Question: What’s the absolute best Christmas present?
Answer: A broken drum — you can’t beat it!
Q: What's Santa Claus's favorite type of potato chip?
A: Crisp Pringles!
Q: What did one Christmas tree say to another?
A: Lighten up!
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.
Q: What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
A: He got 25 days.
Q: What did the third wise man say after his friends had already presented gold and frankincense?
A: “But wait, there’s myrrh!”
Q: What’s colorful, spins around and has wheels?
A: A dreidel, I lied about the wheels.
Q: What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
A: Fleece Navidad.
Q: What is a parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
A: Silent Night.
Q: What do you call a child who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A: Rebel without a Claus.
Q: Which hand should you light the menorah with?
A: Neither. It’s best to light it with a candle.
Q: How do you know when Santa’s around?
A: You can always sense his presents.
Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A: Do you smell carrots?
Q: Why does Santa hate going down the chimney?
A: Because he’s Claus-trophobic.
Q: Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing?
A: They have a habit of dropping their needles.