Everything Christmas

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Question: What’s the absolute best Christmas present?

Answer: A broken drum — you can’t beat it!

Q: What's Santa Claus's favorite type of potato chip?

A: Crisp Pringles!

Q: What did one Christmas tree say to another?

A: Lighten up!

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?

A: North Polish.

Q: What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?

A: He got 25 days.

Q: What did the third wise man say after his friends had already presented gold and frankincense?

A: “But wait, there’s myrrh!”
Q: What’s colorful, spins around and has wheels?

A: A dreidel, I lied about the wheels.

Q: What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?

A: Fleece Navidad.

Q: What is a parent’s favorite Christmas carol?

A: Silent Night.

Q: What do you call a child who doesn’t believe in Santa?

A: Rebel without a Claus.

Q: Which hand should you light the menorah with?

A: Neither. It’s best to light it with a candle.

Q: How do you know when Santa’s around?

A: You can always sense his presents.

Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

A: Do you smell carrots?

Q: Why does Santa hate going down the chimney?

A: Because he’s Claus-trophobic.

Q: Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing?

A: They have a habit of dropping their needles.
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