pay $4,500 to have a tree taken down in our yard that is splitting and they are afraid could fall on our house.(it wouldn't). I wouldn't even tell that daughter that our water heater went out cuz she would have ordered a new one and had it installed.
Daughter #2 doesn't offer much help but would if we asked.And she won't let us get a hotel when we visit-she wants us at her house.
Our son helps dh with anything needing doing when they visit but they are only able to get up here once a year or so. He does call us every single week though!
 
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