Fear of Phoning

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
I do not have many fears and some are conditional (I can walk out on my roof to clean the rain gutters, but I can't climb up a ladder to do it). However, one of my "biggies" is calling people on the phone, especially businesses. I get all tongue tied and sound like a babbling idiot most of the time. I like to make contact by email where I have time to compose my thoughts, but not all businesses have email contact available. Apparently is is a known condition:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_phobia
 

debodun said:
I do not have many fears and some are conditional (I can walk out on my roof to clean the rain gutters, but I can't climb up a ladder to do it). However, one of my "biggies" is calling people on the phone, especially businesses. I get all tongue tied and sound like a babbling idiot most of the time. I like to make contact by email where I have time to compose my thoughts, but not all businesses have email contact available. Apparently is is a known condition:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_phobia
Click to expand...

My sister is the same way. She is WAY too worried about what the guy on the other end of the line is going to think of her -- she always says they will think she is stupid, so she won't ask questions. I, on the other hand, don't care what they think -- I wouldn't be calling for help if I knew the answers.

She doesn't like to e-mail either, so she puts everything off until it is a crisis and then calls me to intercede for her, which drives me NUTS. If she does call them, she'll tell me "but I didn't understand what they told me." Then she gets hurt when I tell her that if she doesn't understand something, tell them so and ask them to explain. But she won't do that. She calls me and wants me to fix it. GRRRR!
 
I have the same disorder. It is really hard for us, because afterward, we are so haunted by what occurred we'd rather just avoid the misery altogether. It can be disabling. I read it's because our brains' amygdala is a little larger than normal. I take meds for it. They help a little.
 
@Butterfly

I can understand how what your sister does can be annoying, to put it mildly. But she keeps doing it because she KNOWS you'll help her. The solution is to tell her "As an adult you're going to have to deal with these situations yourself. I can no longer fix these problems for you." Period.

Then stick to it. If she calls you about a "crisis" remind.her that SHE created it and SHE will have to fix it herself as best she can. End of discussion. Otherwise, it'll go on and on forever.
 
Last edited:
I would much rather deal with people in person, but not because I fear speaking with people over the phone. In the business that I was in before retirement, I found that people have an easier time of lying to me over the phone then they do face to face.

People were going to lie to me anyway, but I can spot a liar easier when looking them in the eye. Of course, we have those liars that have the ability to lie and still be convincing.
 
debodun said:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_phobia
Click to expand...

"Telephone Phobia" seems to be a fairly common condition....much like some who have "stage fright" if they have to speak in front of an audience. Since you've done some Internet research, you know that this can be a treatable condition, if it is causing you problems. There is No shame in seeking help/counseling for this condition....and most insurance will pay for any treatments needed. The "Shame" involved with such a condition is recognizing that you have a problem...then, doing Nothing about it.
 
The robots that direct your call vary from acceptable to wanting to kill the robot. I just had a miserable time with Citi Bank that kept brining up additional menus to choose from one after another when all I wanted was to speak to customer service. I was on the phone with a Consumer Cellular agent the other day and she kept talking when I pleaded with her to stop and listen to why I was calling. Very nerve racking. I have now been without a phone for three days and they say it could take five days to get my new phone replacing the one that has been junk for the past month. It used to be delivered express the next day. Then there's Directv that said a new tuner was on the way and it never came so now I have to go back and call them again. One thing is for certain it is only going to get worse.
 
C'est Moi said:
You can call me!! :D ā˜Ž
Click to expand...

I'll need a longer string!

6a00e008dbc8a18834016303afc021970d-800wi
 
applecruncher said:
@Butterfly

I can understand how what your sister does can be annoying, to put it mildly. But she keeps doing it because she KNOWS you'll help her. The solution is to tell her "As an adult you're going to have to deal with these situations yourself. I can no longer fix these problems for you." Period.

Then stick to it. If she calls you about a "crisis" remind.her that SHE created it and SHE will have to fix it herself as best she can. End of discussion. Otherwise, it'll go on and on forever.
Click to expand...

You're right, of course, but she is my 71 year old disabled little sister and the only family I really have left except my son (who literally works all over the world) and I'm committed to helping her out all I can. She is much less fortunate than I but does quite well on her own, as a general rule. She just has this thing about telephones and electronic communications and I've agreed to help her out with this, and she has agreed to put up with my sometimes-crabbiness about it.

We've pretty much reached a solution in that she's agreed to let me know right away if she is having a problem with something and we'll try to figure it before it becomes a crisis. It's a lot easier that way.
 
Judycat said:
If I am calling a business or doctor even sometimes to cancel an appointment, I write out what I want to say. Depends on what kind of mood I'm in. If I'm feeling anxious, I stick to the script. If I'm feeling calm I use it only as a guide.
Click to expand...
What a brilliant strategy, JC. I'll have to try that.

I like email and text, particularly for info I'm going to need later. (When and where are we meeting?)

However, I also like shooting the breeze with a couple of far away family members and try to do so at least a couple of times a month with each. We text each other first to arrange a convenient time.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top