Extramarital Sex-How Do You Feel About it?

Extramarital affairs ruin lives, ruin families, hurts children on multiple levels, ruins your character, your respect, your integrity, maybe lose your job, your promotion, it's cheap, it's weak, it's wrong, it's hurtful, etc etc etc...it's just not worth the natural consequences. Did I mention I'm against extramarital affairs? :rolleyes:

If a person no longer wants to be married to their spouse then get a divorce first, before having extramarital sex. It's still hurtful but it's honest.
 

Lara said:
Extramarital affairs ruin lives, ruin families, hurts children on multiple levels, ruins your character, your respect, your integrity, maybe lose your job, your promotion, it's cheap, it's weak, it's wrong, it's hurtful, etc etc etc...it's just not worth the natural consequences. My only experience is that my father left my mother after 35 years of marriage and 3 kids after fooling around with a woman who eventually destroyed him, his business, his health, his character, everything he had. Did I mention I'm against extramarital affairs? :rolleyes:
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Thanks for your opinion. Your world certainly has been colored by e.a. and I'm sorry that it happened.
 
Just don't. It is not worth the price you will pay ultimately. Instead invest your time and effort into your spouse for a much better return on your investment. When it comes to marriage, the pasture is rarely if ever greener on the other side. This is a case where you should think before you leap.
 

I just wonder if men who visit brothels is concidered as cheating ?

We we sold our house in the Adelaide in 2004 and went traveling around Australia in our caravan
One of the many interesting large towns we visited has a very long running brothel established in ...1892

Kalgoorlie is a gold mining town ,that employed allot of married men who’s families lived in other areas ( Kalgoorlie is a very dry dusty area )

However the area now has a fly in fly out workforce meaning many of the miners now work two weeks on two weeks off so the brothel has lost allot of business and now conducts day tours of brothel .

We went on the tour out of curiosity and was told by the madam on the 1.5 hour tour how most of their clients where lonely married men
she stated her business “saved” allot of marriages that would of otherwise ended if it wasn’t for “her business “
https://www.kalgoorlietourism.com/questa-casa-australias-oldest-brothel
 
Kadee46, I suspect that the madam saying that some marriages were 'saved' because of some (boo hoo) lonesome husband relieving his 'stress' with a brothel whore was conning herself and whoever to keep the suckers (money) coming in. Man, what an icky, sleazy occupation. Marriage saved? Maybe miserably.
 
Ruthanne said:
Extramarital sex

So, on this subject of extramarital sex do you feel it is ever right?

Please give your opinion on the subject. Thank you.
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I don't think that extramarital sex is ever right but I have seen situations over the years where I felt it was understandable.

I'm thinking mainly of situations where one spouse was suffering from a long serious illness.

It really is up to the people directly involved in the relationship to decide for themselves.
 
If divorce papers are going through the court system, for another reason and you've got really hot pants

Ya might just as well do it. A ONE anna TWO anna WHOOPEE !!!
 
One should watch the TV show called ID (Investigative Discovery) once in a while - for a cruel dose of reality. I am amazed at what can happen to couples.

Often chaos, ruined families, broken trust, calamities, and a host of other things, and sometimes even murders occur because of outbursts of rage.

Some of those who have had their lives ruined are sitting in prison cells.

Its just not worth it for the sake of a few moments of sinful acts and all the web of lies it takes to cover it up.

Don't do it!
 
Married people promise to be faithful to each other. Staying so is a matter of integrity. If you have no intention of staying faithful - stay single. If you do get married and discover your wanderlust is too great, then get a divorce!
 
I don't think I've ever read any pro's for having an extra marital affair. Excuses yes but logical this is the best way to treat a spouse never. Not happy with a marriage? End it the same way it began with respect for the one you thought was right for you.
 
I did not read all of the posts, but I have a friend that was cheated on by his wife. After watching all what he went through emotionally and how it affected his physical health, I would say that it is the worse thing one spouse can do to another, if they are both supposedly in love, which his wife said that she was. His wife told him that it had nothing to do with love, just that he (the other man) paid more attention to her.

I would have to say in my friend’s defense that she must have been looney tunes. My friend spent a lot of time with her and his family. He provided her with a beautiful home, new cars every few years, I never heard him complain about her spending habits and he spent most all of his free time with her and/or the family. She really should not have had any complaints. A lot of wives would have given their left arm to be in her shoes

This happened maybe 10 years ago and I know that they are still trying to work through it. They have been through counseling, both with a psychologist and their Priest, but he keeps telling me that he just can’t get that spark back that he had prior to his finding out about the affair. For them, divorce is out of the question. They don’t want the family to know or break up the family.

I guess my question is; is this a good reason for them to stay together? I mean, they do get along very well, but I can just tell that there is a wall between them. He used to show her affection in public, but not anymore. I am surprised that their kids haven’t caught on to that. He and I are actually best friends, so you know how that goes. I am also hurt by this because he is not completely happy, so his pain is also my pain. He does all the right things that he should be doing just as if everything was wonderful. It’s just an amazing situation that they can put on this act, but it is working for them.

Sorry for for the long post. I wrote about this issue on this forum a few years back. I don’t know what goes on behind their closed doors, but like I wrote earlier, they get along very well in public. I think he’s really trying to find that spark again, but I’m afraid that it’s not going to happen. We don’t talk about it anymore, so I don’t know what he’s thinking about.
 
If both agree,join a swingers club. problem solved..If that is your thing of course...and I never moralise each to their own I say!!
 
My ex husband had several affairs. I was very trusting, and very naive, and had no clue for the longest time. When I found out, I was devastated. I would never, knowingly, put someone else what I went through as the unsuspecting spouse. Never.

Falcon said:
How do I feel about it? Fine with me. I follow that old saying, 'Variety is the spice of life."

Just kidding. I NEVER cheated on my wife. Never had to; she kept me well satisfied.

2nd marriages for both of us. We traded a few things we knew from the other marriage.
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Respectfully, I don't agree that it is the wife's job to keep her husband "well satisfied." I think it's important to ensure that any sexual dysfunction or incompatibilities are addressed or solved. If they're unsolvable then get a divorce before finding another sexual partner.
 
And also, with all due respect, Falcon did NOT say, it was his wife’s job to keep him ‘well satisfied.’
He merely stated that ‘ he WAS satisfied.

I took his answer to mean, I didn’t see a reason to go looking for any other woman because mine keep me happy.
Perhaps you ‘might’ be taking his words ‘out of context.’

Men often get a bad rap but in my experience, ‘most’ men love incredibly deeply and are exceptionally loyal. In fact, surprisingly so.

Lets give Falcon and the other loyal men here, the credit they rightly deserve.
 
Extramarital Sex-How Do You Feel About it?


My basic thoughts on this;

It’s not ‘manly’
Or ‘womanly’
Of which today’s society has really screwed up those definitions
(I'll blame that on the movies...and the bar scene)

When single (or unattached these days), sure, seek, play, cavort

When married (or long term attached), it’s a commitment, a promise
To yer mate
And to yerself
There are no others

Sure, one finds others attractive
But that’s where it ends

It goes back to the promise of marriage itself
Of which is the most beautiful promise between two people, ever
And should never be trifled with, or taken lightly
It should be enjoyed, to the fullest...moment by precious moment

It’s just too good
 
You could say my ex.wife's adultery nearly cost me my life, so there can certainly be huge consequences for others, if not for those directly involved in any adultery.

Many men do carry on like this I know, having affairs behind their wife's back, an ex.girlfriend of mine (who I met years after her husband left), was cheated on for probably ten years, and gullible enough to believe his assurances he loved her alone. These days they say more women break up relationships than men, whether or not there is another party involved, but definitely something of a minefield as many earlier posts in this thread show.
 

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