Estrangement : Have you ever Gone No contact with a Parent , child or close family member?

hollydolly said:
I completely get that. I did the same with the wicked stap-mother too.. but I did it too my father as well while they were married to each other, because he was an evil SOB.. and he married the female version of himself.. so I had no problems at all cutting them dead...
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Sorry that happened to you. An evil father must be a lot harder to take than the wicked step-mother...
 

My son was a handful. At 17, I put him out of the house, but provided necessities of life. There was tremendous friction between him and his father. My reasoning was my son would be at home for maybe a few years, while my life with my husband would go on for many. Now…nearly 40 years later and knowing what I do, would I have done the same? A resounding NO! Too soon old, too late smart.
 
I severed ties with my father. I'm not proud of that, and I wish I could have found another way. It was the only solution I could find to deal with a sick relationship. I have some envy toward those who have good relationships with their fathers, although envy may not be quite the right word. I am truly happy for them, and hope with all my heart that they realize how fortunate they are.
 
Yes, I cut ties with my evil, toxic, narcissistic, alcoholic mother when I was 17 years old and left home. I was one of 4 children and 3 of us did the same thing at either 17 or 18. The youngest was only 8 or 9 at that time I left. She became her mother's clone.

I will not go into details regarding some of things she did because no one would ever believe that anyone could be so evil AND make herself look like the innocent party.

After my mother died, 30 yrs later, I and my brother & sister re-established a relationship with our father, but not our youngest sister as she was her mother's clone.

They are all gone now, and I am the only survivor. I do miss my brother & one sister.
 
I didn't know it when I was growing up, but my mom had a personality disorder. She created division. Example: my 17 year old niece was having an affair with a 46 year old, married father of three, and my mom allowed them to meet in her upstairs bedroom. You can imagine when my brother found this about his daughter. I never knew a family reunion, where she wasn't fighting with someone- every birthday every wedding, every funeral, every cookout. every christening, etc.` She's the reason I moved to another state. Finally, it was easier just to not have anything to do with her.
 
As some of you know, I've had to cut ties with my 48 yo son, as I've posted (and whined about it) on here more then once. I haven't seen him in over 9 years. His choice...not mine. Seems he can't forgive or forget the past that he thinks he knows, but doesn't really and won't listen. I'm going to be 76 in a couple weeks and I don't need the anxiety or stress of trying to force a relationship with him that he doesn't want.

In 2004, I had to cut ties with my mother. I just couldn't take her verbal abuse any more. She passed away in 2006 and I regret that we never had a good relationship. I had to do it for my own sanity.
 
I know very few families without at least one estrangement somewhere in the mix, whether with a parent, sibling, aunt, uncle, grandparent, cousin, or child. Mine included.

Yes, it's sad, but sometimes people are so toxic to one another that cutting off contact is the best solution. Emotional healing finally comes when we realize it's time to stop laying blame and just let go.

I wish peace and happiness for the family member with whom I'm estranged. There's some sadness and regret in my heart, but even though I'm often tempted to reach out again I know there's no point. Our relationship has been on again off again since we were kids. If we patch it up, another rift will soon take the place of this one.
 
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I never see my brother anymore because he’s such a self-centered jerk. He was never much of a part of my life even in childhood, so I don’t miss him at all. When Covid hit, his wife made some overtures on FB about getting together “when this is over.” Still waiting for my invitation. Not holding my breath.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I didn't know it when I was growing up, but my mom had a personality disorder. She created division. Example: my 17 year old niece was having an affair with a 46 year old, married father of three, and my mom allowed them to meet in her upstairs bedroom. You can imagine when my brother found this about his daughter. I never knew a family reunion, where she wasn't fighting with someone- every birthday every wedding, every funeral, every cookout. every christening, etc.` She's the reason I moved to another state. Finally, it was easier just to not have anything to do with her.
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Oh do I get this. I didn't see my mother cause actual fights with my stepfather's family. That appeared reserved for us and her side of the family. But they ruin holidays and events. My mother made a fool of herself at gatherings put on by my stepfather's family. They were big on holiday gatherings. Eventually we just stopped going which is what she wanted.

She ruined birthdays of mine, she ruined my 8th grade graduation. I never went to another graduation. I hate my birthday.

There is a saying about them "the bride at every wedding and the deceased at every funeral." It's always, always, always about them. They can't even stand a day all about a 7 year old on their birthday.

Your mother was diabolical. I wonder what she got out of this arangement?
 
Remy said:
She ruined birthdays of mine, she ruined my 8th grade graduation. I never went to another graduation. I hate my birthday.
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It's really amazing isn't it!! I never went to any of my graduations, because I never knew what she would do. No one knows my birthday, because it has such a negative connotation to me.

I saw how different my friend's families were and one day it just hit me that this was no way to live. I started saving $$ for my escape when I was 13.
 
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